Heh - I walk in this morning to a brooding man in our lunch area. He’s sipping his coffee and reading the paper. So I walk in and ask him what’s up? Why so glum?
His response: "Rebecca found my cache of nudey movies in our computer at home. "
:smack: Doh!
Heh, heh. My response: What did she say?
He said, “She was displeased but not wholly taken aback. She new I looked at porn on occasion but she didn’t know I had that much.”
I smacked him on the back and said, “Well at least she know’s your a normal guy…”
Now sitting in my office I wonder if I should have said something a little different? I only supposed normal men occasionally look at porn. Perhaps it’s a bit unnormal to store it on one’s computer…but I’m not sure. I’ll admit I’ll look at the occasional lude email sent by my disgusting brother in California, but I don’t spend hours and hours looking at categorized porn. So perhaps I should have kept my mouth shut.
How do I know if this guy’s porn habits are above and beyond what’s appropriate?
Question: Did I put my foot in my mouth? Should I have just played the good friend role and consoled him? I’m no judge of normality when it comes to internet porn, I don’t store it on computers or spend hours looking at it …
Married folk: Does purusing internet porn by your SO bother you?
Its hard to know what normality is when it comes to porn, that’s for sure. That being said, I think I can safely describe your friend’s behaviour as being close to the ‘complete imbecile’ end of the porn-consumers behaviour chart. Busted by your missus for stashing porn on the home pc, that is pretty funny. He must think his wife is a complete computer illiterate.
I personally don’t know any married couples who openly share an interest in porn, although I am sure there are plenty out there. At the same time, I think most married couples are probably fine with the SO taking a sneaky porn peak on the DL, they just don’t want to see a massive, cross-referenced and annotated collection assail them when they’re trying to pay the phone bill online. This would be my attitude.
There are of course a sizable number of people who are completely not alright with porn at all. If Rebecca is in this category then it could be an expensive mistake. I am assuming she is not, as it seems incredibly stupid and disrespectful to run that risk otherwise.
I think your comment probably made him feel better so I wouldn’t worry about it too much. In regards to internet porn viewing by my SO? I would be surprised if I didn’t find tons of it on his computer. I think it is pretty typical of men these days. Doesn’t bother me in the least.
I don’t see why it’s a big deal. I have a folder on my laptop sitting right on the desktop. It’s called Porn. Inside this folder is nearly 10 gigs worth of videos, pictures, and stories. Occasionally my husband points out I’m running out of the harddrive space, and maybe I should delete a few vids, but I haven’t yet. He’s even helped me find some good porn occasionally. I’m pretty sure he’s got his own collection somewhere, but I’ve never asked.
I’m in the camp where I know my SO watches porn, but I’ve seen some of it and it’s not my thing at all. As long as it doesn’t affect our sex life or everyday activities it’s fine, but I’d rather not be confronted with it when I’m trying to pay the phone bill either.
My husband has plenty of porn (most of it short movie clips) on our computer somewhere. My only problem with it, as The Cocky Watchman says, is if there are pop ups of graphic images on the computer when I want to use it. And, of course, I don’t want my son finding it (he can find his own porn like God intended, thank you very much!). When the kid got to be around 8 or 9 and started using the computer, I told my husband the porn had to go into a password protected folder, and as far as I know, it has.
Do you use Windows XP or Vista? Just set up two separate secure accounts to log in. Otherwise there’s really no way to hide it from anyone who knows how to do a “Search for Files” containing the term “dildo”.
But he wasn’t lying to his wife, he was simply trying to respectfully keep it out of her sight, right? The only thing he did wrong was not hiding it carefully enough. I certainly don’t need to know the exact number of gigabytes of porn my SO has.
Your work friend is just going through the same thing that thousands of men worldwide go through all the time. Dan Savage’s “Savage Love” column runs letters all the time from people who have been caught looking at porn on the web, and from people who have discovered that someone they know looks at porn on the web. In more than a few cases, it’s adults finding their elderly father’s porn stash on his home computer. Link
Here is a link to the “Savage Love” columns containing “porn” and “computer.” Read and enjoy. Some of them are pretty funny.
I think Savage’s take on internet porn in this column covers the issue pretty well:
It’d be no big deal to me. I don’t go onto my husband’s computer, but if he’s got a juicy stash of lewdness on there, that’s fine.
I guess I’d feel differently if I had a moral objection to porn (I don’t) or if we were having unaddressed intimacy issues (we aren’t) or if I felt he was spending vast amounts of time of money on it (he’s not).
A guy I know was caught by his wife with (what he described as) kinda extreme porn on his computer. I didn’t ask for details, just commiserated. Then he told me that he was in the clear, because he told his wife it was all stuff I had sent him. Fucker. His wife never liked me to begin with.
Heh - I walk in this morning to a brooding man in our lunch area. He’s sipping his coffee and reading the paper. So I walk in and ask him what’s up? Why so glum?