Back when I was single I tried speed dating a number of times. It was cheap and fun. I was early for the second one and struck up a conversation with the organizer and mentioned I’d gotten no hits on the first one.
“Oh,” she said “totally normal. You picked lots of women, right?”
“Uh… yeah, actually, I think I said yes to half, at least. What do you mean?” I asked.
“Well,” she said, “These things all go the same way. The men will all agree to exchange contact information with lots of women - usually half or more of the women they meet. They’ll pick the prettiest women more, but they’re not that predictable and all the women will get at least a few yeses. The women will all pick one to three men, no more, and will only pick the most handsome ones; a few others guys might get one hit and half have no chance at all.”
“Oh,” I said. “That’s depressing.”
She shrugged. “It happens every time, and every time we try to change it and it never does. And we wish we could. It’s bad for our business model; men who don’t look like Ryan Gosling give up after one or two events, so our churn of male customers is through the roof and the word of mouth we get among men is not good. It’s every speed dating outfit, it’s always the same.” And sure enough, before the event started, her speech was practically begging the women to be open to exchanging emails. Anyway, I got two hits total in three events with that company, so I’m not the best looking guy.
I went to another speed dating event organized by a reasonably successful Toronto-area columnist whose “specialty” is matchmaking and dating. I put those in quotation marks because while she is an excellent writer her understanding of men is comically wrong. WE know each other through a number of mutual contacts and I was talking to her before the event. As is her custom, she complained that there are no single men available in Toronto - a city of almost three million people, and one that had provided a full complement of men to her event. She went on to complain that what would happen at this event was the men would all pick just the most beautiful woman.
I explained that exactly the opposite would happen. She was incredulous and told me I was insane, so I bet her fifty bucks I was right. A few days later she sent me an email saying I’d gotten no hits, and an interac transfer for $50.
Honestly, I think women (at least in North America) are conditioned to be much, much pickier. I am not sure if that’s a good thing, a bad thing, or neither bad nor good. It just is, and I’ve nothing to complain about because I ended up with an amazing woman, so, hey, it all works out.