Recently I was riding on the bus going home and MAN I had to go!!! Well I sat there suffering and waiting and suffering.
So the next time I find myself in such an unlucky situation I need to know if some civilization somewhere on this planet has a god or goddess of defecation and or urination. I figure those two ‘activities’ are as important to life as sex so there must be at least one, right?!?!
Here’s a site that talks about Roman gods and goddesses of such things. Unfortunately it is 4 a.m. and I am in no shape to figure out if this is satire or not.
http://www.freespeech.org/amygdala/articles/religion/holyshit.htm
I’ve come across the goddess Cloacina before, and have no reason to doubt any of the others on the site.
There’s probably a patron saint, if you want to get a little more up to date. So far, the closest I’ve found is St. Fiacre, patron saint of gardeners and hemorrhoid sufferers. Perhaps someone with a deeper knowledge of hagiology can help us here?
You can just pray to Jesus. According to Rudolf Steiner, Jesus was part of a sect that had certain peculiar doctrines about “esoteric excretion.” His sect believed that one should always cover up one’s excreted crap with dirt, so as not to offend god by allowing one’s filth to be visible to Him from his perch in heaven. Supposedly they carried little consecrated scoops to scoop up sand for covering the turd piles.