Who's Who's Who?

I just got a letter from “International Who’s Who”.

My first impression was that this was some lame scheme to get me on some mailing list so I’d recieve The Watchtower for the rest of my life, but it’s from Jacksonville, NC, USA and what kind of organization sends spam mail halfway across the world?

Who are these people and what the hell do they want from me?

What they want is about $125 from you for the cheap edition and $200 (I haven’t checked lately) for the deluxe edition when it’s published in a year or so. Not to mention $35 for the office plaque, plus the paperweights and other assorted memorabilla.

A few years ago I got one of those for Who’s Who in the Midwest (I guess I wasn’t important enough to be in the National edition.) I dutifully filled everything out and returned it, then ignored the offers to buy at the special pre-publication price. Mrs. Kunilou ordered a copy for me as a birthday present, and now I regularly get two or three “update” solicitations a year.

Sounds a lot like the International Society of Poets.

When I was a young, gullible lass, I sent in a poem to them, and recieved a glowing letter in return. They went on and on about my poetic prowess, and informed me that I was so wonderful that they were going to include me in their next book. I was ecstatic. I was going to be the next Sylvia Plath! (without the oven-thing, though)

I even bought two books, one for me, and one for my proud mother. I recieved the book, and was massively dissapointed. I was given a small corner on a page filled with what, by no stretch of the imagination, could be called poetry. One “poem” was nothing but symbols. Just a bunch of “(%#%^%#@**&!” The others were just plain bad.

A couple of months later, and atricle in a magazine was condemming companies like this. They’re basically just out to sell overpriced books, and they depend on the thrill people get out of seeing their own name in print.

You can find International Who’s Who in most public libraries.
The most prestigious ones are Who’s Who (the British one since it has no adjective to describe it) or Who’s Who in America (which is published by Marquis, who publishes a lot of these.)

Be careful when you are asked to appear in Who Was Who.

Where I work there is a guy who has some mental problem and likes to razor out all the pages of Who’s Who Among Women. Something about the mentally ill and Who’s Who-type books.

There are some legitimate Who’s Who books. There are a lot of scams, too.

I’d guess the majority are books that are just an excuse to sell you a book. You’re welcome to send in your entry (unlike the “poetry contests,” which often require a purchse in order to be published), but you’ll never see the book unless you buy one.

The legitimate ones can be found in any good library. The others can only be found collecting dust on the shelves of their “honoree’s” bookcases.

Back in high school, I received a letter informing me that I’d been chosen to be included in this book (several of my friends got the same letter, BTW). I was unable to purchase the book, but one of my friends did. Guess what? My friend was in it, but I wasn’t. (sarcasm follows) Boy, was I disappointed!! (end sarcasm)

Yeah, I was. Whoopie. Me and about a **BILLION[\b] other bozos who filled out the info card. I thought it was a pretty prestigious thing at the time, but after my parents bought the book, plaque, and God knows what else, it seemed as if the Who’s Who people figured out a damn nice scam. I figure that if even **HALF[\b] of the people in that book bought the stuff, they made a fortune… and just for listing names.

Man, I gotta come up with an idea like that. I should be able to… I’m smart! And I have proof! After all, I’m in “Who’s Who”!

<sigh>

well, I guess I just proved that it means nothing to be in that book… hell, I screwed up bolding for crying out loud.

dammit