I don’t know if it’s true that people think that far ahead (certainly not passionately enough to make it “the third rail”), but even if you’re right the point remains unchanged.
Bottom line is that people value SS to the extent that they’re concerned about getting the benefits for themselves. So you can’t cite concern about this issue as an instance of society valuing old people - which is what Freddy was doing. This is just people looking out for themselves.
Agreed.
I just think parenthood is basically a religion these days. Is it better than the days when children were seen as dispensable and nobody cared much if they were abused? Of course, but it’s definitely got out of hand.
When the current crop of children grows up in 10-20 years nobody will care about them anymore, since they’ll just be responsible and corrupt adults. They will focus on saving the next generation. So I don’t really feel any jealousy of them either.
Exactly! I was an asshole when I was a kid and I knew kids who were even bigger assholes. I think adults on the whole are far more kind and compassionate than children - this is why it’s more difficult to forgive an adult when they f*ck up. It’s just expected from a child to be insufferable and selfish.
I know my children are very glad that there is Social Security, Medicare and other programs for the old folks. Otherwise, they would have to provide for me and my husband personally.
I would not want to be a child nowadays, and it was a sufficiently frustrating experience back when I was one.
Pampered pet / Bird in gilded cage ≠ god.
You’ve made it very clear that that’s what you think. Do you have any evidence to back this up, other than just “Oh, everyone knows…”?
And the rest of us were just happy to survive school and come home to parents who loved them.
You’re actually coming across here like you have an irrational hatred of children.
I don’t love being around children, as a general rule. But the notion that children receive more attention or protection than they deserve is patently absurd to me. Caring about people is not a zero sum game. Looking out for the needs of children does not necessitate neglecting the needs of adults.
Forgive me if it’s been pointed out in this thread and I overlooked it, but isn’t the Baby On Board sign not for other drivers but to indicate to emergency responders to check the back seat? Kind of like those tot finder stickers people used to put in the kids’ bedrooms?
I have a kid. I love my kid. My kid can be an unholy pain in the ass. I often feel I am the only parent who can admit it, that the other parents look at me like I have 3 heads when I say it. There are lots of hugs and "I love you"s and stuff, and while my love is unconditional, there are days that I love my kid, but don’t really like my kid. And you know what? Some days I’m a shitty parent too. If I’m not the favorite parent that day, no big deal.
I don’t know if things are different now, as I’ve never been a parent in different eras, but I do feel that any criticism of a kid is personalized by just about every parent I know. One family member has a horrible asshole of a kid and I made the mistake of saying it and it did not go over well (I said it better than that, but you wouldn’t have thought so!) Like the kid is incredibly rude and disrespectful to me and the adult gets mad at me for “fighting” with the kid. Um, no. Your kid is way out of line and I told her to knock it off and she cried to you like a baby and you can’t handle that your kid can be shitty. What teenager isn’t shitty from time to time? The next few years until the teen comes out on the other side are going to be torture.
I’m not a parent, but you sound like a pretty normal one to me.
Perhaps this thread is supposed to be a commentary on the whole ‘‘helicopter parent’’ phenomenon? I have no doubt some people feel their children can do no wrong. I think we live in a society where, particularly among the more wealthy, a lot more investment and energy can be put into kids than was possible in the past. I’ve seen some pretty remarkable things as an employee wherein some parents seem to feel it’s appropriate to apply to jobs for their adult children and such. But that would be a problem of extending childhood beyond traditional age ranges, not devaluing life automatically after a kid turns 18. The opposite, in fact.
The tone of the OP sounds much more like ‘‘It’s not faaaaair children get more attention and I don’t!’’ I see more evidence that adults behave like indulgent children than I do that children receive too much attention.
The “Baby on Board” sign is there to warn other drivers that the driver of that vehicle is possibly distracted, or possibly driving more gently than typical.
I saw one the other day that said “Baby All Up in This Bitch!” and I laughed.
Not my experience at all. Around here, parents I know often are given leave to supervise other parent’s children, if they are trusted - which means disciplining them when they get out of line, just as you would your own.
Of course I have never told another parent their kid was “an asshole” - even “saying it better” - the focus IMO is on their behaviour and not their personality. Telling anyone that a loved family member is an “asshole” (particularly on a brief aquantance) is always going to be somewhat confrontational, no?
When you are a parent, sometimes it seems you can do no right - if you love your kid, you are treating him like a “god” and/or spoiling him; if you protect your kid, you are a “helicopter parent”; if you don’t love or protect your kid, you are “neglectful”. Of course, if your kid does anything wrong it is because of your parenting, and if he does anything right it is in spite of your parenting.
The real problem isn’t one or the other of these, I think, but that the whole topic is so suffused with anxiety.
Me, I try to muddle along, dispensing advice when I can, discipline when I think it necessary, hugs as appropriate. I try not to worry too much and give him some freedoms.