Which of these acts of infidelity would you find easiest to forgive?

[Asimovian]

@Asimovian

I’m willing to start the poll. I’ll link when it’s open.

I took a stab at it.

[TWDuke]

@Thudlow_Boink

But nobody’s said that; that’s a strawman.

OK, then, help me out. What does this mean: “They haven’t shared so much as a kiss or an innuendo, but they’ve spent many hours being EMOTIONALLY intimate–sharing their hopes, dreams, fears, regrets, etc, in ways your spouse believes she or he should only do with you.”

@markm

Yeah, guy here, too, and as I said upthread, before I experienced it, I thought it was just some silly thing. Having actually experienced it, it sucks. To have someone effectively shut you out of their life and share everything with someone else is simply no fun.

@Shot_From_Guns

There’s a difference between “having a very close relationship with a member of the gender you’re attracted to, but is not your spouse/SO” and “having a very close relationship with a member of the gender you’re attracted to, to the extent that you’re excluding your spouse/SO and shutting them out of your life.”

“Shutting them out of your life” is not in the poll. Is it assumed that someone can only be emotionally open with one person at a time, or not?

[Shot_From_Guns]

@TWDuke

“Shutting them out of your life” is not in the poll. Is it assumed that someone can only be emotionally open with one person at a time, or not?

It’s implicit in the idea of an emotional affair. You’re not just connecting with someone other than your spouse; you’re connecting with someone other than your spouse *to the exclusion of *your spouse. Otherwise it just becomes a “you have a close friend” option, which isn’t infidelity at all. (At least **Skald **doesn’t strike me as the creepy controlling type to see it as such.)