Of interest, when your executor is someone outside the immediate family, or someone who is not a beneficiary of the will, they are typically due a fee, typically a percentage of the estate value. My mother acted as the executor for one of her accounting clients and I believe she chargef something like 5% of the estate. When mom passed away, two of my brothers were listed as the co–executors and neither charged a fee. They were reimbursed from the estate for costs related to settling it, which was only fair.
a related option would be to put everything you own into a living trust. The trust specifies what happens when you die, and largely avoids probate and any issues with squabbling heirs. That doesn’t solve the issue of what to do with material items such as furniture or jewelry, of course. Of course you have to name a trustee handle the trust once you pass on, and there will be fees involved with that.
An aunt and an uncle both picked my sister (their niece). She has no particular properties that would make her ideal, except she was perceived as diligent and honest. Both were childless, and she was ready at hand.
I was my mother’s executor, and it was time consuming and expensive, but all the sibs got along well, as we always have. It was a relatively substantial estate, but the will had been written pretty carefully. There was some art and antiques that we sold on commission, and the rest we fought over (As in “You take it!” “No, you, I know you always loved it!” It brought us even closer together.
I envy you. One of my sibs just threatened my children and their families if I didn’t give him money “RIGHTNOW” But I can’t because the will is being contested by my other sibs child. I want to go back in time and deck my mom who said to all “I want them all to fight for the money” I don’t even want it. I just don’t want lawyers to get it but I am just inches away from walking.
No way would I be willing to serve as an executor for anyone. Way too much liability.
Also, for all bank and retirement accounts, make sure that the beneficiaries form is completed. I was the executor for my mother’s estate, and this saved the family a lot of suspicion and anger that was really just based in grief. As one bank officer put it as she was cutting checks, “Your mom’s signature signature beats any will.”
My wife and I just made our first will. The attorney we used said no to this, the executor should be someone that would have no financial benefit if you die. We also found out that if a person has a felony conviction or has ever filed bankruptcy cannot be an estate executor either. Depending on the circumstances, it will either be the daughter of her best friend or my niece.
Hire a lawyer for the job. I was executor for my mom’s estate, because I was the only one who lived here. It was dreadful. It weighed on me every day, and it forced me to wallow in my grief for months. I had no experience in anything like it, and other family members blamed me for mistakes I made. Don’t do it yourself.