This question is more for the (non-gay) men but it applies for both sexes in general. How many here notice good-looking members of their same sex when they are in their daily lives? What is your physiological and/or mental reaction to this? Do you form any particular thoughts in reaction? Or is it more of a passing recognition, detached from any feeling?
When I see a good looking guy, especially in close proximity, something changes; physiologically speaking. No, I am not gay nor am I bisexual. I find myself comparing various aspects of our respective “beings” and at times becoming envious. Of course this is momentary superficial nonsense but it does happen. Do other men, or women, have similar experiences?
I am a non-good-looking, straight woman and I love looking at good looking people at the gym. I might look at women more than men, even - possibly because the women are wearing more flattering clothing.
I totally appreciate nice boobs, great ass, tight legs, even curvy hips. Not because I want to touch them or sex them, but because I want to have them.
Me, too. My husband and I check out chicks together all the time. We have a signal; I’ll clear my throat and point my eyes in the relevant direction to call his attention to a girl he hasn’t noticed yet. We have different preferred types, so we’ll say “I get the one on the left” or “I call the chubby one.”
BTW my husband has Aspergers, so I had to train him to do this discreetly. He used to go “WHOA!!! Check out the hottie at nine o’clock!”
My appreciation of physical beauty goes far beyond my sexuality. I just don’t feel sexually attracted to many people (I can go weeks not seeing anyone).
But I love to people-watch and I enjoy looking at particularly beautiful men, women, children, and babies. There are so many things that can be beautiful about the face or form of a person.
I think it’s very common to feel somewhat intimidated by or competitive with a good-looking person you are not attracted to. I feel somewhat unusual in that I don’t commonly feel this way. Though I have been attracted to women before, I am not usually attracted to conventionally ‘hot’ femme women. Hence my great success at having long-term friendships with hot straight women who historically ‘don’t get along with girls’ (except for me).
As for the OP, yeah, of course there’s that whole “If you’re a straight guy it’s not cool to admit when another guy is good looking”, but I say to hell with that. I mean I don’t go around announcing from rooftops, but I’m fairly certain the words “That is one good looking dude” have left my lips at one time or another. I think it makes you a better person to be able to admit things like that, rather than pretending you’re the best-looking person in the world or coming across as homophobic.
I honestly can’t tell if males are good looking just by bone structure or general form. I am blind to some things like small variations in bone structure that others can see. I can tell if men dress well and are generally healthy in terms of weight, complexion etc. That makes up most of looks as men get older. I only really notice if there is something that I would like to emulate. I also like cologne and notice good ones on other men.
I’ve never really been clear on what’s considered “good looking” in men. I assume a lot of it’s the same as with women, so I could probably decide if a man is good looking, if given the time to really analyze, but it’s not intuitive, like it is with women. I don’t look at a woman and think “her face is really symmetrical” I just know she’s attractive.
This is for faces, anyway. For bodies, I’m guessing tall and at least somewhat muscular, is preferred.
So to answer the question in the OP: I don’t really notice them at all.
I have been fat and felt unattractive since an incident in high school, and to some extent since grade school. But that’s my image of myself. I cannot, for the life of me, tell what attributes women find attractive about men. Women didn’t find me attractive, so why do they (in general, here) find Brad Pity, Leonardo Dicaprio, or George Clooney attractive? (or did when I was a teenager and paid attention to what women professed to love. I have no idea who the popular stereotypical cute guys are today.) These guys look totally different to me.
Now, having said that, while I can’t see another man as attractive sexually, I envy some of them their looks. But that has more to do with my insecurities and some guys ‘look’ like nice guys who you I can see making friends with. Ewan McGregor comes to mind. And, of course, some guys look so damn good in a nice suit, I burn with envy. But none of this ‘attraction’ has anything to do with sex.
I simply don’t see what is particularly different about men that my SO will call out as being attractive or not. My take on this is that the culturally agreed characteristics of “an attractive woman” at first look are reasonably well agreed upon, whereas the same is not true of males; that is more to do with attributed characteristics than objectively visible ones.
Taking it down top the personal, she does not see herself as attractive - she would say she’s short, has “fat legs”, is not very confident, is not conventionally beautiful and so on. Yet she has never had the slightest problem in actually attracting men, so by the only measure that matters she is attractive - she attracts. She exudes a sensuality, a warmth and physicality that IMO would attract virtually any man interested in a relationship. But she can’t dissociate her visible “attributes” from those she’s learnt are supposed to add up to attractiveness, she sees no connection and so goes around with this self-vision that she’s unattractive.
I’ve told her that (I hear) Elle McPherson thinks her thighs are fat; every woman seems to focus on her self-perceived physical flaws rather than her best points, but they are what a man sees. I guess this all comes down to men having an excess of self-confidence and women having a lack of it; I can only think this mutual imbalance has had some evolutionary purpose.
The only time I consider the looks of another man is when I hear a woman describe him as good looking. At that point I observe his appearance to see if I can understand exactly why he was described that way.
Usually I agree with the observation and then inform the woman that I used to look very much like that man until that tragic incident that disfigured me while I was rescuing infants, kittens and puppies from a house fire.
I can distinguish “to’ up from the floor up” from “beauty peagent queen”, but that’s about it. That goes for both men and women. Simply depending on the ambient lighting and people’s facial expressions (which change so much during a single interaction, it’s amazing), people can look downright scary or amazing.
I will never be a good judge of looks. Unless you’re on the extremes, you will look like every other schmoe I come across.
I never really had a grasp on what constitutes “good looking” for guys either (other than obvious stuff like not being 400 lbs). Many of the dudes that women say are good looking just look ordinary to me. Guys are like furniture to me. Just completely uninteresting to look at.
Yeah, there is no standard for good looks in guys (apart from not fat, which most people agree on). Women are just as attracted to this guy than to this guy or this guy or this or this guy. You simply can’t look at a man and say he is or isn’t attractive, women tastes vary extremely wildly. This is in part why men don’t have as many image issues as women, there isn’t a standard look to aspire to.
If I have to actually interact with a bloke who might rival me in looks, I make it a priority to assure myself that he is at least also feeble-minded, to counterbalance this.
Yes, I feel something not too different. It’s fleeting, and not any kind of a big deal.
There’s some “age envy” intertwined in there as well. Sometimes I look at twenty-something guys having fun on a weekend with pretty young things in tow, and I think back to my own post-high-school youth. The opportunities I squandered :smack:
I don’t understand when men say they can’t tell when other men are good looking. Seriously? I judge everyone and have absolutely no problems picking out pretty women! Mostly I like to nitpick their outfits or point out that she’d be such a pretty girl if she took some of that slap off. But yes, of course I like to look at pretty people. I also like to look at pretty horses and pretty chairs!
It’s seriously true for me. Men are just sexual non-entities to me. It’s like trying to tell what kind of male horse that female horses are attracted to. They kind of all look the same to me. I mean, I can tell what’s obviously unattractive - bad hygiene, obesity, etc, but I don’t know what makes John Hamm or George Clooney more attractive than any other well kept guys. They just look like random dudes to me. Sometimes guys that women say are attractive strike me as huge douchebags too. I’m like, "that guy? Really. The dude who played Mr. Big on Sex and the City is an example of this. He just strikes me as a smirking tool. Men aren’t repulsive to me, they just aren’t anything sexual. They’re furniture.
