I can definitely see how someone who’s a little phobic about airports would get more anxious arriving too early. And I can see how, if you’re anxious, concentrating on things like announcements (which are almost constant) would be tough.
I don’t have your anxiety, but I did miss a flight once when I was pacing right near the gate. I’d just found out my credit card had been hacked and was on the phone with Discover. I tuned out all the announcements so I could focus. The flight boarded and left early. After that, I signed up for text alerts so Ik’d have one less concern.
I’m with you on this one. (Did I get here in time?)
For instance, I have had traumatic brain injuries. The primo executive functioning I used to have to arrive on time every single time is just no longer within my reach no matter how hard I try. There are several categories of invisible disabilities that can challenge punctuality success. I try to allow others a margin of grace and hope they reciprocate.
Fortunately, there are no time nazis, and so no one who believes this strawman of yours.
All it is is a simple matter of caring about following through on what you said you would do. Some people do, others don’t. Some are willing to put in the effort to plan things out in order to not leave others waiting on them, and others would rather spend the time that others spend waiting on them rinsing out the glasses in the sink.
And you very well can explain that, and people can expect that you won’t be on time all the time.
I have no problem with someone who tells me they don’t know when they will get there. They are being honest, and I can work with that.
What I have a problem with is when someone says that they will be somewhere at a certain time, and they don’t follow through. And I’m not saying that they have to be “right on the dot” as some of the strawmakers in this thread have spun. If someone says 5:00 PM, and they show up at 5:05, no problem. 5:10, they may get a raised eyebrow. 5:15, and I’ll ask what kept them so long, and why they didn’t call to let me know they were running behind. 5:30, and I’ve left.
If someone is physically disabled and can’t walk, I certainly wouldn’t demand that they go for a walk, but if I don’t know that and they agree to go for a walk, and then show up with crutches or a wheelchair, it’s not my fault that they didn’t tell me that this was not an appropriate activity for them.
You chose to move the “simple” from one part of my statement and apply it to another. I’m not sure why you would choose to do such a thing, but it does change what I said into something else, which is what you then went on to respond to. As you didn’t actually respond to what I said, but rather, to what you chose to imagine it said, I’ll try again:
The simple part is whether you decide whether or not you respect other people’s time and their efforts to be on time. The not so simple part, for all of us, is to actually fulfill a commitment that we make. It’d be far easier for me to decide that I’d rather finish reading this chapter, or make some more messageboard posts, or watch another youtube clip, rather than be on time. But I choose not to do those things, and instead, show up when I said I would.
Is it simple enough to say, “5:00? I don’t know if I can make that time.” Vs, “5:00? Sure, I’ll be there.” and then not be there?
5:00 o’ clock? I’ll do my best to be there by 5 and I’ll let you know if I’m going to be late and we can adjust from there?” That work?, assuming I do all the hacks I’ve learned on my end to make that work? My keys, phone and purse by the door, clean clothes laid out the night before, multiple reminder alarms leading up to departure time being some of them. Understand that implementing timeliness for some takes an incredible amount of cognitive effort and is fraught if just one building block hits a snag. I hear that process is a “just” for you, it’s DDay level of planning and execution for me, a measure of the value I place on connecting with others.
I understand completely. I’m hoping they’d help Puzzlegal with her concerns about gate changes, but maybe that’d just be a drop in a very large bucket.
That totally works. In this case you haven’t made a commitment to necessarily be there on time. All the timely people are ever upset about is not following through on a commitment. It’s no different than saying that you’re going to bring the beer to a potluck and showing up with nothing.
That just sounds like the standard work I have to put in to make sure I’m somewhere on time. It isn’t out of the ordinary. That just sounds like normal organisation. It doesn’t come naturally to me but I do put the effort in because I value punctuality.
Because they stress themselves out by choosing not to make it easier on them. They put themselves in situations where they are already running late and because of that they are stressed to make up the time to be on time. Get up an half-hour earlier and cut the shower time in half and reduce the stress.
Then educate me. Where is the difficulty in setting your alarm for 8:30 instead of 9am and taking a 10 minute shower instead of a 20 minute shower? Where is the difficulty in checking google maps to realize the “20 minute drive” is realistically 35 minutes?
Neurologists, neuropsychologists and speech language pathologists go to school for years post graduate to learn how to do cognitive rehab with brain injuries. You need to trust me that it is not simple, easy or ‘just do this’. Lots of effort, intentionality and sustained adaptations need to be implemented seamlessly.
Because saying “It’s difficult for me.” does not necessarily negate my premise that people make no effort to be on time. To me, my experience with people are habitually late it’s like saying “Powerpoints are difficult for me.” because you start 10 minutes before the presentation or “History is difficult for me.” because you don’t study for the tests. Like my step-mom who is always late. If it’s difficult for her to be on time, then why is it difficult to NOT rinse the glasses in the sink?
Hence my question of why is it difficult to put forth minimal effort to be on time. I don’t think my 3 examples should be difficult to implement but let’s say it is. I’m honestly curious WHY those things (getting up earlier, shorter prep time, better estimation of travel time) are difficult for people to do. And I will allow that for some people there may be a medical condition like OCD or executive dysfunction at work him, but for people simply say, “It’s stressful for me to be on time.” does not really answer the question of why they are late. If their choices make them run late and are thus stressing them out then what is the difficulty in choosing to give yourself more time to be ready?
Looks like we simul-posted. In my post above I do talk about medical issues so if someone has, let’s say, TBI and thus difficulty processing the time-domain then that is a whole different issue than someone that has to leave at 11am that wakes up at 10:30 and takes a 40 minute shower claiming “It’s difficult to be on time.”