What? no mention of Rosie O’Donnell?
How this obnoxious, shrill, celebrity-fawning blob ever became a star is a mystery for the ages. Who was ever dumb enough to believe that fake “queen of nice” act? And she’s no better now that she’s let her inner-bitch out.
Proving to the world that lesbian soccer moms can be every bit as annoying, screechy and self-absorbed as heterosexual soccer moms is not one of the world’s greatest achievements.
Bob Saget.
He is banned from my world.
I can’t believe that nobody’s mentioned Madonna.
I mean, OK, so she can dance a little. That might make for a career as a dancer.
I can’t stand her voice, I can’t fathom why anyone would want to see a movie that had her in it, unless it was the MST3K factor.
But she just. won’t. go. away.
Stoid, your opinion, my opinion. I think she’s flat and loud. To me, unenjoyable.
Welby, Intaglio, I like Gilbert Godfried and Pauly Shore.
HATE Rosie O’Donnel
I think Kathy Lee is cute, but I would cut out her vocal cords and give her a lobotomy before spending a day with her. Well wait. She actually does have a good singing voice. So maybe an on/off switch.
George W ought to do stand up.
Oh gross! (I’m watching CSI Maimi right now)
Oh yeah, hate Jerry Jones. Just a bunch of money wanting to be a football coach. Shut up and let the guys play.
Anyways, all opinions. Some are reasonable, others aren’t. But, they’re all mine.
Jim Belushi. I understand he has a sitcom, but I’ve never watched it, so it’s possible he has some talent that I’m not giving him credit for. I just think it’s a bad precedent, younger sibs of dead celebrities becoming famous… “necro-nepotism”?
Carson Daly. The very epitome of why MTV is unwatchable today. Not only is he dull as dishwater, he’s pudgy-ugly, too.
Michael Bolton. Lemme guess, the trashy romance-cover mane of hair?
Joel Schumacher, Michael Bay, and all their directorial ilk. Hacks. But giganto-budget, really successful hacks. I can’t stand it…
Melanie Griffith. Her regressive speech mannerisms and body English have always bugged the hell out of me. The classic modern example of how any fundamentally unattractive and self-deprecating (but in an unfeminist, dumb way, as opposed to a witty, postmodern way) blonde can be considered a sex object. And that was even before she went with the collagen-injections “bee sting” look with her lips… bleccch! [Men, do you actually find that look attractive? Please explain this!] To me, she’s the showbiz mutant reincarnation of Lana Turner; I’ve never been able to connect the dots between Griffith and her biological mother, the stunning, elegant, and apparently intelligent Tippi Hedren.
Whew! That felt good, actually!
Melanie Griffith’s debut in Arthur Penn’s NIGHT MOVES is sorta charming, as she plays a provocative 14-year old with a killer body (and an underwater nude scene) vamping the hell out of poor middle-aged Gene Hackman. All downhill from there, I agree, but the perfect role for her.
slight hijack–
I was just thinking about beestung lips today, coupling them with pouffed-out hair and tan-in-a-bottle, and had the thought: are white actresses striving to attain exotic African beauty? Possible?
end hijack
Adam Sandler
Pauly Shore
Hmmm…I used to have a third name in the Unholy Trinity of “Comedy” but I musta blocked it out…
Gilbert Godfrey was great at Hugh Heffner’s roast. Seriously he gives the impression that he just decided on the spot to claim Ice-T had done his bit and that he is going to do it again because he believes in the strength of the material. It worked and it was hysterical. I hadn’t expected it at all. I’ve never seen him do any stand up but would like to given that one performance.
I’m not surprised by anyone’s career. American Idol proved that anyone can be made famous. Kelly’s single will be played on lots of radio stations and the video will be on TRL for at least two weeks.
That would be I Will Always Love You, not The Greatest Love Of All.
Jim Belushi was a member of the second City improv group, and he was decent on SNL. One of my alltime favorite funniets skits is his one about being the high school chesscoach, where he acts like the stereotype asshole football coach.
/Jim Belushi/
Pawn to Rook 4! Pawn to Rook 4!!
(After kid makes wrong move)
NNNNNNNOOOooooooooo!!!
/Jim Belushi/
And he was decent when he guested on ER last year.
I used to wonder about Steve Guttenberg, until I found out he was a Stonecutter.
oh yeah,
“Greatest Love” was a George Benson song. Gotta stop surfin’ with whisky and soda.
Belushi on ER? the auto accident one? that was good.
Bob Saget is actually pretty funny when he’s not on Disney-owned ABC. His stand-ups can be hilarious…
Carrottop?
For me,
Kevin Costner, and Keanu Reeves spring to mind. Flat line delivery anyone?
Helen Hunt too. Her forehead annoys the crap out of me, and I find her voice irritating too. Very few redeeming qualities there.
Stapp from Creed. He sings every song in the same overwrought pseudo-emotional mode that makes my ears bleed and my eyes roll.
I don’t think most of these suggestions fit the concept of the OP. The idea isn’t to talk about celebrities we hate or who have no talent, but to talk about celebrities whose careers don’t make sense.
For example:
Bob Saget is smarminess incarnate. He was smarmy on Full House and he was smarmy on America’s Funniest Videos. At the time, smarmy family sitcoms and smarmy family video shows were highly marketable. A + B = C for Career.
Gilbert Godfried and Rosie O’Donnell. Cf. welby1’s post, they are both loud and obnoxious. Loud and obnoxious is extremely marketable, these days.
Adam Sandler and Pauly Shore. Stupid and obnoxious is also a popular combination. Although it turns out that Sandler might have some acting talent.
The entirety lieu’s list falls under the category of stupid and good-looking. All of those guys are somebody’s conception of good-looking.
The only nomination that I think really fits is Carson Daly. As far as I can tell, he’s nothing more than a warm body with a mic. He’s not intelligent or funny, doesn’t interview well, knows absolutely nothing about music, and tops it off with being strikingly unattractive. It looks from here like MTV just pulled him in off the street, sent the stylists to work, and pushed him in front of a camera.
Sandra Berhard yeah. I think her niche market is militant lesbians. Awful awful. She’s so gross and incredibly unfunny.
Ellen DeGeneres – I can’t stand this woman and I’m glad she finally seems to have sunk into oblivion. This completely UNFUNNY comedian lost a sitcom, bitched and moaned it was because she was Gay and not because it just plain SUCKED… managed to get ANOTHER sitcom… and that one BOMBED… because it SUCKED and I’m sure she’s blaming that one on anti-gays as well. Her standup sucks, her acting sucks and please go away.
Bob Saget is on my list… he is pure pain to watch.
Shannon Elizbeth… show your tits in a movie… get a career. She is so incredibly awful and if you’ve ever seen her on a talk-show… she’s just do damn SHINY and VAPID… ugh…
John Carpenter… who green-lights these movies for theatrical release? Honestly… they are worse than so many straight-to-video B-movies…
Tea Leoni. So bland that you could smack her in the face with a 2x4 and her expression wouldn’t change. She couldn’t portray “burning” if you set her on fire. Dull, unattractive, and talentless.
What? I love Helen Hunt!
I also liked John Carpenter’s Vampire movie, but I must confess that I’ve never seen any of his other stuff.
So. That explains those two.
Hillary Clinton. Piece of shit, I married the Georgetown guy, maybe I can exploit my position and become famous/rule the world. Please get behind Martha Stewart! We don’t want to know about your views on running the world, raising children, etc.
Crawl back under the rock!!
Melanie Griffith.
Worst…actress…ever…
She has awsome tits though. Great tits.
I think this way about Jessica Alba from Dark Angel. She was the reason that thing flopped on its ass. She was such a terrible actress. She was hot, that’s a given, but there were no titties or bush because it was on network TV. God she was aweful…
Ever heard of “Halloween”? That was him.