I just saw a promo on NBC announcing that Matt Lauer will be doing the first interview with Jon Corzine. When Hugh Grant got caught with a hooker, he went on Leno.
Suppose you got caught up in some kind of brouhaha that caught the public’s imagination. I’m not talking anything massively criminal – just … not ideal. Embarrassing. It is, for whatever reason, a good idea for you to get out there and dance the mea-culpa boogie. The network anchors are all hot to talk to you, plus Oprah, Dave, Jay, and Larry.
Um, I think Dave Letterman would be decent about the whole thing. I lurve Craig Ferguson, but he may be on too late at night for it to be “official” in the minds of the meta-press (the press who watch the press). Jimmy Kimmel would be OK, but I’d prefer my first appearance on his show to be under better auspices.
Along those lines, Larry King, as #2 and #3 stay the same, while his lack of any sort of knowledge would allow me to make up anything I wish without challenge.
If he isn’t available, it goes to whomever will write the largest check and let me make the strangest demands (“Yes, Mr. Williams, the clown suit is necessary”)
Pat Kiernan, who is the morning anchor for the New York local all-news channel. I have had a mad crush on Pat Kiernan for years. I probably wouldn’t even be able to do the interview because I’d be too busy swooning over him. Enough about me, Pat, let’s talk about you.
That or Oprah. because I’m a sixteen-year-old girl and if anyone could twist whatever thing I had done into a sob story that makes me look like some brave kid who deserves sympathy more than derision, it’s Oprah.
It also depends on what it was that had happened. Like if I did something bad or less-than-ladylike, then I’d certainly go for Oprah or Barbara.
If I had done something good or been the victim of something bad, I’d go for Jon Stewart and then I guess Jay Leno, because I’m not really into the whole cooing-over-the-amazing-girl bit unless I’d be hated without it. Plus I like Jon Stewart.