Which Little Einstein death would the group survive?

Cafe Society
1

Since I have nothing better to do while watching a Sunday morning cartoon with my daughter while getting ready for church, this thought crossed my mind. I am slightly disturbed that the nexus of the Disney channel, hanging with my offspring, and impending church activites made me think of cartoon character deaths, but it did. Clearly, I must see this thought through.

Leo: Pros - Leader of the group, knows how to fly rocket, wears glasses so clearly the smart one. Good baton work.
Cons - Probably a bit smug and self-righteous, too comfortable in his role as the head of the group. Exhibits male pattern baldness at the age of 6.

Annie - Pros - Leo’s little sister, so her death would impact his psyche greatly. Flew Rocket in a pinch once.
Cons - While the designated singer of the group, she’s not all that great at it. Struggles to make the situation fit the tune. Being only 4, she’s easily replaceable assuming her parents didn’t get their cartoon tubes tied.

Quincy - Pros - Good with instruments. Has a catch phrase.
Cons - Clearly a supporting character to Leo, his tasks seem like an afterthought when the writer’s realize they’re overlooking the black dude.

June - Pros - Can dance
Cons - Regularly loses out to a 4 year old in screen time. Obvious romance with Leo has never been explored implying she is a cold-hearted, loveless automaton. Her outfit does not lend itself to major exploration.

Conclusion: If Leo died, the group would disband, at least 2 of them would end up addicted to something, and they’d be on the Disney Channel version of behind the music in 30 years looking like death warmed over. If Annie died, Leo would be useless and a tag team of Quincy and June would be more pointless than the Wonder Twins. If Quincy died, the group would lose a lot of musical ability that aids in their quests and would likely take a couple of non-idiot savant talents to replace him. Without June, they’d lose the rarely used abilty to twirl. Annie could be elevated to her seat in Rocket and backfilled with cheaper 3 year old labor from India or China.

2

So whose death would be worst for the group? I’d think Leo. They could sacrifice June to some angry cow turds and not be any worse off for it, in my opinion.

3

You’d sacrifice Quincy?

I CAN NOT BE-LEAVE IT!

4

I don’t have an answer for you, I’m too busy fantasizing about the deaths of all 3 Doodlebops and trying to decide which Wiggle I want to diddle.

5

Who said anything about Quincy?

6

I guess I never thought of killing off cartoon characters before, at least from non-violent shows other than Barney. It’s starting to become moot at this point, as the Princess has now reached the stage where she’s starting to consider these shows babyish. She got all offended this morning when her cousin asked her if she wanted to go see the Wiggles the next time they’re in town.

7

Moving thread from IMHO to Cafe Society.

8

I speak as a man who had lunch with Leo and June at Disney-MGM not three days ago. No foolin’.

And I am, right this very second, downloading FIVE Little Einsteins episode’s to my iTunes because the three-year-old has a fever and will be staying home today.

This thing is a damn cult, people. You should have seen this lunch. When the violin strain started the entire place quieted until it was time to sing along. I saw pre-schoolers behaving like Elvis fans in 1956.

Jojo and Goliath from ‘Jojo’s Circus’ were there as well and the attitude was 'Get the fuck out of our way, clown-girl, and you won’t get hurt."

It’s Quincy, all the way. In the end his job is denial. The penguins have all whipped out AK-47s? “I canNOT believe it!” and he’s dead. At least June is active in dealing with the world.