Okay, try looking on the back of your computer for the switch marked “Fix Computer”. Flip this switch
(Whaaaaaat? I just wanted to see if she’d do it… 
)
Eve – what version of the operating system? Windows XP? Windows ME? Windows 98? I don’t know about XP, but “System Restore” is not under the properties window in some versions of the OS (that’s “operating system” for the non-geeks).
NetBIOS would be found in Control Panel by double clicking Network Connections, right clicking Local Area Connection, clicking Properties, and looking in the list in the white box.
If NetBIOS is on the list (and it may not be, it might not be installed) you’ll want to click it and then click ‘Uninstall’ or ‘Disable.’
If you’re using Windows XP, you right click the My Computer icon on your Desktop, click Properties, click the System Restore tab, and make sure a checkmark appears in the box next to ‘Turn off System Restore’. If there isn’t one there, click that box and then click OK.
If you’re using Windows 2000, you won’t have a System Restore to turn off.
Eve — I feel your frustration. I received some advise that saved me from giving up in disgust and here it is.
It’s slow and tedious but after a while little lights start coming on and you’ll be a regular guru.
I originally tried this with .docs in Linux. Brief help files written by the programmer that will make you tear your hair out (literally) but I’ve found it works well with any technical document.
Not trying to be pedantic here, just not to freak anyone out. The new worm only affects operating systems built on the NT system, and apparently only NT 4 and further. It will not have any effect on a computer using an OS built on MS-DOS, which eliminates 95, 98, 98SE, and Me from having to worry about it.
Are you trying to make me feel better about my old-ass computer?
Well, I wasn’t ignoring you all last night—I lost my internet connection. I installed a firewall, but it seems my Comcast internet connection already had a firewall (more of a fire picket fence, as it turns out), and the two fought to the death and destroyed my internet connection. I’ve been on hold with Comcast for a half-hour already, trying to schedule a service call to get reconnected . . .
I left the internet cable unplugged, so if any worms or viruses come through it, they can play with the cats.
Oh, my… Eve, you didn’t… you did.
Rule number eleven: Take advice from only one person at a time.
This is not a problem, I don’t think. Uninstall the firewall. Uninstall the XP firewall if you put that in. I’ll tell you how.
Then we’ll patch your system and get you nice and clean.
Are you virus free?
Virus-free. Already uninstalled the firewall—my friend David talked me through that on the phone. Internet is still down. And, of course, I can’t access the SDMB at home for advice, as *my internet is down. *
Take advice from only one person at a time? What fun is that? I took advice from twelve different people: all of it unintelligible, and of of it completely contradicitng what the previous person had just told me . . .
That’s okay. While I’m sure the friendly people at Comcast aren’t going to be pleased, they will help you as much as they can. Do not listen if they ask you to reinstall windows. Or format your hard drive.
BRAVO! I don’t usually quote a post so extensively, but I wanted to say that you deserve a great deal of recognition for this statement. You, sir, are a mensch among annoying gits. The computer is a tool I use to get my work done. It should not EVER become the focus of what I’m doing. If it goes down, I’m frustrated and I want it fixed. Don’t patronize me because I don’t know what a .dls file does. You don’t know my jargon (Quick, what is a flat? What is Rubylith and what is it used for? Spread, Knockout, Bleed?) and I don’t try to impress you by using it to confound you. I expect the same consideration
I also don’t do tech support
Enjoy,
Steven
1: Shut down your computer entirely.
2: Look at the Comcast box. Are there any lights on it that are on? That are off? Is one of them labeled Link? One labeled 100? Write down the ones that are on and off.
3: Shut down the Comcast box entirely.
4: Wait for ten minutes. Turn the comcast box back on. Wait for two minutes. Check the lights. Are they the same? Different? How is the comcast box plugged into your computer, via USB cable (A thin cable with a metal connector on the end) or via network cable (A thick cable that looks like a phone cord only bigger and the end won’t fit in a phone jack)?
5: Turn on your computer. Can you access the internet? Start, run. Type in
cmd
and press enter.
Type
ipconfig
and press enter.
Write down the result.
Do you have something for “default gateway”? A “dotted quad”, which is a number perhaps like 192.64.0.1? (Four numbers less than 255, seperated by periods)
type
ping X.X.X.X
and press enter, where X.X.X.X is your default gateway.
Do you get a response besides “timed out”?
Type
ping 66.218.71.98
and press enter. Do you get a response besides “timed out”? That’s the address to www.yahoo.com, so if you can reach it, you can reach the internet, but the service that turns numbers into Domain Names is down. If you can reach the first but not the second, you can’t get to the internet, but you can reach your gateway, so the problem may be with your connection between the comcast box and the outside world. If you can reach neither, you get “timed out”, then your computer has serious issues.
I think that’s the minimum I need to know to help you further.
Oh. When done typing “ping” and writing down the results, the little old DOS box will stay on your screen. Type
exit
and press enter to have the box go away.
Finally, go ahead, if you have a Windows 2000 or Windows XP computer at work, and try doing what I just said there. These commands do not change anything on the computer, they just ask various parts of the network to reply and tell you how they’re doing. Did you turn the firewall built into XP on? The one that says “protect my information” or something like it?
Do you have the option to dial up to the internet? Does your computer have a modem and a phone line nearby? Have Comcast walk you through a setup for that, and let’s see if you can connect that way. It’s a good way to test to see if you can connect to the internet, how badly your computer is confused. If you have success at it, then your internet connections are temporary. If it does not work, then your problems may last for a while and are more serious.
Any questions, anything need more explanation?
Thanks! I’ve been wondering how to find what my home IP address is.
Thank you, Sabbath, darling. I just called Comcast and they said I have to call them back when I’m at home—I’ll try tonight. But I will also have your printed instructions up on my bulletin board . . .
Next week, Jeff, we’ll play ‘Fun with ipconfig /all’. 
That command will give you not only your own IP address, but other useful information.
For example (this is my laptop at work):
Ethernet adapter Local Area Connection:
Connection-specific DNS Suffix . :
IP Address. . . . . . . . . . . . : 192.168.1.70
Subnet Mask . . . . . . . . . . . : 255.255.255.0
Default Gateway . . . . . . . . . : 192.168.1.254
The Subnet Mask indicates which class of IP address you fall into. 255.255.255.0 indicates a Class C. Can tell that I’m on private IP space (that is the IP address of my individual machine isn’t accessible to the rest of the Internet) because it starts with 192.
Things you want to look for in ipconfig for troubleshooting:
You don’t want to see 0.0.0.0 or 169.254.67.145 as your IP Address because that means your computer isn’t getting an IP from the DHCP server.
You don’t want to see your Subnet Mask say 255.255.255.255, as this also indicates a problem communicating with the DHCP server.
If you use ipconfig /all, you can find out the hardware address (MAC address) of your network card, the address of the DHCP server, your host name, and other useful information about the configuration of your machine on the network.
When experiencing problems getting an IP address from the DHCP server (that 0.0.0.0 or 169.245.67.145 thing), the ipconfig /renew command is a big help.
If you think you can’t reach the Internet, the first step is to type something like:
ping 66.218.71.98
or
ping 216.168.229.228
The second one is a root nameserver run by Network Solutions, and it should never be down.
If you get a response that looks like:
Ping statistics for 216.109.118.72:
Packets: Sent = 4, Received = 4, Lost = 0 (0% loss),
Approximate round trip times in milli-seconds:
Minimum = 52ms, Maximum = 55ms, Average = 53ms
You can reach the Internet.
Then you type something like:
nslookup www.yahoo.com
or
nslookup ns1.netsol.com
and see if you get a reply like:
Non-authoritative answer:
Name: ns1.netsol.com
Address: 216.168.229.228
That indicates that DNS (Domain Name Service, translates word names that humans can remember into numbers computers remember) is working properly.
If you get a message that says ‘can’t find’, then there is a DNS problem, which usually means that a server at your ISP is down.
Sometimes your DNS server is in your cable modem or DSL modem and power cycling it as E-Sabbath explained will fix it.
None of those commands actually cause any changes to your computer, with the exception of ipconfig /renew. The ipconfig /renew command just asks for a new IP address from the DHCP server, so it’s not dangerous to run that command.
If you’ve ever wanted to peek at your network settings, these are good commands to try.
And now I’ll quit running off at the mouth about networks.
Omigod . . . And people look at me like I’m crazy because I know who Nora Bayes and Bert Savoy were!
It’s all just different kinds of geekdom, Eve.
Even my nick is geek. It stands for Cat-6 UTP network cable.
I’m so freaking geek, my license plate says VHDL.
Don’t make me go all SONET up in here!
Enjoy,
Steven
If it’s all unintelligible, how do you know it’s all contradictory? 