I learned this comedy routine from a priest (of all people!) and laughed my ass off all that day, and all the next day. It’s even funnier told in “dialect,” with perfect timing. The priest thinks the routine may be 30 years old. Does anybody know where it came from?
THE ITALIAN WHO WENT TO NEW YORK.
One day Ima go to New York to a bigga hotel. I go down to eat soma breakfast. I tella the waitress I wanna two piss toast. She branga me only wona piss. I tella her I wanna two piss, she say go to the toilet, I say you no understand. I wanna two piss on my plate. She say you better not piss on the plate you sonna ma Bitch! I don’t even know the lady and she calla me sonna ma Bitch.
Later, I go to eat soma lunch at Emma’s Restaurant, the waitress bringa me a spoon, ana knife, but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tellsa me everybody wanna fock. I tella her, you no understand, I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table. You sonna Ma Bitch. I don’t even know the lady and she call me a sonna Ma Bitch.
So I go back to my room inna hotel, an there’s no sheet on my bed. I calla the manager ana tell him I wanna sheet. He tells me to go to the toilet. So I say you no understand, I wanna sheet on the bed. He say you better not sheet on the bed, you sonna Ma Bitch. I don’t even know the man ana he call me sonna Ma Bitch.
I go to check out and the man at the desk, he say peace to you. I say piss onna you too, you sonna Ma Bitch.
I go back to Italy!!