Maybe this will clear things up a bit more: You are replying to someone who hasn’t posted here in over two years.
Damn. I don’t usually fail to note zombies.
Don’t feel bad. It went 7 posts before anyone said anything. That’s gotta be a record! 
I hope she found someone who makes her happy.
I think the disparity in responses to speed-dating described above might be explained by intended outcomes. There could be a difference in the question the two sexes are asking when they enter the encounter.
IOW, a majority of women may be asking themselves “Could I see myself married to this guy?” while a majority of guys may be asking themselves “Could I see myself having sex with this woman?” There could also be an element of disparity in what brought them there. The women may have found themselves with opportunities, but not with the “right” kind of guys. Whereas the men may just be trying to increase their number of opportunities.
I’m not advocating for these answers, just suggesting that the reasons are probably far more complicated.
IME at parties etc. the guys who get the most interest are the ones who smile and laugh the most. Women are attracted to happy men over ripped or wealthy men.
And yet…
I suspect that it’s - in part - a self-perpetuating vicious cycle.
Women expect to get more hits, so they can afford to be more discriminating upfront. Men expect to get fewer hits, so they need to be more flexible upfront.
This would explain how it came about to begin with. But it would magnify the phenomenon once it got started.
[There’s a video on YouTube about a female bear trying to attract a mate. She made contact and headed off expecting him to follow. But when he didn’t - the narrator said it was a young and inexperienced male - she turned around and went back, and got more direct and hands-on this time.]
“Amateurs” in when it comes to cyber pick ups can be predictable. Women tend to lie about their age, skin tone, weight, financial condition. Men lie about their height, assets and recurring income, their car. But if they’re still communicating in the cyber universe and talk turns to sex, or meeting up to have sex, both suddenly become very truthful.
“I’m kinda chubby, is that OK?”
“Sorry, I sold my car last month.”
I’ve always heard that smiling men are seen as less attractive, at least sexually (which is kinda the goal here). Seems to be my experience, too. Lonely men will often get advice (“smile more”) that makes them less attractive.
Meh. Make 'em laugh and you’re halfway there.
With respect to dating I have found that
Women in their 20’s are all over the place and just want to have fun.
Women over 40 have their lives more organised and know what they want and don’t want.
Women in their 30’s are a nightmare. Lots of dealbreakers. Full of insecurities, lists, crises and doubts. Dating is sold to them in the same way as a boutique shopping experience and the way they assess men matches that. The preposition seems to be that they are desirable and of high value and they deserve a perfect man to provide them with the lifestyle and security they crave. They find such a man by critical evaluation and assessment of various signs of worth and status derived from their appearance, conversation and manners at the dinner table in a fancy restaurant.
Conversely men are not at all keen on being inspected, judged or tested by strange women who think rather highly of themselves. Unless, of course, they see it is as challenge, like aceing a job interview. The type of man that is good at this game is a salesman who understands very well how to address the superficial concerns of not very bright customers.
I don’t know who invented this dating business, some say it was a Hollywood invention. But it does seem like it is a game for vain, very shallow people. Fine for entertainment, an evening can be full of flirting and fun. But it should not be taken seriously.
I have had some very fun evenings going to dating events. Once you are over 30 the power balance between the genders begins to swing from women having the advantage to men being in short supply, which makes it a lot for fun for a man. Suddenly, as a single man, you are in demand!