Boy, Cryptoderk, it’s rather rare that I notice that someone who rises above the fray to proudly declare that they engage in obnoxious behavior without offering any explanation of why their behavior should be considered acceptable. You talk about enjoying your giant umbrella and say that we should not criticize the needs of others, but you don’t provide a single word about why you feel entitled to use an umbrella that inconveniences others. Your comments in another Pit thread about how you like to speed through red lights and stop signs on your bicycle also come to mind.
Do you also smoke cigarettes and blow the smoke in people’s faces? Swear in church? Eat stinky food on the Tube?
WAAAAAH! YOU CARRY A BIG UMBRELLA YOU DON’T NEED!!!
Jesus fucking Christ, this board is just chock-full of self-righteous assholes. OMG!! Someone drives a Hummer! They’re Satan’s spawn! Holy shit! There’s someone with a golf umbrella! God dammit, how can those be legal?!?!?! They’ll poke an EYE OUT!!! Horrors!! Those fucking breeders and their sidewalk-hogging baby strollers!!!
Thank you, each and every one of you whining fucking crybabies, for giving me so many retards to point and laugh at.
O NOES!!! I said RETARD!!! HOLY SHIT!!! I’M GOING TO HELL!!!
It must be odd to live in a world where one must restrict one’s self to one and only one umbrella. The poverty must be crushing. Because in my world, umbrellas cost maybe $4. I own a fleet of them.
Hey, you know what? If you want to be an asshole, go ahead, but own it. If there’s anything I hate more than an asshole, it’s an asshole who tries to weasel out of it.
The price of the umbrella is immaterial. It’s still an unecceasrry expense for some people who don’t like have a lot of umbrellas. (I also have a lot of umbrellas, but the bigger the better!)
Listen, if you can wield that behemoth with grace and safety, then go for it. But the fact is, many people can’t. Surely you can understand this. Personally, I don’t like being forced off of the sidewalk because some inconsiderate jerk insists on leading some bizarre one-umbrella “lifestyle.”
Well, they annoy me as well when they get in my way. But it’s a hell of a lot easier to downsize your umbrella than your ass.
In all seriousness, a good example would be that a fat person who has no idea of the size of their own ass and tries to squeeze it into an impossibly small subway seat, thus invading my personal space, is going to annoy me.
A person with a large umbrella on say, a golf course, isn’t bothering anyone. But when they blithely take up two thirds of a crowded sidewalk with that thing, is behaving inappropriately and, yes, annoying me.
Some might call the people carrying oversized umbrellas in the city and driving Hummers without any care for their impact on others “self-righteous assholes” – the kind of people who have a limitless, defensive sense of entitlement.
I guess I didn’t make myself clear earlier. I invited you to make an argument prooving that you were over 12.
And know, I don’t get myself terribly worked up about it. That part is all in your adolescent head. But I do find it annoying. I’m surprised that I’d even have to explain that to anyone.
Using a golf umbrella is an entitlement? Holy fucking shit. You cannot be serious. Let me explain something. Any umbrella can inconvenience others, if it is used improperly. So can a ball point pen. Or a rolled up newspaper. Do I need an entitlement to carry one of those around?
You’re not gonna get it. See, the eyeball thing is hyperbole. Never mind that it keeps coming up as an essential part of the argument. Never mind that the argument fails without it. It’s up to you to determine when they are serious and when they are just kidding around.
