I’ve started reading some comic book series about the infamous Edward “Blackbeard” Teach, which I thought obviously romanticized the figure of the pirate, showing him as a nice, honorable person. So I went to Wikipedia to read a bit about the actual horrors the historical Blackbeard was guilty of.
… and found nothing. Apparently, Teach was a fairly decent guy. His fearsome persona was just theatrics, and, as a matter of fact, he barely allowed his crew to kill or torture. What. A. Pussy.
Help me assuage my disappointment, GQ, tell me about the real evil bastards who prowled the sea leaving a trail of blood and guts.
In addition to Low, François l’Olonnais was on up there:
“L’Olonnais himself was an expert torturer, and his techniques included slicing portions of flesh off the victim with a sword, burning them alive, or “woolding”, which involved tying knotted rope around the victim’s head until their eyes were forced out.”
Yes, but he only did that so that Hand wouldn’t be on the ship when Blackbeard engaged with the Royal Navy to spill enough blood in the salt water to body switching spell work.
I’ve got to stop getting my history from Tim Powers
If you judge worst based on the amount stolen then Bartholomew “Black Bart” Roberts is the winner. He’s several times past his closest competitors and he had an unusually long career too. His death is often seen as the end of the Age of Piracy. It’s his Articles that are typically listed as a generic “Pirate Code” and he’s the inspiration for a lot of fictional pirates, including the Dread Pirate Roberts.
He wasn’t a blood thirsty monster either though. He prefered tea to rum and occasionally he’s mentioned to have not drank any alcohol at all, but that’s never been proven and the general concensus is that he probably drank beer and wine. He was popular with his crew and often gave gifts to captains who surrendered rather then fight.
Interestingly, during the latter part of Roberts’ career there was a sailor named Hands with him. There’s some speculation that this was the Israel Hands shot by Teach. I’ve also seen some guesses that Teach never meant to shoot Hands in the first place, they were drunk and Teach was messing with the pistol causing it to go off. Rather then admit to an accident he claimed it was intentional.
I’m wonderng if Piracy didn’t attract the crazy and sadistic types in the first place, given how easy it was to get a letter from the government and become an official Privateer (basically a self-employed navy ship).
On the other hand, that worked only during the years when a war between seagoing nations - England against France/ Spain - was going on; once a standstill or peace had been reached, not only were the navy officers let go, but also privateers were no longer official. So maybe pirates were simply people out for loot but starting in the wrong decade? If you want loot, and can think halfway strategically, it makes more sense to use as little violence as necessary. Unharmed captives can be released against ransom or sold on slave markets; and they will spread the word. If the crews know that surrendering means decent treatment, but fighting will mean death, they will be far more inclined to surrender (leaving the ship intact) than the crew of a ship facing a sadistic bastard like some of the mentioned above, where fight to the death seems the better alternative.
L’Olonnais was not a pirate but a buccanneer.
Are we supposed to mix pirates and buccanneers in this thread , or should we treat them as history does, and as they deserve, that is separate categories?
If it is buccanners and pirates in the same category, L’Olonnois is the most cruelest ever, ripping out the heart of one Spanish prisoner and eating it raw before the assembly of other captured Spaniards, just to make the point that you really detest Spaniards seems hard to top.
If we keep them separate, I think Rackham was a pirate and since he invented “the plank” maybe he deserves the title. For some reason I think the buccanneers tended to be crueler than pirates, maybe because they still cared about nationalities and religious faiths.
