In this thread, several posters suggested that, as straight men, they were generally unable to differentiate between attractive and unattractive men. Several other posters implied that these straight men were basically pretending not to be able to tell (or were otherwise mistaken about their inability in some way).
I’m not including gays in this poll, mostly for reasons of simplicity (and also because, in my experience, the vast majority have no problem identifying attractive opposite-sex people).
As for me, while I usually have no trouble picking out “handsome” and “ugly” at the extremes, in general it just doesn’t occur to me that another guy is attractive or unattractive, nor am I able to see it if it’s pointed out to me. The only reason I’m able to identify which *women *are attractive (mostly) is because I’m attracted to them, you know? I’m not objectively rating them based on certain pre-determined criteria.
Depends. I have no problem with more “feminine” men, but do with more “masculine” ones. And I also have problems with larger frames, as well. Knowing when they look good and when they don’t is hard.
Also, I have no idea why my fat frame is attractive at all to some women. I tend to assume it’s just because they overlooked my body and liked my personality.
Note: Words in quotes are used because I can’t think of a better term for the concept. I would appreciate help.
ETA: Forgot that I’m bad with age as well. I tend to assume everyone wants younger.
I posted that I could, but in fact my answer is more complex than that–because, in my experience at least, what straight women find attractive in men is more idiosyncratic than what straight men find attractive in women.
I think most women can generally tell who is pretty. Of course, there are times when we’re completely baffled that guys think she’s hot, but more often than not…
I kind of wonder if on average women are just more observant about men’s reactions to other women, than many men are to women’s reactions to other men. You rarely hear lovelorn men moaning about how they’re sure they’re not her type, for example.
Man here. I can’t tell if other men are attractive. I know Tom Cruise is attractive, for example, but if it wasn’t for his being a movie star I might not be able to tell him apart from other, average-looking men.
I’m male, and I chose that I could generally tell if another male is or isn’t attractive, but it takes my taste in to account. For example, I have two female friends that have rather similar taste in men. There have been plenty of times where I see what I think of as an unattractive guy and then I’ll notice them drooling over said guy.
Sometimes, but I often am surprised. As others have said, I have no idea why Tom Cruise or George Clooney or who have you are considered so head-and-shoulders above the average guy on the street, for example.
Not in my experience. As I said in the other thread, my GF doesn’t seem able to tell whether men are handsome or not. (We’re lesbians, btw). She thought that NCIS’ McGee was more conventionally handsome than Tony and didn’t realise that Nathan Fillion was conventionally handsome at all.
I’ve known a few other lesbians and gay men who are the same - not that we’ve talked about the subject specifically, but I definitely remember occasions where they haven’t realised that the person they’re talking about is widely considered to be good-looking.
Uh…there’s not a consensus amongst straight women on that one. I was pretty surprised to learn that he’s supposed to be attractive too, not just funny.
That is a different point then I would have. I don’t think of it in a ‘other people think they’re attractive’ way. I know what I consider an attractive woman to be when I see one, even though I have no sexual attraction to them. That is more what I meant when I said I find it amusing that straight guys often say that they don’t know if another guy is attractive or not.
I have little idea, short of plug-ugly versus damn fine. I’ve known guys who I always thought of as looking like… well… just guys and heard later from females that they were all sorts of hot. Go figure.
I once asked a girlfriend if women can tell when other women were hot. She said “Of course. Why do you think we all hate one another?”
Nope, never been able to tell. I mean, if a guy is obviously, doubtlessly deformed, then yeah, I’ll probably be able to guess that he’s not considered good-looking. But other than that, nope I have zero ability to tell.
I went most of my life figuring this was the standard – I remember having a discussion with a female coworker six or seven years ago about this, and she insisted that I was either lying or in the closet. I wrote her off as a complete moron, but it got me to wondering if this wasn’t as much as a “all guys can’t tell” thing as I had figured. So, I asked around with some of my buddies, and found that I was actually in the minority.
As an aside, reading the original thread earlier today made me think to ask my coworker if she still thought I was lying to myself. Yep – she’s still a complete moron.
See, now on the one hand, Nathan Fillion looks to me like a guy who could be considered quite handsome. On the other hand, if I knew him in real life as just some guy, I wouldn’t think “Man, you’re so good looking. You should be in pictures!”. On the gripping hand, the fact that he is apparently the sort of guy that women take particular pleasure in seeing onscreen is not surprising to me either.
I think it’s like that way for a lot of people with me. My attractiveness-judging abilities don’t have very fine precision. (Of course, everything’s also a matter of taste. Even when it comes to women, on which I know very well what I like and there is no ambiguity over my fitness to judge, it’s not uncommon to find myself disagreeing with other men).
But that’s about personal taste, not whether someone is conventionally handsome. I mean, lots of people don’t find Tom Cruise attractive personally, but it’d be hard to deny that he’s handsome.
How can you consider them an attractive woman - in a personal way, not in a ‘other people find them attractive’ way - if you’re not attracted to them? I think I must be misreading you.
I’m probably explaining it poorly. It’s a purely platonic thing, like I know a nice painting, car, cat or whatever to be nice looking. It’s more of a thing where I find them good looking but not in a sexual way.
Ah, I think I get you. I reckon there are probably quite a lot of people who don’t have that reaction to people, same as there are some people who don’t like art.
I think I can tell and when I ask my wife, she generally agrees. On the other hand, she generally fans about telling which women I find particularly attractive.
I have no trouble at all identifying men that I would be happy looking like. It’s really just recognising what I perceive to be the ideal figure and looks. It may not be the same as what other people think of as good looking of course, but this is all about taste.
I find this a little confusing. I voted yes, that I can tell when someone is attractive. However, I don’t mean that I’m trying to think like a straight guy when assessing whether or not a woman is attractive. Rather, I use my own criteria. The basic question is, “Would I like to look like that?” If the answer is yes, then the woman is attractive. If not, then no. Whether or not guys would find the woman in question is attractive is only marginally relevant.