Heh. Speaking of ham-fisted, anyone else remember SPIRE Comics? They had a license to do Christian comics featuring the Archie Characters.
They were kinda cool in a weird sort of way, in that they were anti-Chick comics, but they were syrupy, treacly, and kinda icky.
Big Ethel and Betty were saints. Literally. Saints. They could do no wrong.
Archie was semi-retarded. (he’s always been absent minded and careless. In Spire Comics, he had about the IQ of Charlie in “Flowers for Algernon”)
Veronica and Reggie were evil.
Jughead was the semi-cynic who often ended up converted by God’s love.
And they used ‘hep’ slang that was 10 years out of date.
Plus they were as preachy as the GL/GAs.
(Typical dialogue)
Jughead: Hey Arch! Big Ethel’s pretty ugly, huh?
Archie: Yeah. Hot Dog has had better looking dates!
Ethel (who was convieniently standing within earshot): SOB!
(runs off)
Betty: How can you two be so mean? Look at who Big Ethel REALLY is (montage of Big Ethel reading to the blind, working in a soup kitchen, planting trees for the ecology movement, working as a candy-striper in a senior center, etc)
Betty: Don’t you know that the Bible says (some Bible verses about how beauty is in what you do not how you look.) By Jesus’s standard, Big Ethel is the most beautiful of us ALL
Archie and Jughead: GEE! We NEVER realized THAT before!
Last panel: Archie and Jughead bring flowers to Big Ethel and take her on a date “'cause you’re the most beeeee-atuiful chick we know!” as Big Ethel grins.
Frankly, I think that message is more subtle than the GL/GAs and I like the message better than the crappy “I’m a junkie and it’s YOUR fault Green Arrow. Even though I’m an adult, you should control my choices better!” :rolleyes:
Fenris