Here I sit, two rooms away from a kitchen full of dirty dishes and crumbs of various yumminess, with my past three hours having been spent being continuously dive-bombed by two obsessive/compulsive flies. I am neither wearing perfume nor any particularly strong smelling hair product. They land on my nose, on my arms and even the top of my head, and seem to adore following me to the bedroom (unless the ones in there are different – I’m speciesist enough to not be able to tell the little fellas apart) and interrupting my sleep by landing intermittently on my ear, nose, forehead and anything else unexposed.
This could not possibly be a good survival strategy that would be chosen for in evolution, when they’re obviously losing eating time by tormenting me. What the hell do flies want from humans?