There are frequent discussions of curvy women and arguments about whether women are curvy enough. Long hair versus short hair, tattoos, piercings… seems like posters here have a type they prefer and deviations from that type are pretty harshly criticized.
Just curious if women or men who are attracted to men are as rigid in their adherence to type. I’ll go first: I don’t have a preference as far as I can tell. Since I shouldn’t link to actual partners past and present, I’ll borrow some boyfriends from Hollywood.
Bert Kreischer: I’d be all over it. Not especially tall, kinda furry, less than square-jawed, obvious love for beer. But soo much fun!
I don’t really have a type when it comes to the men I prefer. I like a large variety, from skinny to average to slightly overweight, tall or short, all different skin-tones and nationalities…
I guess I just like an attractive face and body size/type, hair, skin color, etc, doesn’t matter too much to me beyond that. What makes for an attractive face? Well… that’s hard to say!
Timed out, sorry. Question is do admirers of men strive for perfection and find themselves disappointed with shortcomings, or are there features of habit or personality which eclipse flaws and make a visually imperfect guy lovable?
I’m tall and fit, so ideally I’d like someone tall and strong enough to pick me up and keep up with me on the trail or on the water, but any smart, kind-hearted outdoorsy guy who is fun and funny would make me happy regardless of height and build.
Well I thought we were restricting our discussion to only physical beauty, but if personality goes into the equation, I can tell you things that I instantly find attractive/repulsive.
Things that will make me INSTANTLY not find you attractive, no matter how pretty you are on the outside:
[ul]
[li]Asking me what my “sign” is, or telling me what “sign” you are. [/li][li]Saying mean things about other people[/li][li]Thinking that drinking and driving is ok if you don’t have far to go, or haven’t had “that” much to drink.[/li][li]Talking down to people or me using words like “oh honey” or whatever. [/li][/ul]
Things that will make me far more attracted to you regardless of what you look like
[ul]
[li] Showing an interest in math or science or technology, or even any field of study, really[/li][li] Being nice to people, standing up for someone, taking care of someone who needs help[/li][li] Being an atheist gets you some bonus points as well, but it’s not required[/li][/ul]
So yes, if personality and actions and beliefs come into “beauty” those are way more important to me than anything physical.
Personality dictates most of what I find attractive in a man. If someone shares my weird, sarcastic sense of humor, yet is intelligent and enjoys the same things I do then that’s swoon city for me. Physical attraction is also important, just on a lower level. I prefer blue eyes and strong facial features. Manly hands are a plus.
The thread that prompted this is the discussion of model Kate Upton, who seems agreeable and fun as well as attractive enough to land the SI Swimsuit issue two years running. Some posters are picking her apart, criticizing her body and comparing her to other models and actresses. But she’s always smiling, laughs and uses a lot of self-deprecating humor, and oh yeah, she’s crazy hot. I can’t believe any of those critical guys would kick her out of bed or have girlfriends or wives who are more attractive. So what happens to those guys? Are they perpetually disappointed with the women they’ve settled for?
In my experience, women have a much wider range of types and male beauty isn’t defined solely by his physical dimensions. Short action actors have a huge fan base. Dirty rockers, too. Most pro football players don’t have flat stomachs, nearly all are peppered with tattoos. What, if anything, is different about our (fans of men) point of view?
That’s pretty much how I feel. A guy just needs to have a couple or three physical features I like, the personality is the main attractor. For me it’s big shoulders and arms, manly hands, and I’m crazy over freckles. But a solid grin trumps all, I’ll follow the fun, happy guy home.
By all evidence I know of, the most important thing a female requires in a male is that he be tall. All kinds of other attributes matter to one degree or another, but being short for a male is a near-universal deal-breaker.
There are a whole spectrum of qualities and characteristics that I respond to. I may be attracted to a guy because he’s tall, or thin, or funny, or smart, or gentle, or has black hair, or is an artist, or teacher, or veterinarian, or he has long fingers, or heavy eyebrows, or an aquiline nose, or long eyelashes, or constant 5-o’clock shadow, or hairy legs, etc., etc., etc. A lot of the people I know have one specific type, and they never look at anyone else. Me, I am blessed to have found a man who has a great many qualities I respond to, both physical and inner qualities.
And the best thing about him is that he loves me back.
Oh, and Senegold: Some of the shortest guys I know are also the most popular.
Smarts, common interests and personality are much more important to me than anything else, really. I might hesitate over a guy who is really overweight, since I’d worry about how healthy he’d be in the long run and it would also be a big physical mismatch, but that’s about it. And at 5’3" the vast majority of men are taller than me anyway so height isn’t exactly an issue either, though it was a little weird when I briefly dated a guy who was 6’4". I do like to be able to look into a guy’s eyes without straining my neck.
panache45, you say such kind and loving things about your partner, he’s lucky to have you.
Senegold, I admit that I prefer my man to be bigger and stronger than I am, but I’d never rule out a man just because he’s shorter than me. Though at 5’10", I’m pretty much invisible to any guy under 6 feet tall, so from my experience, guys reject tall women, too.
I know it when I see it. I find a great many men ‘objectively’ attractive, in that I can clearly see that they are physically attractive human beings and I even enjoy looking at them, but I personally have zero or very little sexual or romantic attraction to them. Those few I have felt strongly attracted to don’t seem to have much of a ‘type’ though I definitely favor good bone structure, dark hair, a strong nose, low body fat, and a smaller frame size.
I don’t care about height the way some women seem to. I’m 5’5", and my height or shorter would be no problem. Although the three men I have dated were 5’7", 5’8" and 6’. The tallness of the last was more an irritation than a turn-on - we couldn’t even hold hands without me bending my elbow.
I think the height thing, for most women, is at least partiality due to a desire to feel physically dominated. But since I’m unusually small and thin, I’ve never once felt physically superior or larger than any man. And a man being too much bigger than me is a big turn-off. Even the smallest/thinnest men are usually 30+ lbs heavier than I am. I can’t imagine dating someone double my weight (and plenty of fit guys are, and then some). It just feels wrong, I never even look at big guys, they’re like another species.
ETA: I suppose what ends up making the difference for me between an ‘objectively attractive’ man and one I think is gorgeous and totally want to date, is all that ‘inner beauty’ stuff. Intelligence, compatible senses of humor, kindness and respectful treatment of other people, are very important to me in someone I date.
Seconded, pretty much exactly except I don’t care so much about muscular definition (thin is just fine with me and equally as attractive as muscular). So, we are both superficially gay men, then
I agree with all your minuses, although smoker wouldn’t be my biggest minus.
^Pretty much my list, too, right down to thinking of Matt Damon as the desiderata. Young Matt Damon, though. I don’t care about the muscles, and the skinnier and more boyish the better.
Of course, I’m so superficial that I’ve never had an actual boyfriend.
I couldn’t care less how men look…except for one thing: I can’t take facial hair. The very worst is deliberately shaped and styled facial hair, but really anything more than light stubble turns any potential interest on my part off like a light switch. I can’t explain it.
Agreed, almost. I would say it turns me off 99% of the time although if they are just stunningly gorgeous in other ways and just an overall great person, I might consider dating a guy who had some small amount of facial hair (but not a mustache or a full neck-beard no matter how great he was).
Overall yes, I have never ever dated a guy with facial hair and I don’t know if I ever would. If my boyfriend ever decided he wanted to grow a beard I would STRONGLY object to it and… it might be the end of us, I don’t know! But he’s asian and has very little hair to speak of on his face so I don’t think this is an issue
