How do you turn down a date conditionally?
“I won’t go out with you unless you change my transmission fluid.”
“If you can eat this whole sleeve of saltines in ten minutes I’ll take you to brunch.”
I am not a woman. But I think that confidence is your #1 answer.
OK, maybe “unconditionally” is the wrong word. I’m just not interested in dating right now, and it doesn’t bother me at all that I don’t have a girlfriend. This topic is not an attempt to improve myself, it’s just a way to fight my ignorance about what females find attractive.
Could you expound upon that one a little bit?
The things that will grab my attention in a man (visually) are (in no particular order):
[ul]
[li]height – I love tall men – over 6’[/li][li]thinness – I can’t help it, I love skinny guys[/li][li]being Native American – 'nuff said[/li][li]green eyes – yeh, not usually found in NA guys, but still[/li][li]red hair – goes well with the green eyes[/li][li]skinny wrists – donno why, just a major turn-on for me[/li][li]great lips – I love kissable lips, what can I say?[/li][/ul]
Those are the things that will get my attention visually, the things that will keep my attention are as follows (again, in no particular order):
[ul]
[li]Intelligence[/li][li]sense of humour – I prefer a dry wit, love a sarcastic guy[/li][li]no wussification – the minute a guy says “make love” instead of “fuck” or “have sex” it’s instant turn-off[/li][li]confidence – I can’t stand to be talking to a man (or woman) who finds the tops of their feet more interesting than my face…or my boobs even[/li][/ul]
Oddly enough, I tend to end up with blonde haired, blue eyed men, so just because I find someone attractive, doesn’t necessarily mean physically…
Physically, nice eyes. That’s always been the first thing that will attract me to a man, at least at the physical crush level. Other things are nice too: a nice beard (to set off the eyes), strong (though not necessarily muscular), dark hair.
Mentally/Emotionally, I have always been attracted to shy, intelligent men. Sure, a charming, buff soccer player would probably attract me, but I don’t think I’d want to date him. It’s partially that I want a guy to be a little like me, and I’m shy too, but I also find the shy intelligence to be a turn-on, not sure why. I would want to date the guy in my physics lab who I know likes me but who takes a few weeks to get up the courage to ask me out. Which is ok because it would take me a few weeks to say yes. Maybe this is why nice eyes are necessary, because when a guy is shy, his eyes tend to be very expressive…
Then again, maybe my traits are all just describing my husband, and maybe if I had decided to marry someone else, they would be different. 
I probably don’t belong in this thread, being a guy and all. But I’ve spent a good part of my life casually observing male-female dating and mating, and I have a grand conclusion on this topic.
The two most desirable physical features on a guy are:
I’ve seen dumb guys, ugly guys, poor guys, sloppy guys, rude guys, drunk guys, old guys – even pot-bellied slobs – with those two traits (just one ain’t good enough) who can get any girl in the room.
Height and broad shoulders are the guy equivalent to big boobs.
Pull your pants **up over ** your butt when you dress. Did you mother teach you nothing? 
Anyhoo, a nice sardonic sense of humor is good, being taller than me is nice. Being basically kind but able to make fun of what a pathetic species humans can be. Being polite and respectful to me as another human being but not whatever “gentlemanly” means. Physically, I have preferences but I grow to be attracted to people based on their personalities and forget about how I thought they looked when I first saw them. Good hygeine and no combovers.
But that’s just me. There’ll be as many opinions as there are women.
I’ve fallen for a pretty wide variety of men. The one physical trait they all had in common were that they were all at least as tall as I am (5’ 81/2"ish), and most were six foot or better. And it’s not so much that I’m only possibly interested in tall guys - I mean it could be - but the shorter guys haven’t exactly approached me.
On things I don’t care about - I don’t give a damn what your hair or eye color is. I am nominally more attracted to men with plenty hair or completely without as opposed to in-the-middle-of-balding, but I have completely lost notice of it because of other factors. I don’t care about ethnic background so long as I feel I have something in common with the guy.
Things that make me go zing:
And of course, on top of all that, he has to like and be interested in me.
Is it any wonder I’m single?
I like a man who is really smart. That is really an incredible turn on. I know it is cliche, but it’s true. I like funny too. My sense of humor is broad and lively, and I need a man that can keep up with it.
He should be strong of character. I like an honorable man. That is sexy! I don’t care much about material things at all. I don’t care what a man wears; it is more important how he wears it. In my hood we call that ‘stealo’ or ‘steez’.
I like a man of strong opinion…I am a woman of very strong opinion, so a weaker man would not last long with me.
His walk should be cool. I like full lips and I love when they lick their lips. I like a scar, or a chipped tooth, or something like that. I don’t know why. I like very black skin. I appreciate nice calves…not huge, just…nice.
And I prefer a man trim and fit, which is odd, because I am neither trim nor fit.
I love nappy beards and dreadlocks too! It looks so rugged and ungroomed! I love that about a man.
And I like my husband. He meets the most important of the above criteria.
I’m pretty sure that what attracts me most is a man who is smart enough to know what a good, responsible person is, and is content with the fact that he is not completely screwing that up, but at the same time does not think he is doing anything that would deserve a prize.
I also like a big smile and those big manly eyebrows. I like them to be big so I can really see it when I make one of them go up.
Cocky+Funny+Good-looking = date-o-rama.
Hard to swallow I know. But, he isn’t a Doper… he’s a guest.
Yeah, I agree. It took me a long time to realize why so few women said yes when I asked them out. I finally figured out it’s because I’m short. I used to go to bars with a buddy who’s about 6 inches taller than me. Women would practically knock me down to talk to my friend. It’s not just the equivalent of big boobs, it’s more important. Even most guys who like big boobs don’t consider small boobs an unconditional deal-breaker.
Had a discussion with a woman acquaintance once. She swore up and down that women don’t care about looks like men do. I maintained that they do - it’s just that different aspects of appearance are important to them. Men like curves, and women like height. Not all of them, but I bet it’s 80 to 90 percent.
Simplicity. Physicality. Productivity. Oppositeness.
For years I’ve been toying with the notion that a woman finds a man with some undefinable allure, they fall in love, and then they find just about everything that man IS attractive. But what do I know.
You’re thinking of the wrong kind of moon. The kind you’re thinking of has plenty of life.
Maybe I should shower more often.