Which species will you uplift?

Uplifting chimps won’t end well

Cats, because I want to know what is going on when they sit bolt upright and stare wide eyed at nothing.

I figure it is probably something like, “You painted the kitchen * yellow?* Good God man, the appliances are electric white!”

I said “Other” because I’d prefer just the Bonobos. They are less agressive than chimps, and eat a mostly plant-based diet (although still omnivorous). They are not predators like the common chimps, who would be absolutely deadly and probably exterminate us, or cause us to extermiante them, if they had more intelligence.

Bonobos are also Matriarchal. The only real reason I see to uplift would be for the purpose of creating alternate mates. If we could mix with a physically stronger species, and gain the muscle strength and immune system benefits without losing intelligence, that would be a major advantage.

I agree that the physical limitations of most species would make intelligence more of a handicap than a help.

Some ailurophile would build a can opener that didn’t require opposable thumbs to operate, and then it’s game over for humanity.

Sharks don’t Uplift well either…

Exactly why we should uplift them!
They’ve got to be able to figure out that they still need us to fill the cans.
:slight_smile:

The Vorta.

I came here to say this also. Fellow Otterian!

Yes, so I went with dolphins too. Plus, they have capabilities most different from humans (ok, so do octopi,but their lifespans are so short, and insects, but short lifespans and yeuggh).

I voted for dogs. Frankly, I’d be too scared to give it to cats. Dogs would be kind of funny and they’re so friendly anyway.

I completely missed dolphins though and that would be an interesting choice.

Outside of those three, the rest are boring.

I voted chimps.

Hey, it’s one of my favorite movies, whaddya’ want?

Said dolphins. Cats already watch you having sex and crapping, I wouldn’t want to talk to them about it afterwards. I would consider uplifting octopuses so they can crush anyone who misspells the plural of their race. :wink:

Yes, this. It seems near inevitable that if one of these animals were almost as smart as humans but not quite they’d immediately be enslaved, with the added cruelty of them being smart enough to know and resent it, unlike current work animals.

Now, if we were talking about just making them a bit smarter instead, dogs and cats would be cool. Make them smart enough to understand the dangers of cars and a lot of problems would be solved.

You will be on the list when the Octopod revolution begins.

Spelling will be the precipitant of the first Great War of the Mollusks.

I voted cats for selfish reasons…

House cats are social animals, creatures of habit, and very much dislike change. They’d be too much like Humans. Humans with razor sharp teeth and claws.

Dogs are heirarchical pack animals. We don’t want to deal with The Revolt of the Canine Legions.

Horses? Already very smart, but no.

I went with Dolphins, but I don’t think it’s a solid plan.

Octopii? Great. Until they start reading HP Lovecraft and thinking it is a documentary of their ancestors or a model for their future. Think that’s bad? You don’t want to know what happens when they find out about Japanese tentacle porn.

Insects? OH FUCK NO.

Chimps? No, we know that doesn’t end well.

When octopuses mate, Mister Octopus hands over a sperm packet to Ms. Octopus. It appears much more civilized than the way we mammals do it. I suspect they would find tentacle porn mortifying in the extreme. On the plus side, a blushing octopus would be a sight to behold.

My dog knows too much about me I don’t trust what they could do if they became intelligent.

Cats are murderous bastards as it is I can’t imagine giving them intelligence to kill larger prey.

I never cared for Mr. Ed and don’t see the point of intelligent horses.

We already have intelligent chimps they’re called humans. I don’t see any point in creating a second version of humans.

Intelligent insects would over throw us with their sheer numbers I have no urge to wipeout mankind.

The sea creatures bring interesting things to the table. They can go places that humans can’t and help to change more of the world. Dolphins really don’t bring muchto the table. Since they still need to breathe air they are limited to similar depths to humans and without any means of using tools outside of their mouths really can’t build or improve their environment. Octopi on the other hand can grasp tools and go places tha people can’t. Them being killing machines is a bit of a problem but they can be avoided by staying out of the ocean so even if they revolt we can still survive.

Lots of people are saying this but men are stronger than dogs. Dog owners successfully set up a relationship with their pets in which they are the alpha. Dogs also crave attention from their owners or maybe even people in general. Making them smarter and able to talk wont change any of this.

Insects - It’s already their world and we just live on it. Why give it over to them entirely?

Dogs - No way. We’ve committed horrible crimes against the once noble canis lupis, and there’s no way in hell I’m giving near-human intelligence to a species with such a justifiable reason to hold a grudge and those teeth.

Horses - See Dogs, but with getting kicked in the head instead of bitten/eaten.

Cats - Meh, not a cat person. I don’t see them as useful companions even if they had human intelligence.

Chimps - Unlikely. As noted Chimp society is pretty raw and aggressive. They need more time to grow out of that. Plus, what can they do that we can’t? I think if we’re going to have a companion species, it should be one with abilities we don’t possess. We bred horses and dogs from their ancestral forms because they supplemented our needs. What does an intelligent chimp add that a second human doesn’t?

Birds - This is a strong contender. There’s a reason Odin had his Ravens, and who can forget the turkey who saved crop seeds during the great flooding of the old world? They bring numerous things mankind doesn’t have, including a very different reproductive system and social structure, not to mention the power of flight. They will always have a different perspective on things than the ground-bound humans will. On the other hand, they’re dying out like mad because of pollution, climate change, and human development. They’re extremely fragile, and due to their metabolism and demands of flying tend to spend all their time in pursuit of caloric intake. We could overcome some of those for them with better food, but then we’d end up with fat, mouthy pigeons. And really, who needs that?

Octopus - No.

Dolphins - My personal pick. Not only do they bring numerous talents we don’t possess(echolocation primary among them), but their temperament seems more conducive to being a companion of mankind instead of a competitor.

Enjoy,
Steven