What do women find attractive in men?

Hello there! I’ve been lurking around for a couple of months and just got around to registering a guest account.

So, for my first glorious topic, I’ve always wondered what exactly it is that female-types find in us males. Lots of times they’ll say “the face,” or “the body,” but won’t be specific.

So, Doper gals, enlighten me: what do YOU find attractive in men?

Physically, I am attracted to a man who has a nice smile (good, well cared for teeth are a must), clean and well-kept hands (long fingers are a plus) and a great “Middle Eastern” nose. (What can I say?) He must be clean and smell nice (no stinky-haven’t-bathed-yet odors). Weight and height? That’s up for grabs, but I’d prefer someone in the middle of the bell curve, not someone who’s say, 7 feet tall or 350 lbs.

Emotionally/Mentally it absolutely must be someone who can make me laugh and is generally a nice person. As little baggage as possible (if he’s hung up on an ex, then all deals are off). He should be smart, although a college degree isn’t necessary (a lot of smart people never went to college, and too many idiots have graduated from college). Employed? Absolutely, but not necessarily a sky-high paying job. If he’s a carpenter or a plumber or an electrician and can make a consistent living, then that’s okay. (Working with his hands is actually a plus for me.) He should like kids, but not have a biological clock ticking. (I’ve raised two and almost finished with my third and have hit 40 years old this year. Babies are NOT in my future.) He should not be INTO sports. (I’m not spending my weekends glued to Sports Network or going from one sporting event to the next. No way will I be a Football Widow.) He really needs to be secure in who he his, and isn’t looking for someone to “complete” him, but enrich his life overall.

Oh, and he should be a Doper. :smiley:

  1. Welcome to the boards
  2. Ask a specific question, get a specific answer: there’s many kinds of female Dopers; age range, gender preference, etc. If you were asking me what I found attractive in males, I’d answer thusly…“Confidence, good health and hygiene, a varied history, a fine vocabulary and attentiveness to me.” The first three would be evident on meeting and the next three evident on talking.
  3. Hi, Opal.

Women are often attracted to men who genuinely find them (the women) attractive – rather than those jerks who’ve hit on five other women within an earshot before making their way over to declare their love.

Guys who laugh at their jokes, are witty themselves, let them in on little secrets, are happy with their lives (either because they like their career/schooling or are working towards something positive), unabashedly feminist (and atheist, in my case), smart but not too smart, confident but plenty dorky, passionate about something but generally laid back, etc., etc.

It varies, obvs.

Huh. I meet nearly all of the above criteria, and yet my current love life pretty much resembles life on the Moon.

Thanks for the replies!

Of course, answers will vary, but surely there will be some common ground, and that’s what I’m looking for. Not so much because I want to make myself more attractive, but just because it has bugged the crap out of me for as long as I can remember…

I really should have previewed my OP…I started 2 lines with “So,” and it looks silly. :smack:

tdn, I too meet lots of the above criteria, and I’m in the same boat as you. I am, however, infamous for turning down dates and the like, almost unconditionally, so maybe I intimidate women. My reasons for doing that, though, are probably worthy of an entirely new topic.

Most women are attracted to successful men.

People often confuse that with rich men. That is not so. A man who is rich by inheriting money isn’t nearly as appealing a figure as a self-made man who has less money. And men with little money but who are very good at their work, or successes in their family life, or in their church, or their hobbies, will often be seen as wildly attractive by somebody.

Turning down dates? You mean you get asked? :eek:

Physically: I love men with a great mop of hair. Brushing the collar, wavy, soft-looking… I see the right ‘do and I just want to *pull *it. I love dark hair. I’m not too picky in terms of height and body type, but I want someone who looks healthy. These days, I’m loving men with glasses.

Mentally/Emotionally: Intelligence is a must. Someone who has strong opinions and doesn’t mind debating them is a plus. Humor is a must, especially if it runs toward the morbid and the dry. Some sort of artistic passion is a must.

I’m not sure why you think there is some common ground. Do you think that is true of what men desire in women? That there is some specific common ground? So far as I can tell, big boobs, small boobs, superfat, superskinny, airheads, intellectuals, etc. all have their fans.

Surprisingly, yes. But I turn them down because I just don’t…ah…it’s hard to articulate my ideas on this…it’s something about the fact that it’s our most primal urges that drives the entire “dating” thing, and that bothers me.

It’s hard to describe but I don’t want to date right now.

Ah, crud. Took too long to post.

That previous post was directed towards tdn. Hello Again, I would think that there would be some kind of majority opinion. Most men will look at the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition and agree that the women featured are all attractive, and usually they can tell you things that they like (even if those things are as shallow as big boobs). But it seems like women don’t enumerate their turn-ons nearly as often, and that’s kind of what I was looking for in this topic.

Oh. If you’re just looking for majority opinion, you might be interested in this thread:
Ladies Which Male Physique Do you Prefer?.

Of the choices given, the consensus was #11 by a landslide, and there are examples of other ideal male physiques in later posts.

:eek: That should be good news for me! I’m almost the exact same as 11, just a little bit more muscular.

Physique doesn’t matter to me, and I prefer a few “flaws” like crooked teeth or thinning hair or a cute potbelly to someone who resembles a Ken doll.

Confidence, intellect and sense of humor, along with an honest appreciation for women. There are a lot of single men out there who subconsciously think of women as less than equal, unworthy of respect or admiration. They spend a lot of time wondering why they’re unable to find a decent partner, go figure.

That’s what we need. “Couch Potato Ken”. His painted on tighty whities will be discolored and have a hole or three in them, a pot belly, and hairy nipples.

Bin-go. You’ve nailed it in five. I can’t add anything else.

I like guys with jobs. Guys with jobs that like me back.

That’s about all I look for anymore. heh

Hi. :slight_smile:

Wait a minute. What’s this about my job liking you?