Oh, well, that certainly refutes what I wrote. If a guy stepped out of the Oval Office and told a Secret Service agent “I’m not the secret ruler of the world. But I work for him. So I’m ordering you to go in and shoot the President.” that would sound like a completely reasonable order and would be obeyed.
So where is Illuminati Island? It must have a physical location. Is it in the Atlantic or the Pacific? Or maybe the Mediterranean? I’m curious because I want to look it up on Google Maps and Wikipedia and see what it says.
It must have an entry something like, “Mysterious island in the middle of the ocean. Doesn’t have a name. Doesn’t have any history. There are huge mansions and castles on this island and boats and planes travel in and out of here all the time but you can’t buy a ticket to go there. Nobody lives here. There are especially no ninjas living here. Don’t ask questions.”
See, these people are vastly wealthy. But they aren’t wealthy because they own businesses or land or diamond mines. They’re wealthy because they’re wealthy. They just have money, the money doesn’t come from anywhere, it isn’t invested anywhere. Regular schmoes like Bill Gates and Warren Buffet and the Walton family and the Rothschilds and the Sultan of Brunei are rich because they own vastly profitable businesses. The Illuminati are rich because they’re rich, they don’t own businesses, when they need money they just call up Bill Gates and order him to send more to his masters.
Likewise they control the government, but not by holding offices. They aren’t even political donors or party fatcats or fixers. No, when they want the president to start a war they don’t call the president like regular chumps do, instead they call people who call people who call the president. And if the president doesn’t obey, they call a guy who calls a guy who calls a guy, and the president ends up with his brains splattered all over his wife’s new frock.
Likewise, they don’t influence public opinion by running media corporations. Instead the heads of media corporations work for them. Except the heads of the media corporations are just regular schmoes, the Illuminati don’t soil themselves by dealing directly with such peons. Instead, they call people who call people who call people, and next thing you know Oprah “retires”.
But what I don’t get is, how do the powerful people that the public knows about–the Barack Obamas, Bill Gateses, Oprah Winfreys, Karl Roves, Pope Benedicts–when they get a call from the secret masters, or rather, when they get a call from the servants of the secret masters, how do they know to obey? Like, it’s Obama’s first day in office, and someone takes him aside and tells him that whenever he gets a “suggestion” from Old Chauncey, the venerable white house gardener, he better ask how high? And Obama believes this because…why exactly? Or is it that nobody gets close to the reins of power without knowing about the Illuminati–not who they are of course, but that there are Illuminati and they must be obeyed, and you can tell when you’ve gotten an order from the Illuminati because…well, you just can.
I mean, the problem with secret power is that people aren’t scared of you. And if you’ve got a private army of security guards at your palatial estate, and a private jet gassed up and waiting at the airport, and so on, who exactly does your private army/security detail think you are? A random rich guy they’ve never heard of? But these guys don’t show up on the Forbes list, the guys at Forbes know not to list them. But how do the guys at Forbes know to list Bill Gates and the Sultan of Brunei, but not Mr. [redacted]? There has to be a gruff old editor who can tell the wet-behind-the-ears cub reporter that Mr [Redacted] doesn’t exist. OK, that makes sense. But how does the gruff old editor know that Mr [Redacted] is supposed to stay off the list? I guess he gets a call from the snooty publisher. And the snooty publisher knows this because…? He was in Skull and Bones at Yale with Mr. [Redacted], Mr. [Redacted] is a good friend of his? But I thought the Illuminati didn’t mingle with the hoi polloi at declasse places like Yale, or the White House, or Number 10 Downing Street.
Atlantis.
I assume you’re joking but this illustrates my point. If there’s a mysterious island in the middle of the Atlantic how does it remain mysterious? When planes and ships cross the Atlantic and see an unnamed island, how do you stop the passengers and crew from reported it? A new undiscovered island? That would be a big deal.
No doubt, the conspiracy people will say it’s covered. “They” just tell ships and planes to avoid the area. But how would that work? Does the ship’s owner tell the captain “By the way, when you’re crossing the Atlantic, I want you to turn north when you get to Lat 32/15 and Long 65/46. Sail north for a hundred miles and then turn east and sail east for a hundred miles. Then turn south and sail south for a hundred miles. Then you can turn east back on to your original course. No reason. It’s just a little whim of mine.”?
And when the captain realizes he’s being told this same thing every time he sails through this area, you think he won’t notice? Especially, when he talks about it and finds out the owner is telling all of his other ship captains the same thing. And then they ask around and find out that all the ship owners give their captains the same orders. And if the captains don’t ask, the executive officers and the navigators and the ordinary crewmen are also going to notice they always avoid this same area of the ocean for no apparent reason. And of course, somebody had to talk to the ship owners themselves to convince them there was a good reason why they should detour all their ships away from one part of the ocean.
How long do you think this would go on before somebody says, “Screw this. I’m going to sail right into the middle of that place everyone’s avoiding and find out what’s there.”
The answer, obviously, is the ninjas kill him. And they kill all of the other crews that try to go there. And a mysterious spot in the middle of the ocean which everyone is told to avoid and everyone who goes there disappears somehow attracts no public attention.
Force fields!
Memory erasing beams. These guys live in Atlantis, they can do that shit.
Absolutely. Even NASA found out that it was easier to actually send astronauts to the moon than to fake it perfectly.
Nah, only 9 billion of them.
It’s all about the races. Not races as in groups, races as in racing for the finish line. Vonnegut knew.
“My boy,” he said, "you are descended from a long line of determined, resourceful, microscopic tadpoles-- champions every one.”
[QUOTE=Maynard G. Krebs]
WORK!!?
[/QUOTE]
I’m with this guy.