In these threads there is always an unstated assumption that going mano a mano completely unarmed is the most “natural” state of affairs, to which I call bull. Humans have been using pointy sticks for tens of thousands if not hundreds of thousands of years.
So I’d vote for any martial art which enables you to bash it in or impale it with any blunt or sharp wooden object you can find lying around. It’s what the cavemen would have done.
That’s why we gotta’ outsmart the little bastards! Chimp porn for males, and Berry White for the females…that should even work on The Planet of the Apes…Hazza!
This bit of dialog between Mr. Miyagi and Daniel says a lot:
Daniel: Hey - you ever get into fights when you were a kid?
Miyagi: Huh - plenty.
Daniel: Yeah, but it wasn’t like the problem I have, right?
Miyagi: Why? Fighting fighting. Same same.
Daniel: Yeah, but you knew karate.
Miyagi: Someone always know more.
Daniel: You mean there were times when you were scared to fight?
Miyagi: Always scare. Miyagi hate fighting.
Daniel: Yeah, but you like karate.
Miyagi: So?
Daniel: So, karate’s fighting. You train to fight.
Miyagi: That what you think?
Daniel: [pondering] No.
Miyagi: Then why train?
Daniel: [thinks] So I won’t have to fight.
Miyagi: [laughs] Miyagi have hope for you.
Conclusion: don’t fight the Chimp
Miyagi also say “best defense, don’t be there”
It’s not a matter of natural, just of keeping the fight more interesting. A suitably armed human could kill just about anything.
In this case, though, having learned how… effective … chimps could be, it probably would be more interesting to arm the human.
Clearly, the military needs to start developing its own cadre of specially trained ninja chimpanzees.
Are we all assuming that a kick to the head or whatnot is going to be completely ineffective, or is there info on how rugged chimps are?
They have thicker skulls and smaller brains than humans, I think they’d be pretty hard to knock out, I bet harder than knocking out a person. Plus, they’re fast and they’re going to try to close with you so they can devour your face, so you probably only get one kick before it’s on you.
but what if the females are immune to the sweet soulful sounds of the Acai of Love?
Surely better than grappling, right?
Knocking out a person isn’t necessarily all that difficult though. So “unlikely to knock out a chimp in one shot” is better than “it’s not even worth trying because you’re dead.”
I doubt I could get a research grant to tie up a chimp and try to kick it unconscious…
Chimps have the capacity to use many of the primitive blunt tools (heavy branch, hand held stone) as weapons, the same as us, they just don’t do it “naturally”.Like this zoo chimp did.
Bash one in the face with a rock and I bet it would learn pretty fast to rip it out of your hand - or just rip your hand off with the rock in it - and bash you back in the face. And then to eat your face.
I always go unarmed, but as a Doper, I always have a friend handy, and my friend is a “Monkey With A Gun”.
I avoid non-human animals for this reason. And I’m pretty careful around homo sapiens too, as most people murders are committed by homo sapiens.
But seriously, do not start a fight with a chimp, even a bonobo, because you will get your ass kicked, face ripped off, fingers eaten, and the chimp will like it.
Then, once again, we’re fu**ed, or make sure it’s a male and be armed and ready!
why do people avoid mentioning guns, knives and long hardwood sticks when talking about self-defense? we immediately think of guns when discussing ripley’s aliens, don’t we?
Probably because the OP requested “UNARMED martial art”.
obviously, i’m asking the OP.
Of course you can’t knock it out. Your aim should be to cause pain and damage to surface tissue like eyes and ears. And that one kick before it’s on you is better than nothing, because I think that a chimp is at a strong advantage in close combat like wrestling and grappling.
I’m not saying that there’s an effective way to fight a chimp. I think a human is at a severe disadvantage. However, the OP asked what would be most effective, and I think that a martial art that focused on kicking it in the face is your best bet. Failing that, a knowledge of chimp anatomy and a sense of its weaker points would be valuable; breaking a kneecap or equivalent might improve your chances of staying out of that grappling match.
Because prior to reading that article I mentioned earlier, I had no idea chimps were so deadly. I figured arming the human would be too great an advantage and unsportsmanlike. Obviously, I now think otherwise 
Maybe it is possible to take out the chimp on the first strike. That seems like the only hope in fighting it instead of running away- the fighter does that break-board-in-half thing on it’s skull one second before it gets a hand on his nuts.
I bet Xena could take out a chimp. She is said to have the strength of 10 men.
I don’t think there’s much that’ll help.
As soon as the chimp gets hold of any part of you it’s all going to be over. Kik it in the head? Sure, maybe, but if he manages to grab your ankle you’re done. And given their size, I don’t fancy you getting a clean strike anyway.