Most of my life I always saw some fat guy in the mirror. Years later, I look at old photos of myself, and wonder “Who’s that handsome guy? How come I never saw him in the mirror?”
I’ve finally decided that I shall believe I am handsome, despite what I see in the mirror. This does not mean I will fall in love with myself, just that I will stop worrying over what I look like. I’ve determined to act as though I look better than I give myself credit for.
This will not be easy. Just this week, I shaved my chin and started growing mutton chops. I looked in the mirror when I was done shaving, and I swear, if I had gray hair and a Dutch-boy haircut, I’d look like Captain Kangaroo. I suppose if I’ve got to resemble a celebrity, I could do worse. After all, who wants to look like Theodore Kaczynski?
Good Mornin’ Captain!
Just kidding. I personally don’t own a full-length mirror, and I only get the “I’m fat” feeling when I get weighed at the doctors or when I’m trying on clothes. Lately my self-esteem has been good, so when I look in the mirror I usually see a happy face with a confident look.
That is so true for so many people. I have no idea why we feel that we can’t like what we see in the mirror or feel so bad about ourselves we can’t accept it.
I spent my summer training a Sr A baseball team. They were mostly guys my age and we played guys my age. Hanging out with guys and getting to understand them better really helped my self-esteem and confidence. I say listen every time a guy honks or whistles (My favorite was “hey, can we trade trainers”). I don’t take these as derogatory comments, I see that someone noticed me, someone thinks I am worth a honk, and i love it. Listen to the positives other people send you, it makes it a lot easier to see the beautiful person in the mirror.
I used to see a chubby dork in the mirror… of course, at the time, I was a chubby dork. I think I’ve really changed going through college, alot more confident in myself, be it personality, looks, abilities, whatever. I still can’t stand most pictures of me, but sometimes I’ll look in the mirror now and say “Man, I’m not too bad…” Doesn’t hurt that I’ve got a handful of girls at college who refuse to call me Tim. My name, to them, is Cutie or Hotstuff or something like that.
Actually, I sort of have the opposite problem. I’ve always thought I looked fine, but apparently (more than apparently) the rest of the world just sees a fat chick. Now a middle-aged fat chick. Sigh.
I used to have difficulty seeing myself as a real person when I looked in the mirror if I wasn’t wearing makeup. That seems to have changed and I wear a lot less of it now. I look at pictures of myself as a teenager and think, “What’s that goop all over my face?”
This is a very interesting questions for me, because it is only in the past year that I have finally been able to see myself as other people see me. A lot of this was due to losing a lot of weight (here’s my before and during pics), but that’s only part of it.
When I was growing up, I was a klutz - no athletic ability whatsoever (which is still true to this day - that’s why I left weights - little physical coordination needed). For some reason I transferred the lack of athletic ability to a self-image of fat and unattractive. There were other factors as well, but this was a major one. I was definitely not fat (that came much later in life), but I always thought I was, partially because I was not, nor will a ever be, a delicate waif. People have a hard time believing that I had major self-esteem issues about how I looked, because I have always had a lot of self-confidence in other areas.
So in the past year I have finally started to not only not mind, but actually get a kick out of, getting looked up and down by men. I used to be embarrassed when guys looked me in the chest; now I am just amused. And I am finally able to take a compliment gracefully, at least most of the time.
Sometimes in my mind’s eye I still see myself at 215 lbs, but now more often than not when I look in the mirror, I think “I look pretty good.” At least in clothes. I don’t know if I’ll ever think I look good naked. So finally, at age 35, I have a relatively healthy body image.
So finally, at age 35, I have a relatively healthy body image.