Well, #7’s no good. His type won’t respond to simple requests like opening pod bay doors, so you know he’s not ever going to take out the trash or walk the dog.
#6 needs better dental care. I’m not interested in a hump or two with a guy who smells like something died in his mouth.
#4 has excessively dry skin, I don’t think he takes good care of himself. Probably spent his younger years on the beach tanning too much. Leathery. Ick.
#3 looks like he’s hung like a horse, but he’s got some identity issues going on. Almost like he’s a white guy trying to be black, or a black guy trying to be white. Can’t quite make up my mind which.
#2’s cute enough even though he’s on the chubby side. Looks depressed, though. I need someone with a little more self-esteem and energy, not a man who’s going to lie there like he’s hibernating half the year when I want to go out and socialize.
#1 is good-looking, and while I don’t like the big ears much, I can probably learn to ignore them. I like that he’s just accepting his baldness, and not attempting a combover. Extra points. He’s in the “maybe” pile.
That leaves #5. what can I say, I love a redhead with a bushy beard. I’ll take him.