Mostly because you were right. Damnit. This is really pitting myself for saying “never” which you’re not supposed to do, lest you do the very thing you said you “never” would.
I said I’d “NEVER” return to Alaska. Well, I am. I don’t know why, I mean, there are so many things to love about Texas. The birds, the weather, the thunder and lightening storms, the absolutely amazing way people MOVE OVER onto the shoulder and let ANYONE they think they might be holding up by them. Lots of stuff.
But this damn aching longing for those damn mountains. I am pulled back to those damned COLD mountains. And my life there. My little house, all of my friends, and my sister. AGGGGHH. I hate “failing” at stuff, but apparently I wasn’t cut out to be a statesider. There don’t seem to be any jobs in my field in this state. sigh. Life sucks sometimes.
And I haven’t even had a chance to go to Six Flags yet.
Canvas, do I ever miss that place too. Were it not for hating to take a grandchild that many miles from her grandparents I’m sure I’d have returned long before now.
Need a good neighbor that’s always got a cup of sugar or 1/4 cord of firewood to spare?
This is why, as much as I don’t want to live in the LA area again, I know better than to say “Never!” Because if I do, I KNOW I’ll end up back there. Maybe if I don’t say it, I won’t.
Well, at least you’re longing for a gorgeous place.
But, having been to both places (and currently thriving in one of them), I suggest you consider the Pacific Northwest. We got mountains and lots of trees and lakes, but not the cold and six month nights. Mr. singular and I love it here - you might want to take a look…
I really wish I could, I was born near Seattle, and my daughter lives in Portland Or. Unfortunately, I’ve blown my nest egg, and run out of Unemployment while searching for jobs in Texas. I didn’t know, that they don’t adhere much to environmental concerns.
Not to mention, the war has pretty much dried up contracts for cleaning up the DoD’s past sins, and is mostly going to Iraq now. My old job was happy to hear from me, and I’ll likely start there partime, until something fulltime opens up.
My other job may have something this fall or the spring semester also. So, for now, it’s a money thing.
What kinda idiot leaves their home state without securing a job first? Well, the kind running from a broken heart and the kind that is not thinking straight DUE to said broken heart, that’s what kind.
And yeah, I’m an idiot, and will remember the “never say never” thing.
And yeah Trunk, Texas is so little :D, if they cut Alaska in half though, it would STILL be the third largest state. (don’t get me started, after working on the slope, I have a zillion Alaskans vs. Texans jokes).
As much as I hated my small town, when I left I made sure I didn’t make any speeches about leaving for better things, etc, so I wouldn’t jinx myself and come back home with my tail between my legs.
What’s really funny is, that about the same time, Alaska was experiencing VERY unusual rains, and even thunder and lightening. Usually we just get drizzle, but my friends were instant messaging me telling me it was just like here. They even had some flooding.
*The winter! the brightness that blinds you,
The white land locked tight as a drum,
The cold fear that follows and finds you,
The silence that bludgeons you dumb.
The snows that are older than history,
The woods where the weird shadows slant;
The stillness, the moonlight, the mystery,
I’ve bade 'em good-bye - but I can’t.
There’s a land where the mountains are nameless,
And the rivers all run God knows where;
There are lives that are erring and aimless,
And deaths that just hang by a hair;
There are hardships that nobody reckons;
There are valleys unpeopled and still;
There’s a land - oh it beckons and beckons,
And I want to go back - and I will.*
That’s the sweetest thing!! Thanks, for the sentiment, but it’s alright. I’ve been rooming with my mom, who retired here, and earning my keep with my nest egg, and hard labor (who knew what misery painting houses would be at 90 degrees though?).
Really, though I said I was “never” going back, all my friends and family knew that I was leaving to escape the heartache aspect of it. It wasn’t, as another poster said, a matter where I burned my bridges or anything. In fact I emailed one job, and talked to another, and they said they’d be glad to have me back.
Even though it’s been kinda hard, the no luck finding a job in my field thing, I think I really needed to come down here to get my head straight about my boyfriend/best friend.
He also knows I’m coming home, and we’ve agreed to, no matter HOW hard it it, to stay away from each other until he knows what he wants. i know, I know, complicated
But I’m really alright with it. DAMN cold winters, but, I can alway vacation at 6 flags!!!
