C’mon. We all know you daydream about it - that one role you really wanted, which some famous schmuck in Hollywood took. Maybe he (or she) was good, maybe not - but that role was yours, dammit!
So fill us in - The Doctor has shown up on your doorstep and has the Tardis warm and ready to go. You’re going back to any movie ever made, you’re already chosen for the part, and you get a 20 mill 2014 dollar paycheck. It’s inflation adjusted backwards if you want to experience the Roaring Twenties, but no putting it in the bank in 1920 to enjoy the interst. This is about your dreams, not your wallet.
And yeah, you can be Extra #6 in the background of one scene filmed on the first take in 1956 if you really want to, but don’t be so boorish! This is your chance to shine - to be! A STAR!
So come on down and tell all of us about the role of your lifetime!
I’d love to play Sherlock Holmes… Any Holmes movie.
G.A. Custer in a remake of “They Died with Their Boots On.” (Absurd movie, a complete puff-piece, makes Custer look noble and almost saintly. But it would be fun to star in!)
The lead – Humphrey Bogart’s role – in a remake of “Sahara.” (There was a remake of Sahara some years ago. They reprised the dialogue, word-for-word from the original. Very odd! Remakes rarely are that exact.)
The lead – Joseph Cotten’s role – in The Third Man. It would be fun to work opposite Orson Welles!
Willie Wang – Richard Narita’s role – in Murder By Death, just to hang around with that astonishing cast! James Coco, Estelle Winwood, Peter Falk, Elsa Lanchester, Peter Sellers, David Niven, Alec Guinness… I’d sell 20% shares in my soul!
I’d like to do drag for the first time in my life, in order to play Lady Bracknell in the 1952 version of The Importance of Being Earnest.
“To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune. To lose both looks like carelessness!”
“Ignorance is like a delicate exotic fruit; touch it and the bloom is gone. The whole theory of modern education is radically unsound.”
“You can hardly imagine that I and Lord Bracknell would dream of allowing our only daughter - a girl brought up with the utmost care - to marry into a cloak-room, and form an alliance with a parcel?” (This is one of those you-had-to-be-there moments to fully appreciate.)
As Jack Worthing says of this character: “She’s a perfect gorgon. At any rate, she’s a monster without being a myth, which isn’t fair.” I think I could be a pretty good gorgon.
Vargas in Touch of Evil. No way I couldn’t be better than Heston, even though I am quite pale, there are very white Mexicans and a DA would be fine as such.
I would wipe out a whole battalion of SS troopers if I could play Major Reisman in The Dirty Dozen. When I saw that movie in 1967, I marveled at the selection of uniforms they gave Lee Marvin to wear. My own collection of militaria paled in comparison!
If they ever make a feature film based on Combat!, I want to play Sgt Saunders, just so I can wear a camouflaged helmet and carry a Thompson. :o
Phil Davis in White Christmas, mostly because I’d get to sing, dance and just hang around with Vera Ellen. Or Hubert Hawkins in The Court Jester, because Glynis Johns.
