I had a different coworker who went into exhaustive detail about various things, particularly this online game he liked. When my desperate cries of “Give me the short version!” had no effect, I sent him a link to this Red Dwarf script. Thereafter, he would interrupt himself with a muttered, “and then I rolled a 5 and a 2,” at least occasionally.
[QUOTE=DoctorJ]
I think you mean Precious Moments, and yes, they’re nauseating.
One of the people I work with got me a little Precious Moments doctor for Christmas last year. When my wife saw it, she said, “She has met you, right?”
[/QUOTE]
That’s right - Precious Moments. ::shudder::
[QUOTE=Chimera]
Then I offered to buy him the Tedious Wanker t-shirt.
[/QUOTE]
I want one. Where can I get one?
I live and work (though not much longer on the ‘work’ part) with a tedious wanker, whose chief interests are military history and professional wrestling (neither of which I find interesting in the slightest).
It was worse in the past, but he still corners me and monologues at me on a semi-regular basis. Got better when I started being brutally honest about my disinterest, doing everything from simply walking away (that really pisses him off!) to interjecting and asking him if what he’s about to say will be a waste of my time or not.
I even tried monologuing him on my subjects of intererst (human evolution and linguistics, mainly), but he quickly thwarted me by hijacking my monologue with one of his own. Wanker! Got even worse when he got accepted into graduate school…
[QUOTE=ignis_glaciesque]
I even tried monologuing him on my subjects of intererst (human evolution and linguistics, mainly), but he quickly thwarted me by hijacking my monologue with one of his own. Wanker! Got even worse when he got accepted into graduate school…
[/QUOTE]
Ah, yes. The coveted Master of Science - Professional Wrestling degree. 
Precious Moments, Snow Babies, Lladro figurines–my MIL has them all. She doesn’t collect them, though–she just has bad taste. <shudders>
I actually thought that Pretty Moments were a spinoff of Precious Moments–sweet Christ, they’re breeding! was my first thought…
I’ve had a person wake me up to tell me about his brilliant new idea for Christ, I don’t know-a power changer or generator or water heater or some damned thing. It was late; I was asleep; I am not a mechanical engineer; I do not care. He does this upon occasion–let’s just say I don’t find it sexy. (he hasn’t done it in awhile-perhaps he’s learned).
I think the most tedious wankers are the ones who feel compelled to EXPLAIN it all to you, almost as if they were thinking out loud. I can see the connecion between X and Y in your collection. I don’t need it explained: one is blue, the other is red. Same object, different colors. Very nice. Moving on–oh, we’re not moving on because you must share how rare the red ones are? Kill me now…
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp]
Ah, yes. The coveted Master of Science - Professional Wrestling degree.
[/QUOTE]
Ha! Priceless!
[QUOTE=eleanorigby]
Precious Moments, Snow Babies, Lladro figurines–my MIL has them all. … Kill me now…
[/QUOTE]
Which reminds me… the American Girls dolls, which are made here, so I know way more than I should about them. Knowing they even exist is way more than I need to know. They come with biographies, and they’re named, and people speak of them by their names and repeat their “personal histories” just like they’re referring to a real child.
It is REALLY creepy!
[QUOTE=Zebra]
Is loving Jesus a hobby?
[/QUOTE]
Yes it is! The world’s most annoying hobby!
[QUOTE=Cervaise]
This might be a little bit meta, but nobody’s mentioned it yet, so it has to be said:
Potheads.
The distinction here is that very few potheads sit around and smoke weed — and then do absolutely nothing. No, they smoke weed, and then they engage in various activities: many of them hobbies that have been mentioned in this thread. And the infusion of marijuana into the activity makes the already tedious wankery even more tedious because it’s filtered through the single note of potheadedness.
Foodie pothead: “Yeah, but have you ever tasted foie gras… on weed? There’s like this whole other layer of texture, and the flavor has so much more depth, you can like taste the grain the duck ate, and…”
Sports pothead: “Yeah, but have you ever watched baseball… on weed? You can actually see the pitcher and the batter trying to read each others’ minds, man…”
Cinemaphile pothead: “Yeah, but have you ever watched Bad Santa… on weed? It’s just so dark and so mean, it’s amazing the movie ever got made, it’s like the producers had no idea what kind of movie they were signing off on…”
Gamer pothead: “Yeah, but have you ever played HALO… on weed?”
Audiophile pothead: “Yeah, but have you ever listened to Miles Davis… on weed?”
And so on. I’ve never talked to a stamp-collecting pothead, but I imagine the experience would be similar: “Have you ever compared a mid-1930s British stamp with a late-1960s British stamp… on weed?” or whatever.
Ditto any other hobby mentioned so far, with the exception of those that require intense physical activity. Basically, you take anyone who engages in a primarily sedentary activity, and add marijuana, and you get a hobbyist who is even more obsessive about it than the non-pothead, and who is even more desperate to share the wonder of it all with anyone who will listen.
I win.
[/QUOTE]
Oh, yes, you do… I was literally crying with laughter reading that. Good thing I’m not on weed or I might have, like, died.
[QUOTE=calm kiwi]
Yes it is! The world’s most annoying hobby!
[/QUOTE]
Yes, but have you ever loved Jesus…on weed?
[QUOTE=ignis_glaciesque]
I live and work (though not much longer on the ‘work’ part) with a tedious wanker, whose chief interests are military history and professional wrestling (neither of which I find interesting in the slightest).
[/QUOTE]
Get him a subscription to Internet Tough Guy Magazine and he’ll never bother you again.
[QUOTE=Hypno-Toad]
You could change your dopername to T.D.S. Wanker.
[/QUOTE]
Oh, how I would make this a liscense plate on my truck, if I could get it past the Liscense Plate Nazi’s.
TDSWANKR
Oh, and if you have time to kill That is why you are here, right? I found a cool make it yourself t-shirt site:Spread Shirt . I haven’t test driven the quality of it all yet, but I am having fun there.
[QUOTE=Shirley Ujest]
Oh, how I would make this a liscense plate on my truck, if I could get it past the Liscense Plate Nazi’s.
TDSWANKR
Oh, and if you have time to kill That is why you are here, right? I found a cool make it yourself t-shirt site:Spread Shirt . I haven’t test driven the quality of it all yet, but I am having fun there.
[/QUOTE]
I would try to put a little naval twist to it – USS Wanker, or HMS Wanker, for a bit of British class.
[QUOTE=Shirley Ujest]
Oh, how I would make this a liscense plate on my truck, if I could get it past the Liscense Plate Nazis.
[/QUOTE]
There’s always the Tedious Wanker motivational poster. Considerable thanks to Usram, from whose earlier post I pinched most of the text for this.
Most excellent, Scissorjack!
[QUOTE=fessie]
Most excellent, Scissorjack!
[/QUOTE]
I’ve made it my wallpaper, although it would make a kickarse teeshirt.
[QUOTE=Spiny Norman]
And then there were the keen ones. Ye gads, the keen ones…
They would spend incredible sums on “better” gear, read books and watch movies on Special Forces operations, load themselves down with all sorts of tactical flashlights and special utensils and whatnot. They’d talk endlessly about the SAS and the Spetznas and the Jaeger Force, about helicopter rappelling and long-range reconnaissance missions. None of which was really the mission.
…
If they showed up, they’d have to be very carefully led, as they’d tend to be hyper-aggressive in their tactical choices, with little attention paid to relative strengths, assigned fields of fire, friendly fire, the overall tactical situation or such details as - orders. They scorned defensive measures like camouflage or - heaven forbid - digging in. And they did not take post-exercise critique kindly. Even if they could be made to shut up at the post-ex, they’d talk endlessly afterwards about how their decision to interpret orders to “observe and report” as “engage enemy armoured column with rifle fire” was really, truly the right one under the circumstances.
They’d always be the ones asking for more full-auto action on the firing range. (And then have to be gently told that the time and ammo would be better spent improving their grouping at the 100 m range…)
I am not belittling their courage. If the balloon had gone up, they’d undoubtedly perform heroic acts of incredible self-sacrifice, mostly due to a lack of understanding of the situation. I just would’ve wished that they’d be in somebody else’s unit when doing so.
[/QUOTE]
Hah. You’ve just described Gareth from The Office. (The UK version, which is the only real version, of course…since all British comedy is so much more entertaining and intellectual than American comedy. 
)
I can’t say that I’ve ever noticed any one hobby has more tedious wankers than others. It usually depends on the person, because enthusiasts vary in their ability or willingness to talk to nonenthusiasts without boring them.
On the other hand nothing is worse than being the third person in the room when two enthusiasts of the same interest are talking together. I remember going out doing errands with my brother, who was into mountain biking, and our spending an hour in the garage of one of his friends, while the two of them talked about tires and seats and butted vs non-butted tubing. Hoo boy…
I’d probably be more interested now, but I sure wasn’t then.
[QUOTE=casdave]
Meantime, they spend an incredible amount of cash on their chosen hobby, which would pay for them to attend live music many many times over.
[/QUOTE]
LIVE music?! Do you not realize how much the sound quality of live music sucks?!