(drives down to the corner convenience store…heh convenient… and turns in to the welcome glow of fluorescent lighting. Creeping past the gas pumps, she parks dangerously close to the friendly, all-too-easily-opened doors. Quickly, with the graceful stealth of a hungry vampire, she enters… the whispers of evil, packaged sugar yummies gaining volume and strength until she is shuddering! OH GOD!)
OK… I’m full of drama. I think I’ve seen too many movies for own my good and eaten too many of those lil’ monsters for my own good. I didn’t really drive to the gas station, I swear I didn’t.
This time of year is just evil, evil most delicious, and I will try to contain the wicked sweet tooth lest I splurge and gain!
Oh, how I’ve splurged! Oh, how I’ve gained (not really but it feels like I gain a pound for every candy corn I munch, is it the guilt, ya think?).
me: Oh woe… alas! Evil, thy name is candy corn.
the candy corn: Oh, shut up and eat me.
me: But… but… you’ll make me sick.
the candy corn: Lies! All lies!
me: No… you lie.
the candy corn: I wouldn’t lie.
me: I DO get sick though, honest.
the candy corn: You just think you get sick. Come on and chomp away! You want me… you waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant meeeeeeeeeeee. (evil chortling)
me: Oh, knave of sweets! Thou art to me a delicious torment!!
so on and so forth…