WHY are psome people sexually aroused by children?

Great Debates
1

This is sort of an offshoot of the thread concernign the “To Catch A Predator” show.

WHY does a person (male or female, although in my experience it’s usually male) decide he wants to have sex with someone who is not physically or mentally capable of it?

I am not generally pro-death-penalty. (I know, if you are for it in some circumstances - take yourselves elsewhere; this isn’t your issue).

If a person attempts any sexual activity with a child - they need to die. Preferably before they reproduce.

Please tell me why I am wrong in feeling this way.

2

Two questions you’ve asked:

  1. Why are there people who are sexually attracted to children?
  2. Why shouldn’t these people be killed?

The answer to 1, as far as I know, is “no one knows,” though it seems there are both environmental and genetic factors at work. But it may be that pedophilia is like a fetish–it’s just this inexplicable sexual desire a person is saddled with and can’t be habituated out of. People don’t know where fetishes come from either.

As for question 2, aside from the general moral repugnancy of the death penalty, I could offer this argument: The child could concievably be healed of the harm that came to him or her as a result of the action, but the person who is executed never can. That seems unjust I guess? But it’s hard for me to say since I am against the death penalty in all cases anyway, on similar grounds.

3

I imagine there are many reasons, and we might need a flow chart to explore this. Some may be attracted to the pre-pubescent shape which caught their eye as they approached puberty in 6th or 7th grade. So why couldn’t that be resolved by dating a woman with a petite, linear figure?

Perhaps an experienced woman with a petite, linear figure lacks the virginal quality that persons of many cultures value, and the likelihood that a post-pubescent woman is a virgin is fractional.

Then again, the idea of instructing a young person far less experienced might be appealing. Sad and inappropriate, but appealing to nervous, self-conscious, inexperienced adults.

And there are certainly mean, manipulative people who will shamelessly seduce, coerce, and force children and teens to service adult needs that another informed adult would say no to.

4

Define child. The age of consent is 16 in over 30 states in the US. I wouldn’t have sex with a 16 year old for various reasons (although it is legal to do so in Indiana since 16 is the age of consent, and there have been cops in their 40s who had sex with their 16 year old stepdaughters in this state who weren’t prosecuted for statutory rape since that wasn’t a crime), but to some people that is pedophilia. It gets to be pretty absurd, because pretty soon people are labeling every guy who glances at an attractive 17 year old a pedophile.

As far as why people want sex with people pre-pubescent, the reasons I have heard are that they are drawn to the power dynamic and/or because they are repeating trauma they experienced when they are young. But there could be other reasons too. But I really don’t know. This website has some unbiased, professional info (no witch hunts, just a desire to stop the mental damage sex abuse does to people).

http://www.childmolestationprevention.org/pages/focus_on_the_cause.html

There was a medical story a decade ago about a pedophile who said his urges stopped after he had a brain tumor removed.

5

Pedophilia is a glitch in the brain arising from (like anything else) a combination of genes/womb/environmental effects. One can see the differences in fMRI scans between pedos and normal people. Just like with gay or straight people they don’t wake up one day and decide they want to have sex with kids, especially considering the potential consequences. It’s a compulsion. But imagine what a living hell that would be: your only sexual attraction are 10 year olds and you* know* it’s wrong. So you either become a monster and go to prison (if caught) or hate yourself (if not), be chaste for the rest of your life, find some way to rationalize it, or kill yourself.

6

One hypothesis I’ve heard for why it’s mostly men who are attracted to children is that in some ways children have an exaggeration of female qualities. Shorter & less muscular than men, smooth skin, high pitched voices, etc.

7

Gotta wonder how they feel about just about every female anime character ever drawn.

8

I’ve read the posts so far…I just don’t understand.

I was sexually abused in my early teens by a guy in his 30’s. Why did he choose a baby? There were older girls who wanted him…and were angry at me. Why choose a kid when there there were older, available women?

9

I’m sorry for what happened to you: I can’t imagine being in that position.

With respect, though, in my mind, a teenaged girl is not a baby. Historically, girls could and did marry in their early-to-mid teens. I assume you’re using “baby” in its metaphorical, not literal sense? I don’t say that to lessen what happened to you or anyone, just that I don’t think it’s useful to treat a 13-y-o in the same category as a 2-year-old.

Some men abuse children BECAUSE of the power difference. A man can manipulate and control a child in ways he can’t manipulate and control a healthy adult woman. Some people get a sexual thrill from power. I don’t understand it any more than you do, though.

10

nod Sometimes, I think, it’s a perversion of the joy of teaching. You know how awesome it is to guide a child, to teach them a skill (like tying their shoes) or concept? The feeling that, in some small way, you have made a permanent difference in their life? There’s really nothing like it. It’s simultaneously humbling and a big ego boost.

To some pedophiles, it’s a variation on that. They’re “teaching” the child all about sex - bringing them from tabula rasa to sexually experienced. They get the ego boost from that, plus they get their rocks off. Add to it the fact that, as Dr. Drake said above, a child is a lot easier to manipulate and control than a grown woman; and is a lot less likely to call him on his bullshit than someone more experienced. Children love and trust unconditionally pretty much by default.

11

Like others have said, many believe it is a desire for total control over another human being. There are probably many attributing factors which makes it hard to discern the true nature of this mental illness.

I know it might get me some hate mail, but I do feel a bit of empathy. It’s obviously an incurable illness they have no control over. Many pedophiles were victims of sexual molestation themselves. I reject the idea of ‘evil’ or that some people are just ‘monsters.’ I also reject that we will never find a cure.

It’s obviously an illness that will require some type of advanced brain surgery (that might be decades away) and we are making strides in understanding the causes of other mental illnesses (such as psychopathy).

I don’t believe in the death penalty at all. I do feel a great deal of rage to people who harm children, and perhaps I could be pushed over the line if something happened to a family member. I think this is human nature.

I do think we would be much farther ahead to accept that there are pedophiles in the world. We would be much safer if we allowed them to be open about their illness and get help. There also seems to be little interest to study this disorder because of how controversial it is.

I am in the camp that believes that pedophilia is caused by a lack of social interaction with older females. There is a guy I knew in high school. He never had a girl friend and he was good looking. I thought he was gay or had Aspberger’s (he was also very awkward). Being a ‘nice guy’ I started talking to him. He talked me into playing an MMO with him (Final Fantasy XI) and that’s how we communicated for the most part (in game) after we graduated.

He was a bit odd. He liked kids cartoons (watched cartoon network) and acted really childish sometimes. He would pretend to have a girlfriend when I knew for sure he didn’t. I once tried to introduce him to a girl from my college and god was that a disaster. It was so awkward I just decided to make up an excuse for him to leave. I felt bad for the guy.

We didn’t talk for a while after that. I had heard he tried to kill himself and was in the hospital for a while. When he got out I tried to get a hold of him, but no longer had his number. I searched online and found his name on some message board. it was the same name he used in Final Fantasy XI (it was unique). It was on a board about child porn (well not real child porn, but like Japanese animation).

I didn’t know how to feel about it. At first I wanted to call the police or something, but really I just pitied him. I decided not to attempt to contact him after that.

I think what he needs is to meet a woman and get some confidence. Of course I wouldn’t want any of my female friends dating a pedophile. I personally don’t want to associate with him, but then I feel like I wish he did have some friends to get him out of whatever rut he is in.

I don’t want him to die. Maybe I wish he was getting professional help (perhaps he is). Anyway, that’s my personal experience with it and why I feel pedophilia is caused or realted to antisocial/avoidant mental disorders.

12

Bullshit. As a kid, I neither loved nor trusted anyone but my parents and my grandparents. Did I like other people? Sure. But I did not “love and trust” them “unconditionally,” not by any stretch of the imagination.

There was a time when pre-marital sex was very rare for women, and therefore all men could expect to marry a virgin and to get to have the experience of “teaching” her sexually. Today, this is less and less common, but there are still young women (of legal age) who are virgins and could fulfill this desire in a man so inclined. So I don’t think it’s a given that men who want to do this would necessarily turn to children - nor do I think a man is sexually corrupt for wanting to “teach” a woman (or the other way around.)

13

You know, ironically enough I find it very strange and fascinating how some people are so utterly repulsed by it. I’m not trying to be ironic or anything, and I’m not trying to preach against it, I just find it hard to understand how these people get so extremely violent and do so many things when it comes to child abuse.

There are so many bad people in the world, who have murdered, done extremely negligent actions, maimed people, stolen millions, committed horrific animal abuse etc. I have never reserved special contempt for child molestors and I am not ashamed to say that, particularly where the child is over 12 and perfectly willing.

14

The current-day media exploitationism centered around child molesters/“predators” is basically catering to the parts of our brains that made our ancestors gather to watch public beheadings, quarterings, stonings, etc and cheer when gladiators hacked each other to pieces. People love the idea of revenge and “justice” (brutality against those who they dislike), and nowadays child molesters are the only people around who have nobody to stick up for them - therefore, they get targeted with this bloodlust openly. This is not to say that they haven’t done anything wrong. In the past, the public bloodlust was directed against people who were genuinely innocent - blacks, Jews, gays, immigrants, you name it. Nobody objected to this because people were much more bigoted than they are now.

Today, persecution of ethnic minorities is not really socially acceptable, but that drive to persecute someone has absolutely not gone away. So, it gets channeled towards pedophiles/child molesters/suspected child molesters.

15

I agree to some extent. My problem is when the person is helpless.

I feel the same way about those with mental handicaps being raped. It’s one thing to have sex with someone who is consenting, but to take advantage of someone’s ignorance is entirely different.

This issue is a lot more complicated than it appears on the surface. As I get older, I find myself less attracted to girls my own age. Maybe I am a male pig, but there is something definitely more appealing about an 18yo girl than a girl in her late twenties.

I don’t know if it’s the virginal qualities that others have mentioned. Maybe it’s my own insecurities of wanting to date someone who is inexperienced and can’t judge my own sexual ability.

Maybe i am being a little TOO open here.

I’ve never really found the appeal of girls much younger. I dated a freshman when I was a senior in high school, and that was enough to turn me off of the practice. Who would want to date a girl who is childish and vapid.

16

Wow. That seems to sum it up quite well. At least in regards to WHY we persecute pedophiles. We should still try to find out the root cause of pedophilia and wipe it out. Like I said: it’s going to take brain surgery most likely.

17

When the perception of pedophiles shifts from “monsters” to “people with a mental defect,” some progress can be made in correcting it. But as long as the public acts like they are “beasts” that need to be “put down,” we’ll never get anywhere.

18

(bolding mine)

Don’t you think their acts are part of the reason for this, not just the lack of people to stand up for people who rape and kill children? “Not to say that they haven’t done anything wrong.”? A bit of an understatement. Nobody objects because they believe these people are getting what they deserve, meeting a much higher standard than past discrimination against the innocent. The first part about exploitationalism is correct, but in some cases, these people should be persecuted.

19

I have seen a surge in the number of females having sex with underage males recently.

For some reason I much less concerned about it. I fantasized about having sex with my teacher in middle school. I would not have felt it to be a traumatic experience if that had happened. Even looking at these events from an adults perspective. When I see males being ‘raped’ by their older female teachers… I feel more jealousy than rage.

Yet I do feel a great deal of rage when a male teacher takes advantage of a female student.

Doesn’t that say something about the misogynistic nature of our society? That we can’t fathom a young female desiring and enjoying an older man in the same way we can easily rationalize a young boy desiring and enjoying sex with an adult female?

I know this is my opinion, but I do feel like others I have talked to feel the same way.

I also think that females desire young boys for different reasons. I think it has a lot to do with them desiring attention from someone young and handsome. Perhaps they also desire a form of control they can’t have over their husband.

20

My only problem is that persecuting them doesn’t change them. It only makes them less likely to tell people about their problem thus making it less likely they get help.

Though, I can’t say what I would do if my friend from high school would have told me he was a pedophile. I’d probably stop talking to him, further alienating him. That would probably not be anymore helpful.

It’s similar to those who have empathy for terrorist attacks. Often these people were witness to atrocities against innocent people. They then resolve to take innocent lives themselves in retaliation.

By rationalizing their behavior you are subjecting yourself to ridicule. No one wants to say: perhaps pedophiles shouldn’t be marginalized and instead be encouraged to seek professional help (I hear shock therapy has been effective in some cases). If they do that they are admitting empathy for a people who are almost universally hated.

I do find it strange that murderers are somehow more empathetic than child molesters. Why is that? If someone killed someone I think they are more likely to have people protest his execution than if he raped a child. I don’t get why one is worse than the other.