Why are these questions different from all other questions? For one thing, they're in Klingon.

My family is now in the possession of the coolest religion-related book on earth. Even the atheists will like this one.

It’s called 300 Ways To Ask The Four Questions, and the authors are either Passover-obsessed or have no life. (Not that I’m saying that’s a bad thing).

They’ve got the obscurest, most remote, most endangered languages in there. Ever heard of Lao, Djuwri, or Swabian? Me neither. Plus Ndebele, Lenape, and Farsi. And Latin, Egyptian hieroglyphics (Middle and Late periods), Assyrian, and Ancient Greek. (They’ve got common languages in there, too).

They’ve also got styles of speech, such as Lawyerese, Vally Girl, and Upper West Sider. They’ve got a Dr. Suess version (borrowed from another guy with too much time on his hands). They have artificial languages like Esperanto, and fictional ones like Quenya (Elvish) and, yes, Klingon.

This year’s Seder is going to be very interesting.

I think one of the joys of my life would be to hear the Lord’s Prayer or something similar in Seussian. Perhaps the Seder questions would suffice. Could you post it here?

There would probably be copyright issues (it’s a very long poem), but here’s the book they took it from.

Thank you! Just ordered the book (and an extra CD/DVD for my son’s school).

It’s cheaper to order directly from the author at http://whyisthisnight.com/

($39.95 vs. $59.95 at Amazon).

Can’t wait to ask the 4 Questions in Tagalog! :slight_smile:


(missed the edit window)

For eleanorigby, the Suess version is at

What are the Four Questions?

:smack: Sorry. Clueless Jew forgot to explain things again.

During the seder, the youngest child is supposed to recite four ritual questions about “Why is this night different from all other nights?”

You didn’t post the Klingon? What villainy is this?
Oh, fie!

I’ll give it a shot:

*Our Father, who art in paradise,
Thy name is hallowed three times thrice,
Thy kingdom come;
Thy will be done,
In earth as it is in nicer than nice.

Give us our spam tins
And forgive our sins,
We’ll forgive our neighbor,
and temptation we won’t savor;
So please save all our skins.

For thine is the kingdom, the awesome, and the anthem for ever and ever and ever and ever.*

Very well then.

If you want to hold your Seder on Planet Kronos, you say

No idea how you’re supposed to pronounce that.

The Klingon begins with the Father asking the child, “What do you want?”


You have great honor!

Mrs. Plant insists the questions are always asked in Hebrew. Mrs. Plant will not let me use a Haggada to write a satire.
Mrs. Plant is without humor!

Mrs. Plant is contemplating divorce.

One point in an ex’s favor (not that I want to give him many) but he would have thought a seder that incorporated Klingon texts was awesome. As do I.