I don’t want to get into an endless quibbling session over the words “worse” or “bad,” so I’ll decline offering my own definition here. You know what comes to mind when you hear the word “bad,” so ask yourself which is worse, more bad if you will, between stupidity and malice. For a while, I thought I’d answered this question, but I’ve recently had to work with two people who have forced me to reevaluate my answer to this question. One is a horrendous cunt, and the other is just goddamn retarded*.
The Horrendous Cunt, hereinafter referred to as HC, is a 55-year-old seventh grader who, once she decides she doesn’t like you, makes deliberate efforts to make your job harder and relishes in it. This isn’t “Is the bitch tryna start something?” paranoia on my part; HC is truly horrible, does this to several people, everyone is well aware of it, and it’s just allowed because…? Oh, I’ll tell you why. One person who she unleashes her cuntitude on asked me, “Why does she get away with it?” Well, because the old whore has been working for the company since before I was born. Seriously, precisely 3.5 years before I was born, the enormous bitch took her first job at the company. The best (worst?) part is her victims aren’t necessarily worthy. Two of them (and just so we’re clear, I’m not including myself in this two) are among the sweetest people in the office. These same two people, now that I think about it, were reduced to tears likely because they’re sweet young girls who have not been so thoroughly abused on the job before, and didn’t know how to respond to this kind of lunacy from someone who is suppose to be some sort of an authority figure. She’s a senior, for fuck’s sake, but her behavior would suggest she was a temperamental 14 year old working her first summer job. This woman is an epic cunt, and I have half a mind to edit this post to refer to her as EC, but once I’m typing, I don’t edit.
The Fucking Retard, or FR, for the most part means well, but she’s so useless at her job that I can barely stand it. I get so irritated by having to explain everything to her over and over and over again that at times my rage is just barely beneath the surface. She is incapable of making a decision, which kind of sucks considering that’s a large part of, oh, our entire fucking job. I grow mad that every time I have to work with FR, she gets all mousy and stupid about anything that isn’t exactly what she’s used to dealing with. It’s as though she’s an extremely brain-damaged lab rat who can only recognize the most basic of patterns, and any deviation, no matter how minuscule, throws her whole brain into overload. Her manager practically does her job for her. If she’s confused, she stops the entire train, and needs to ask eight levels of management about every fucking typo on a document. It’s gotten to the point that often when she has a question, I don’t even bother to answer, and just bypass all her shit directly to someone who isn’t stupid as fuck. If I give her an answer, she gets all squeamish and needs to verify that everything is okay with the gods. And it’s not just me. It’s not that she doesn’t trust my answers specifically; she doesn’t trust anyone’s answers, and is so scared about being held accountable for any decision she makes, that if anything is even scarcely out of the ordinary, she directly phones God herself to ask if it’s okay. If you try to explain your reasoning to her, she’s either too scared to commit to it, or she plain doesn’t get it. I’ve never seen so many blank stares in my life.
So I ask myself, once again, which is worse: stupidity or malice? The answer is: whichever one is annoying the living shit out of me at the time.
You?
*I said retarded. Suck it.