where is the rolling around laughing smiley …
But I like the lava lamp idea …
As I’ve said before, I swear that toilets were designed by women. They don’t work well for taking a leak, they don’t make provisions for Mr. Happy when you’re sitting down — whether flaccid or hard — and don’t even get any of us started on the “seat up or down” thing.
Multiple stream urination is annoying. You can avoid it if you make a habit of “clearing the muzzle” before firing in high-risk situations (morning, after sex, if you’ve been excited during the day).
I usually keep one hand down there for aiming purposes when I’m on the toilet. Nothing sucks more than accidentally pissing all over the back of your own pants because your dick was pointing in the wrong direction at the wrong time. The toilet in my house is rather small and round, and I have hit the bowl under the rim even though I am a grower.
This is going to be in for serious contention in the “do you want that listed as the cause of death on your death certificate” list 
Sorry…I have a bathroom floor that is pretty damn smooth and doing this would likely cause me to bounce my head off of the toilet as my feet slipped out from under me.
Holy crap, you’re absolutely right. I used to have a roommate who would regularly leave Hershey kisses on the back of the toilet seat, which I could never understand. Now I know why (doesn’t make him any less of a dirtbag).
I have peed on my own balls. Figure that one out.
I have also had otherwise perfect pees that divert at the last second to squirt my pants.
And after sex, I’ve had anywhere from 3 distinct streams to a flat fan pattern piss.
I’ve solved both the penis resting against the inside of the bowl and the double stream problem.I just pee in the sink.
My partner is ***very ***tall, ***very ***thin, and ***very ***hung, and he usually lets it rest over the top of the seat. Any other position, it winds up slipping into the water, which can be very cold. The problem, though, is if he also has to pee. He can’t just point it down like a hose, since it can be painful peeing when it’s bent. So he has to stand up and pee normally, then sit down again. But then there might be a drop or two still on his dick, so he has to point it down toward the water, and shake.
He also has a problem with his balls. If they’re warm enough, and if the water level is high enough, they can reach the water. So he has to hold them up in front with one hand.
I’ve actually watched him do all of this, at times when his balls were low, the water was high, and he had to pee. He has turned it into an art.
This was me reading your post: “Why would anyone leave candy in a toilet bowl? ::thinks about it for a a few seconds:: Ooooohh… I get it.”
A lot of Seinfeld references today…I’m going to throw another one out there…
Elaine: I don’t know how you guys walk around with those things.
Psst. See post #24. 
Incidentally, this is one of the major benefits of being uncircumcised that I don’t think I’ve ever heard mentioned. I don’t think I’ve ever had a problem with uncontrollable streams, double or otherwise.
Also, how do you circumcised guys pee when you have an erection? Some kind of strange contortions? Standing on the toilet rim? Sniper-like aim from across the room?
Why would circumcision make a difference?
The foreskin is very stretchy and flexible, so it serves to dampen the pressure from the stream. Its hole also has a much larger diameter, so the stream is larger. Basically, you have the same rate of total flow, but the pressure is much less.
On a related, note, teaching an uncircumcised toddler to pee standing up without peeing all over the walls is not too difficult. The bigger problem is that the pressure can be reduced so much they end up dribbling on the rim of the bowl.
Speaking of which, if you’re in the men’s room, it’s not too hard to figure out who’s circumcised based strictly on the sound, especially if they’re using a stall (standing up) rather than a urinal.
I can’t say I ever imagined having this discussion on a message board… 
Sort of crouch over the bowl and aim the penis at 6:00 (straight down!)
Hate to tank your theory, but I’m uncut.
Well that explains this:
U.S. Blowjobless Rate At All-Time High
Toilets have always been an issue with me from an older age… As a young boy all was ok as I would have a guard in front of my penis as I urinated. As I grew I found that that standing at a urinal was the best but with issues as well. Sitting down was far better to pee. Going out and drinking as we know the first pee it sort of the start to having to pee lots… so I held back as long as I could.
So… many time when sitting of the seat my small penis would pee though the gap of the seat and porcelain toilet. once I got my jean very wet and had to leave. being uncut is a issue. when standing at the toilet or urinals it was a hard job getting it out. I have had many embarrassing times.
I now put the seat up and sit on the porcelain toilet as it allows my tiny penis to sort of drop as much as it can with its size. it would never touch the front and I find I have better control. I do remove my jeans and undies and hang them up if the door has a hook. out side on the grass is also a normal thing I do when I come home and no one is home… even then it is better to undress…
From an early age I have been shaved clean…it helps as well as when I have had a few to drink and I unzip I can find it easier…
this is all very true and I know my limits…:dubious:
I would post a picture but don’t knw if this is a site that would allow that. I do post on others to help and show…
My size: 2.5 inch soft and erect 3.5 inch. very tight close balls as well. If looks very undeveloped and many say looks boyish…
What? Are you sitting sidesaddle or something? Most guys I know have their “dingus” between their legs and not on one side or other. The average width of the porcelain throne is about a foot so I figure you are either sitting sidesaddle or your pickle is built like a dog’s hind leg.
lol
I figured out how E. T. got such a long neck and bulging, big eyes. Either the lid fell when he was peeing or he caught it in zipper.