Seconded.
And also why you rarely see shit on the front rim- it’s been wiped clean by dangling dongles.
Oh my god.
I don’t think I can ever give another blow job again.
No kidding. This ranks right up there with ‘shrinkage.’ I don’t know how you guys walk around with those things.
That’s what I came in here to say:eek:
If Seinfeld had run another season I’m sure there would have been an episode where Jerry had to get circumcised because it touched the toilet.
Most toilets will accommodate guys but there are the errant models that got past consumer focus groups that require the user to keep parts from touching.
Look what you’ve done boys! :mad: Get in here and fix this.
I hate to say, this exact question has been on my mind lately. It used to take me about 2 minutes to do my business, but I guess I’m getting to that age where I like to linger and take a break, and I’ve found it nearly impossible to read or work a sudoku because I have one hand committed to holding my johnson so it doesn’t catch the ick. And lord, if you hold it wrong and pee a little, you better hope it’s not pointed anywhere above the base of the rim. Too many edges and flat areas, it could go anywhere.
Heck, I haven’t even mastered reading by itself, let alone coordinated it with my pecker. If I hold the book up my arms go to sleep, but if I rest my elbows on my legs, my legs go to sleep. There’s so much coordination required, I’m sticking to the quick release.
I mean, I guess so, but it’s just some dangly things (which most women have a couple of) that gets a little shorter and longer from time to time. It’s not like you have to think about it, you just kind of get used to it. You sure as fuck don’t have to think about it to the extent of “Hey, my body’s about to drip blood for 5 days. Better either shove this tube in me or find my mini-diapers.”
I still think we’re on the not too bad side of bodily annoyances.
NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOoooooo. Uhhm, yeah, it was all a lie. A scurrilous, nasty falsehood that I made up to look cooler. I mean, penises don’t grow. That would be ridiculous. Do snakes change length 13 times a day? Yeah, I didn’t think so. Preposterous. Men hover above toilets (wait, wait, hover technology not yet invented, think man, THINK)-- uh, they don’t even have toilets in men’s bathrooms. We’ve all been provided with star trek transport technology to beam out bodily waste directly into septic tanks. We were going to tell you earlier, but the aliens that gave it to us built in technology to the devices that make us forget about using them after each use. I only remembered because I burped, farted, and sneezed at the same time.
Perfectly reasonable, right??
did they buy it? are blowjobs safe again?
BTW, you can’t give a blowjob, but sex is just fine?
Wow. I am one twisted fella, and I’ve never thought of this question before. I honestly couldn’t recall if I did or not, so I went and checked. I think I usually let it dangle, but porcelain contact didn’t really freak me out. My toilet lid is pretty clean, and I’m sure the shit-water particle spray that gets shot up and rests all over the nether regions is 1000x worse than any brief porcelain contact. Why some of the guys here are freaking out so much is beyond me.
The hand is always there for support and accuracy while pissing. I once pissed underneath the seat and out onto the floor. By accident, of course.
I have a related question, do people flush while in the seated position?
I always make sure I am finished and flush once I’m off of the seat. I think it’s pretty sick knowing that the pissNshit water will be splashing up from under me.
Oh, that reminds me of the time back in college when a group of us were talking and the topic somehow detoured to the subject of taking a double-stream piss. The guys in the group were saying, “Yeah, I hate it when that happens.” The women in the group stared at us, bug-eyed, wondering what in the hell we were talking about.
As to the question put forth by the OP: ew, ew, ew, ew, ew. The hand on the dingus. At least I know where it’s been.
To be able to receive future blow-jobs, I choose not to answer this question.
But I must admit I hadn’t really thought about it until now.
Two dudes are walking over the Golden Gate Bridge, when one has to take a leak, so they both hang 'em over the side.
“Man, that water’s cold!”
“Deep, too.”
I do everything I can to keep my dick from touching the bowl, but it’s mostly an automatic manipulative action I don’t think about. I poo in public toilets every day, and just the idea of wiping my defensless knob with someone else’s urine, bacteria and viri freaks me out. Yes, most bowls I sit on are small enough to prevent “just sitting back enough”.
Toilet bowls aren’t very dangerous, I hear, but a busy public (university) restroom sees hundreds of dicks and anuses every day (there’s always someone there when I go). Piss gets squirted around, E. coli multiplies etc. And it’s a statistical fact that a good portion of the myriad users have an infection or STD of some sort.
You know, I imagine this also has to do with the flaccid length of each individual’s member.
Ew, ew, ew, no, still not okay.
Sex? Well, I figure the nether regions are designed to handle that sort of thing, although of course prior anal or visible feces on the Johnson (mine or anyone else’s) is grounds to close the Howard. But even at microscopic amounts, oral ingestion of coliform bacteria is just not good.
I either lay it across my lap or throw it over my shoulder.
I’ve got a solution! Showers!
Must take showers with lots of soap and hot water! We’ll do a thorough washing of each others bodies, then we can have blow jobs and sex.
Hell, if everyone is still nervous, we can just have blow jobs and sex in the shower.
No need to thank me, I love solving problems like this.
In our old house we replaced all of the round bowls with the elongated kind to avoid this exact problem. With the elongated bowl, there’s plenty of room for the junk to dangle freely and unencumbered by porcelain. In the new house, we haven’t gotten around to it yet. Why do they even make those round bowls? They’re pointless.
At work they seem to all be the elongated bowls.
Although I’d say 50% of the time I do have to hold it up so it doesn’t droop into the water.
Oh- to the OP: “doo-doo’ing”? Seriously?