Why are some travelers (especially, it seems, men) so uppity about how much others pack?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I was in line at the airport baggage check-in yesterday. In front of us was an older man, and in front of him were some 20-somethings, many with multiple suitcases.

At least 2-3 times, he turned around and chuckled at us, shook his head in disbelief, and asked “why do they have to carry so much luggage?” “Where are they going that they need all that luggage?”

He also proudly pointed out he was checking in one bag.

Maybe he was annoyed because he felt the people in front of him were holding up the line checking in their luggage, though frankly, the service was very fast, and the line was not long. After the fourth time making what by then was getting to be a boring and dull observation, I very subtly pointed out that the passengers were carrying passports, and perhaps they were going to out of the country for a long time, hence all the extra luggage. He made one more “ho ho ho, but does she really need all those suitcases” comment, then that was that.

I bring this up because there have been countless times where I have gone on trips, and had another member of the traveling party, or someone from my company, proudly point out how small HIS luggage was, and how huge my suitcase was (I never bring anything more than one check-in bag, and one carry-on). My father-in-law has done this to me, too. The accuser is always male.

Now, I admit, I am not the world’s most efficient packer. I like to bring lots of books and travel with work to complete while on the road.

I also admit I am slightly neurotic (or SENSIBLE?) in that I often bring an extra set of clothes for business trips, “just in case”, such as something spills on a shirt, or I find a hole in my pants, and need to wear something else rather than be humiliated and have my career ruined by wearing faulty clothing while doing a presentation. I guess I’m a “better safe than sorry” packer, and would rather carry a little extra clothing with me for a trip than realize on the last day I don’t have a clean shirt to wear.

I’m certainly no Imelda Marcos, carrying along hundred of pairs of shoes in 3 suitcases for a 2 night trip or anything like that, but I do tend to overpack.

But I carry my gear. I am willing to tip a little extra to the Skycap or the shuttle driver if I’m carrying an especially heavy load.

Here’s my question: why do so many people care so much? I realize some of it is good natured ball breaking, but there’s always a little truth behind a joke.

I mean, is it considered “macho” to travel with a as little luggage as possible? Do you get annoyed by people that carry more luggage than you? If so, why does it bother you that much?

Please advise.

2

Add me to the “why do they care?” list.

My dad has an aunt who over the last 20 years would come to visit, ostensibly for a weekend, or a week and the trips usually dragged on for 3 weeks or more. She is a nosey, negative, unpleasant woman with plenty of money but always stayed with first my Grandma then my parents. Of course she brought several larger bags on every trip.

We would all loathe the visits, commiserate in other rooms about her vicious comments, her attitude of entitlement, and her talent for upsetting her sisters. So much to dislike about this woman. But my Dad’s nickname for her?

“Suitcases from Hell.”

3

I think us guys use vacations to escape the trappings of our daily lives, and take as little as possible with us. When we see people taking what appears to be everything they own along for the ride, its weird.

Plus we all secretly want an excuse to have to wear the same clothes for a few days straight. :smiley:

4

I’ve never seen anyone complain about hold luggage. I do, however, get pissed off with people who bring in numerous pieces of cabin luggage and cram them into the spaces above other peoples seats.

5

I’m female.

I’m obsessed with packing light. The greatest achievement achievement of my entire life was a month in Mali, basically camping, with nothing but a small school book-bag. I’m hoping one day to achieve total lightness and spend months on the road living out of a lunch sack.

I admit, I do look down on heavy packers. It’s a comfort zone thing. Packing a ton of stuff strongly implies a small comfort zone. When I see an over-packer, I see someone who requires a lot of STUFF to get through the day. I see someone who is uncomfortable with the unfamiliar, and is willing to weight themselves down just so that they do not have to encounter new things. I see fear and insecurity- fear that every contingency must be planned for, fear that the place they are going will not have the things they need, fear that something unplanned could occur.

And all this makes me think of a fussy, needy, over-cautious, person.

On a practical level, too many bags absolutely DO keep you from doing stuff. It makes you slow, less-mobile, more likely to be targeted by thieves, more likely to have to pay for cabs and porter, less likely to be able to change plans, and in my mind less likely to have amazing experiences- which to me is the point of travel. Packing heavy is like giving yourself a voluntary disability. I always figure bags are 100% guaranteed to be a pain in the ass, whereas the extra stuff I pack only has an X% chance of helping- the odds are always in favor of packing light.

And as a light packer, I always end up “watching your stuff” for a minute or “helping you with this bag” or “holding your purse” because you’ve packed more shit than you can deal with. No thanks!

Yeah, it’s snobby. I feel the same way about picky eaters, non-travelers, and everyone else who lets their personal fussiness get in the way of a good time.

6

Yes, it’s usually men who are down on people packing a lot of stuff, and I can’t help but think it’s because they are frequently called upon to carry someone else’s stuff, or at least help out with it (watch this for a minute, hold this, etc.) and I can’t blame them for being put off by it.

From an early age I was expected to haul my own crap around without help. As a result, I learned to pack light. I don’t like to travel with more than I can comfortably carry by myself, and even if I’m female I still get the “watch this a minute” and “can you get that other suitcase” crap. Look, it’s your stuff, YOU deal with it. If you want me to act as your personal skycap you can pay me for it.

While there may be some situations where you have to travel with significant luggage they are far less common than the average tourist thinks.

7

I feel pretty much the same as even sven. In my case it was a virtue established by my parents (both because there were 6 kids and because my mom is pretty anti-stuff) and reinforced by having 3 older brothers–I’ve spent my whole life competing with the machismo of teenage boys. I know I am somewhat irrational and am pretty successful about not judging other people on this–I am sure I am a wuss by some of their metrics–but you won’t catch me with luggage with wheels (barring some sort of physical disability).

8

I’m pro-light-packing (though I do check a bag) but I don’t shoot off my mouth in front of a bunch of strangers in an airport about how awesome I am and how people with a mule train of baggage are idiots.

9

Other people at the airport–nope, don’t even think about that since I have no idea where they are going, and they indeed might need that much luggage.

But if you are I are traveling together, say a one or two day business trip and I walk up with a simple carry on bag, and you have to ‘check’ luggage. Yeah I would be concerned. First off now I have to wait for you at the other end to claim your bag which would piss me off. Secondly it would make me question your judgement in that this is a one or two day trip, how much shit do you need? But I wouldn’t say anything to you, this would be all internal thought.

Most of my travel is a 3 hour flight, then involves another 3 hour drive typically, so waiting an extra 30 minutes for your bag to show up will not impress me.

10

Every GF I’ve ever had brought 3-8 times as much stuff as I did on trips, and it wasn’t so much the carrying the stuff (thought I’d need to do some of that) but the things we couldn’t easily do, like walk a couple of hundred feet across an airport, or share a cab with another couple, or get off the goddamned plane and not waste 2% of our vacation waiting at the baggage carousel.

I feel like breaking up with certain women all over again now.

11

When my wife and I go anywhere, I use one small bag (actually, a sports bag) and my wife always criticizes me for not taking more (suppose we get invited to meet the Queen and you have nothing to wear) and she fills two large (ok, medium large) suitcases. Guess who gets to schlep them.

One difference is that she wears only slacks or jeans (to protect from mosquitos when we take our annual vacation in Barbados) and will not wear one more than once, while I wear shorts exclusively and I have these wonderful bathing shorts that are really suitable almost everywhere. I also brave the elements wearing ordinary shoes to get down the driveway to the taxi, while she insists of wearing boots and packing shoes. Two weeks ago we went to Myrtle Beach and USelssIar charged us $70 each way for our three checked bags.

12

I can pack exceptionally lightly, and I do, but why should I have to because YOU think I am carrying to much? I am not asking you to carry it and as for the inconvenience, well, I’m sorry, but I do check it all. I never ask my SO to help me carry it (though of course he does), but if we fly together, I carry my own damn stuff.

I also do pack extra things. Even for a one night trip I’ll throw in an extra shirt. This is experience talking - I’ve been in places where my one shirt got ripped or stained and then I have no way around it. But I don’t pack 5 extra shirts or anything like that.

The snootiness over this issue seems ridiculous to me. I certainly understand the scorn for someone carrying 5 bags for a week long trip, but say if I go to India, I sure as hell am filling two large suitcases for me as well as a carry-on - that’s at least three weeks there, plus I simply cannot go without bringing lots of gifts, it just isn’t done, and I cannot come back without tons of gifts.

When I visit my aunts in Colorado, I take one of those small bags with wheels, which I check, and a backpack for the plan ride. They are not too full on the way out but on the way back you bet they are, filled with gifts for me, and sometimes they even give me an extra bag. That extra big is filled solely with gifts for me and my SO.

Nope. Not going to apologize for packing whatever I feel is necessary. I promise you, however, I will never ask anyone else to carry my stuff (unless I pay them!)

13

It’s a guy thing. You wouldn’t understand.

But it goes along with the gene for packing a car. Guys just don’t feel right unless they’ve repacked the car at least three times before a trip, trying to get the absolute most efficient arrangement of components possible.

14

Hey, I have zero problem if you’re carrying/taking care of your own stuff. Zero problem with that. And I’ve been on business trips where we had to pack equipment and supplies and there was just no way around checking some of it or taking turns with it. That’s fine. And a three-week trip does demand more stuff than a weekend.

Exception made for my spouse, who is disabled and yes, would have trouble carrying even a small bag for very long. He also has to carry medical items that most people don’t, and they take up some room (and invariably attracts extra scrutiny from security). But his luggage is less of a problem than trying to get him a scooter for long terminal walks and the like.

What cheeses me off is a three-day, informal trip that “requires” a companion to have 4 suitcases and I’m relegated to unwilling babysiter or porter. THAT I object to.

As for the dissing of rolling luggage - Hey, it’s a wonderful thing. My carrying has wheels. I don’t always use them, but they are nice as an option.

A lot of it boils down to “don’t be a jerk”.

15

Nonononono! Now that’s just downright obnoxious and would piss me off, too. I don’t mind carrying my aunt’s luggage, who’s had double knee surgery. I won’t carry my girlfriend’s!

I especially don’t understand the dissing of rolling luggage. It was a great invention! Even when you’re not carrying a lot! Technology is wonderful.

16

I see it as a weakness in logical thinking skills down to the point of ignorance and that is not admirable. Most females I know pack at least two outfits for every single day of the trip which is completely unnecessary. You don’t need two different outfits every single day plus, I promise they have washers and dryers wherever you are going in case you get into a real bind. You also don’t need three bottles of sunscreen and two bottles of shampoo. They have stores that sell that stuff wherever you are going if you get into a worse case scenario. It simply doesn’t take much stuff to survive and have a great time if you think it through.

The problem that it causes for other people (causalities of the mentality) is the hassle of hauling it all around which is especially bad in airports. Escorting a herd of elephants through a major airport is not a fun thing especially if it isn’t yours. You also run into the very real risk these days of being overweight on luggage or paying for additional luggage at check-in. Frantically repacking one overstuffed bag into another to make it lose three pounds is not fun and I have had to do that twice.

I can pack myself for a 7 day trip in less than 10 minutes. It isn’t that hard. I am the world’s foremost expert on what I wear and what I need day to day.

17

I care about what other people pack only to the extent I have to be personally burdened by it.

18

(removed duplicate post - Rico)

19

I don’t care, really.

But my mother. * sigh * Last time she visited me, she was going to be here for five days. This is Florida. All she needed was a couple pairs of shorts, a few t-shirts, jammies, undies, and maybe some flip flops. I already had all the beach supplies she could possibly need and had gone out to buy her a couple different swimsuits to wear – she didn’t have time to find any and they were off season in Ohio already – so I just got two of 'em because I didn’t know which one she’d like and I figured I could simply return whatever she didn’t like (which I did).

She brought all of her jeans, *all *of her shorts, all of her underwear and at least 72 pairs of socks. She wore one pair of socks once.

We are also the same size, so if she underpacked, she could have borrowed shorts or socks or something from me.

I brought all this up with my sister and we chalked it up to Mom being bipolar. She told me that, the night before Mom got on the plane, she unpacked and repacked at least three times, she was so stressed out about not having what she needed. Sis said, “If you thought her suitcase was overpacked, you should have seen what she didn’t bring – all the stuff she left in the trunk of her car.”

The ONLY reason I gave a damn at all was because I’m the person who had to lug all Mom’s luggage through the airport, to my car, into Mom’s room in my house, and back again. The suitcase did have wheels, but I still had to lift 80 pounds of socks into my truck. The funny thing was, Mom ended up trying to give me most of her clothes because she’d totally packed wrong for the weather and ended up not wearing much else besides one pair of capri pants and a few t-shirts. She kept saying, “Why did I bring all this junk?” She could have brought a backpack with her meds in it and just worn my clothes. She left all the swimsuits at my house because she only wears them in Florida.

Anyway, to explain Mom: she doesn’t travel much and she has a hard time picturing packing shorts when she looks out the window in Ohio and sees snow on the ground. She cannot wrap her brain around the idea that I live 1,200 miles south of her and, therefore, it’s a little warmer down here. Every day she would wake up and ask me if it was cold outside and would she need a jacket (and could she borrow one of mine because she didn’t bring any). I’d be standing there barefoot, in shorts and a tank top, coffee cup in hand, and I’d just stare at her because it was 85º outside already. She’s just not used to planning only for what she needs + potential emergencies. She can’t figure out what she needs for a few days when she’ll be outside of her normal routine. That, and she’s batshit crazy.

So if anyone wants to stay with me at the beach for a few days, I have a vast collection of swimsuits you can use. :smiley:

20

So… you’ve met my mother, then? :smiley: