How many eyes have been poked out by golf umbrellas being used as a rain shield? Do you know of any? Can you cite any?
Contrapuntal, I believe that the concept of “hyperbole” has alreadly been addressed in this thread. Do try not to be so tiresomely literal.
The whole freaking OP is hyperbole. If you want to be taken seriously, you need to say what you mean.
But, just for my education, what level of personal injury have you suffered from a golf umbrella? How many times?
Yeah, I hate them too. Fortunately, IME, umbrellas seem to be dieing out, and amongst my generation, a man with an umbrella is seen as, well, not being very manly.
Yeah, but you must be some sort of fascist to demand that someone should wear boots and a raincoat just so that they don’t poke out your eye. You’ve got another eye on the other side anyway - what are you complaining about?
It’s not the umbrellas causing the problem here, it’s the incompetent that don’t use them correctly. I like my big umbrellas (I have quite a collection, in fact - all bought from lost property sales).
I sometimes use a big umbrella on my commute, but I raise it up high when I pass people so as not to get in their personal space/whack their heads.
Sailboat
I’ve been smacked or poked in the face or head with them many times. Have I been seriously hurt? No. But it’s mildy painful and extremely annoying and completely fucking needless. Assuming that you’re not four feet wide OR one of the aliens from Signs, you don’t *need * a golf umbrella, and if you choose to inconvenience the people around you by using one anyway, then you’re an asshole.
I don’t need a straight dope subscription, but since I have one I would like to inconvenience you by pointing out this arguement is shit.
Yeah, but your straight dope subscription doesn’t inconvenience or annoy other peopl… Wait… Scratch that.
And perhaps I could inconvenience you by asking you to explain why? You can use small words if you like, and I won’t even subtract points for spelling!
You are in no position to judge what their needs are.
Trust me, I know.
Of course, the humidity has been very low relative to many other years. I think its in the 50s right now.
Kindly explain to me under what circumstances a normal sized person without a tragic allergy to water could **need ** a four-foot wide umbrella to walk crowded city sidewalks. Seriously. I’m not being snarky here. Help me to understand.
Haven’t a clue. I can list possible situations for you:
- They only own one umbrella
- They’ve just dropped some kids off at school, who they were walking under the umbrella
- The umbrella satisfies their need for self-actualization.
My point is that you are not in a position to decide whether they “need” it or not.
Sure, but it’s a very safe bet most of them don’t actually need a big umbrella, couple that with the fact that big umbrellas, carelessly used, are a serious inconvenience and possible hazard to other pedestrians, and the whole entitlement argument starts to look a bit crumbly.
Ah, so we’re defining “need” very differently, I see. Because my response to those would be:
- Buy another
- Sometimes understandable I guess, but certainly not applicable to downtown Boston’s financial district
- Bite me
So they should own two umbrellas so that…?
I’ve already said that only people who can control an umbrella should be in charge of it.
So that they have one suitable for wide open spaces and one suitable for crowded city streets, if they have occasion to spend rainy days in both sorts of enviroments. I imagine that you own several pairs of shoes suitable to various occasions. Umbrellas are usually cheaper than shoes.
And I’m certain that every person who has ever smacked me in the face with an umbrella was blissfully, obliviously confident that they were fully competent to wield that thing.
Why should someone buy a new umbrella when they consider their current one suitable for city streets?
Might I suggest you disabuse them of that notion, loudly and forcefully?