Yeah, yeah ,yeah.
Happy Holidays, y’all.
You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.
Sealemon88 – well, in the interests of scientific discovery, you need to let someone kick you in the crotch just so we can compare that to Christmas. You honestly cannot make a statement like that unless you are going to back it up with firm, sound scientific research.
Okay, now, just stand easy. Relax your shoulders a bit. No, no, move your hands out of the way… awwww… come here and give me a hug! I guess I’ve got more Christmas spirit than I thought! Oh, wait, it really IS Christmas spirit: Everyone have a shot of this fine, fine vodka! 
And yes, Lisa, I have Funyons. 
Best!
Byz
Hey a kick to the crotch… I shoulda put that on my Christmas list for ya Seale
A true friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out…there are Angels among us
Byz: No further research needed. Once you’ve taken a shot to the hairy bagpipes, you never forget. Now give me that vodka! Goober.
Sue: OK, and I’ll put 1,000 used seatsocks on my Christmas list for YOU.
Y’all be good now.
You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.
Seatsocks? Sealemon88, how dare you present the fair Byz with such an awful, disgusting thing? Is there no bounds to your poor taste? Do you have any decency left? To think, that you would…
Wait. That was a typo, wasn’t it? You probably meant ‘sweatsocks’. Right.
Sorry.
JMCJ
“John C., it looks like you have blended in very nicely.”
-UncleBeer
OK Seale…damn it… now you did it!!!
you had to mention the Sod off ya wankers…and make me miss my Englishman all that much more! And I didn’t even get the waterproof mascara on this morning… Thanks for making my Christmas eve a special one. Now I just look like a Purple and Black eyed Crackwhore!
I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature!
John Corrado – well, uh, the socks were for Sue… he didn’t offer ME anything; however, he was willing to drink my vodka!
Best!
Byz
Damn! Finally got a minute to sit down (cleaning and getting stuff ready for family dinner tomorrow, hubby’s sick with the flu, the dog won’t behave, etc.) and I was gonna add my bitchin’ and moanin’ to this thread and here are all you guys – having FUN!
Screw all of ya!
But don’t stop on my account.
hmmmmm the socks were for Sue…and Seale took Byz’s vodka…some people are just takers and not givers…it just seems to come out in strange ways…lol
Christmas sucks for me because every year my sister (who’s now 31) throws some sort of tantrum and makes us all miserable. This year, she made us change our dinner plans with a literally lifelong friend because when she was a teenager she used to date said friend’s brother and she’s afraid somewhere in the course of the conversation it’s going to come out that she actually (gasp) SLEPT WITH said friend’s brother and her husband will realize that she actually (gasp) had a sex life before she met him (when she was 28). Believe me, I am not making this up or exaggerating in any way. She really is that stupid.
I’ve decided (and my brother has as well) that I’m not going to spend another Christmas with her, though, so hopefully it won’t suck so much in the future.
ruadh – gee, sounds like fucking fun! No, really, that does suck. Sounds like she, your sister, wields an awful lot of power… if you have decided not to play that particular game anymore than I think you will find you have a much better time next year.
I stopped playing a lot of family/friend games this year and I’ve noticed that my life is far more enjoyable… my post about Christmas sucking is just because I get so down with the ads starting up in fucking JULY and it all seems so crass.
I do love the spirit of giving and all the best things surrounding Christmas but I hate the crap like what you are talking about. Games, manipulations, bullshit… it kills the spirit for me. Let’s hope for a bigger and brighter one next time around!
Best!
Byz
Ahhh sweat socks… well you know me… the glamour girl… thanks for the thought lol… Have a good one guys!!!
A true friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out…there are Angels among us
I haven’t read most of this thread, so please forgive me if I am repeating any previous postings; I just thought that this was a better place to tell this than to start a new thread:
I just finished opening up all of my new Christmas presents (it’s tradition in my family to do it on Christmas Eve so that we can visit our “other” relatives on Christams Day.) I was sorely dissapointed.
Sure, I feel like an ungraetful bitch about this, but I didn’t really like most of my presents. And not only do I feel a little bit jipped in this, but I feel like my relatives have wasted good money on things that I will never use.
For example, my mother bought me two long-sleeved shirts. I never wear long sleeves, even in the winter. I wear almost nothing but t-shirts and tank tops. Long-sleeves tend to rub my wrists and make me uncomfortable.
My granmother bought me a very nice black organizer-purse (one of those teeny-tiny things with a million pockets, and none of them big enough for a tube of lipstick.) The main reason she bought it was the day planner that came with it, but I’ve already got a much better one that doesn’t fit in the purse. It’s very nice, and probably cost her some money, but I’ll never use it.
My aunt and uncle bought me a lovely hanging candle. I’m not allowed to have them in the dorms.
I won’t go into every present and why I’ll never use it, but suffice to say, the best gift I got was a bookmark. It’s something that I will actually use (and it’s lovely, too!)
I really think it would have been better if we agreed not to give presents, or maybe made eachother cards or something. No high expectations that aren’t realized, no expensive gifts going to waste.
Cessandra
It’s frightening how many crazies think that world is going to end in a few days. All of us smart people know that it’s not ending until next year.
Oh, wow. That really didn’t fit into the general festive hate-mogering of this thread, did it?
UnHappy Holidays, y’all!
Cessandra – nope, fit right in! I got a snack thing from my sister and that (burp) is already in use. My mother, though, God love her, sent me a Chia Pet (cow) and a Chia Herb Garden… um, I’m almost a pro-gardener so at first I was really taken aback… I thought, “What a shitty gift”. But then I got to laughing.
I’ve always wanted to try one of those things! I think my spirit of fun kicked in so I called her and thanked her. She was afraid that I wouldn’t see the joke and I almost didn’t. I’m really glad that I did!
Best!
Byz
Yep, count me in the “Christmas sucks dead rat through a bendy straw” column. And I used to love the holiday.
What’s humiliating is that, as a Pagan, I should have the chutzpah to say to hell with Christmas and do the Solstice Yule thing on my own. But I haven’t managed it because I am a fucking wimp, and I don’t want to let my parents down or cause a hullaballoo in the family.
So, I watched my mom turn into a Martha Stewart Nazi - cleaning, rearranging, nearly giving herself a hernia over how the centerpiece was arranged. I avoided my dad in the kitchen - who’ll ask me to help and then criticize every thing I do. And I spent ten minutes opening presents that they wanted me to have, not that I wanted.
The best time of the day was playing Clue with my mom, my half-sister, and two of my neices.
Dammit, next year, I’m gonna tell them to make donations to charity for me. At least someone will get something out of it. Then I’m going to demand that Christmas dinner take no more effort to put together than opening a can of spam or calling the Chinese takeout place so we can all spend time together as a family instead of snarling at each other for not mashing the potatoes properly or wiping down the top of the shower stall where no one will ever see.
Merry Fucking Christmas, everyone.
(And yes, I know I’m whining. I will flog myself later.)
Will work for sig line.
phouka – flog yourself later?! Let me do it for you! You, who hijacked another thread of mine come in here and, and, and… uh, get right to the fucking point! SEE how you are?!
I guess you need to be true to yourself. I am AMAZED at what my family puts themselves, willingly, through for the “holiday season”. No shit! Who gives a rat’s ass if the potatoes are lumpy? Who CARES if everything is just so and dusted and perfect? NO ONE! No one cares or notices, but for the very shallow.
I understand wanting your home to be nice, clean and welcoming. This, however, doesn’t mean that Mr. Clean is going to come in and give you his stamp of approval. Martha Stewart can just lick my butt and call it “home made vanilla ice-cream with that extra special touch that means so much” for all I care.
I don’t care about gifts, food, bullshit. I care deeply about BEING with these people. Sharing with them. Loving them. Enjoying them and giving of myself in return. I didn’t give ANY gifts to living members of my family this year. I sent funny cards (frosty the snowman digging in his stocking going, “huh, two lumps of coal” then you open it and he has stuck them in his face yelling, “I can see! I can see!”) and also called each and every family member to tell them that, no, no gifts. Just me. Calling. Saying that I love you, cherish you, and will spend my money to come and actually SPEND time with you.
Yeah, I got a few gifts. They were nice. But the connection, the calls, the real feelings and communication going on were worth more than anything. Gold Rolex? Fuck it. I never wear a watch. Means nothing to me. A twenty minute phone call from my brother, telling me about the delight in his child’s eyes playing with a box? Fucking priceless! Worth EVERYTHING!
You are not a whimp. I think you are trying to do what I do: play a part in their thing while trying to do your own. It’s okay to play along, feel for them, appreciate, participate… unless it’s hurting you to do so. Tell them how you feel. You just might be surprised. You might get your butt kicked too but that’s THEIR hang up, not yours!
When you said the best time was while just playing a game, you got me in a nutshell. I’d rather spend the day playing ball or a board game rather than all this foo-foo pageantry that is meaningless. Time matters. Playing matters. Connecting to others matters. The rest is just window dressing.
Can I be so bold as to say here’s a HUG for you if you want it?
Best!
Byz
I’m a Pagan, so I don’t celebrate the religious aspects of Christmas, but I still enjoy giving my family and friends gifts. And I prefer, when possible, to handmake my gifts. They’re always received best. For example, this year I gave my mom a framed pencil rendering I’d done of a photo of the facade of an old maternity hospital in Paris, with a motto over the door saying Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité - MATERNITÉ. (My mom’s an obstetrician; she was also with me when I took the photo and she was highly amused at the time.)
Anyway, her eyes popped out of her head and she looked like she was ready to cry, she loved it so much. I was so pleased to be able to make her happy like that.
::slowly taking hands down from protective covering::
<font size=-2>a hug? for me?</font>
BWAAAHHHHHH!!! It’s the - it’s the nicest present I’ve gotten this year! Well, I mean, aside from the Buffy calender.
Well, that and the fact that you understand where I’m coming from. What happened to the Pillsbury orange danishes we always have Christmas morning? What happening to opening presents first thing? What happened to the Christmas movie expedition? Why the frigging hell can my parents not just relax and enjoy themselves?
I envy my brother and roomie who were on their own Christmas day. They exchanged presents, saw a movie and had Chinese food. Now that’s the way to do it.
And next year, I’ll actually remember Solstice in time to do something about it!
(I hijacked a thread of yours? Oh, that Mark Serlin debacle. Oh, god, Byz, I abase myself. I grovel in mortification. I kiss the hem of your gown. I plead for absolution. Can you ever forgive me?)
Will work for sig line.
Don’t mind me. I’m insane, that’s all. I thought “Mark Serlin”, because I was the first one to say “unfuck you” at him for his masturbatory obsession with/hatred for fat women. And I think the thread he later showed his insanity in was Stoid’s anyways.
But the apology still stands.
Will work for sig line.