For me, I think most of my discomfort does come from some weird guilt. Where I work there are a subset of people consisting of about 90 individuals. Three are black. One in particular I work with intermittently.
When I refer to him by name, and someone doesn’t know who he is, I am forced to describe him. I start with thin. I move to soft spoken. I continue with average height. I avoid “black” for some stupid reason despite the fact that it would eliminate 87 of 90 people.
I think it comes down to intent. If, in your story, the witness put “African American” because she was making sure you knew that it was one of “them” that did that to your car, then the description is inflammatory. If it’s a situation where you can see that the guy is just using the term to make clear the individual that they are referring to, and it provides a defining characteristic, is there any problem with that?
I live in an African town of at least 50,000 people or so, of which exactly 14 of arn’t black.
I expect to be called “the white lady”, and that is what I am for about 99% of interactions. But when I get refered to as “the computer teacher” or “my friend” or “my neighbor”, it really means a lot to me. Because I know everywhere I go, the first thing people think is “what the hell is this white lady doing here?” And it wears on you- knowing that every single interaction you make- right down to buying tomatoes at the market- is some big deal with all kinds of implications. And it get tireing feeling like you have to explain yourself whenever you go. Sometimes you just want to be another person on the street- not that wierd white lady. Sometimes you want to be another teacher at the school- not the white teacher.
While of course my situation is vastly different than an Africa-American’s, I can see why someone would prefer not to be primarily identified by their race.
I try not to use race descriptors, to be honest. But yes, black people will casually drop race in a conversation, just like anyone else. Depending on the context, it can be neutral or negative. Rarely is it positive, though.
My mother often wants to know the race of the people I talk about in my biweekly conversations with her. I’m sure she’s mostly motivated by innocent curiousity–wanting to know as much about the about the cast of characters in my life as possible–but I’m also sure that it helps her determine the “good” guys from the “bad” guys. She has espoused anti-white beliefs to me, so I have good reason to feel like this.
First off, there was no “outrage”. I don’t see how you interpreted outrage from “kind of bothered me”.
Secondly, I can’t give you a rational reason why race is more provocative than gender or car type. That’s just one of those things that just is.
I don’t think I’m especially sensitive. I think if you were a black person, your ears would probably perk up any time someone referred to you by your race. Race is political and carries baggage, there’s no denying it.
I have a website, and I get all kinds of interesting feedback. Once, I got an email from someone who said I was a “cool woman of color”. Yes, she meant it as a compliment and I took it as such, but it was still kind of weird. I can understand “woman”, because most people construct identity around gender (I am woman, hear me roar). But the writer (who I later found out was white) would not have said “cool white woman”. If I had been Jewish or Asian, she probably would not have referenced these things either. But my “color” was a notable thing about me, and she felt it deserved to be mentioned. Again, no outrage felt, not keeping me up at night, but nonetheless weird.