Even ignoring people like me, who think “mayo like” butter is a little gross…They charge an enormous margin on the wine, and can afford to spend a lot of effort in serving it. They usually don’t charge for butter at all (explicitly, anyway.) That might be part of the difference. It makes sense to track each bottle of wine, how long it’s been in what environment, etc. It probably doesn’t pay to track each serving of butter.
Just last night I was dining fancy. A small individual loaf of freshly made whole wheat bread was included. And butter. Which was a lovely piped 1-1/2" rosette in a 2" stainless steel cup. The butter was softer than the cup, but not by much.
That was one of the first things served, and 2 hours later as I was finishing dessert the butter was just now spreadable without tearing the bread.
My comparison to mayo is a slight exaggeration but I could not immediately think of any other common condiment with the correct consistency. IMO butter really ought to be slightly firmer than mayo. Maybe about like hummus? But if spreading it on a croissant tears the thin dough, it’s too hard.
As to melts in mouth, I guess I’ve never had that experience. Once it goes in, it goes down before it has time to melt.
On a slightly different note …
I was always a toaster user. My soon-to-be-ex turned me on to toaster ovens. That was a revelation.
Put a bread slice on a plate, cover with very thin slices of refrigerated butter, then heat in the toaster oven until the butter is liquid and the bread is both warm and sodden, but not yet more than slightly crisped at the edges. Toast tartare au beurre is Perfection!
YMMV of course. 
I get what @puzzlegal is getting it. You clearly don’t savor your food! 
But, yeah, I’ve been known to eat chunks of cold butter and just let them melt away on my tongue like you would with something like chocolate. The mouthfeel and flavor is great. (Preferably European-style cultured butter like Vermont Creamery). Now, normally our butter does live at room temperature, but the back-up butter is in the fridge, and then freezer. So, our cycle goes: fridge-to-butter dish, freezer-to-fridge so we always have plenty of butter around. But when I want a chunk of butter on a cracker, I go for the cold butter. (Preferably, it’d be at more like 55F, but I’ll take what I can get – room temp butter is too soft to enjoy the effect.)
If you have, or have space for, a wine fridge it can hold your stash of red wine and your stash of butter at your perfect serving temp for both. Win win.
Damn. My last place had a wine fridge. My new one doesn’t and I’m a bit pressed for space. We shall see.
Just for the record, in addition to personal butter preferences, there’s the whole issue of the type of bread.
A harder butter, smear reasonably well even cold if it’s over a tough, chewy hard bread (my preference) or @pulykamell’s crackers or even crispbreads. But try the same on a soft, tender croissant as mentioned by @LSLGuy, then yeah, you’re going to damage the flakey layers with a colder butter even with the greatest of care.
So that adds another layer of personal preference to the debate.
For hot bread served at a steakhouse, my hack was to imbed the butter knife or a spare steak knife if the (generally mini-sized) loaves of bread to warm the knife not the butter, which got me an easier way to slicing the butter, but still the cool not completely melted butter I prefer.
Real croissants are full of butter. Fake croissants aren’t really worth eating. I’ve never tried to butter a croissant.
We have VERY different toast preferences. I like to toast it until it’s very dark. If it’s a little burnt I’ll scrape off the actual charcoal and enjoy the rest. After it’s done, i let it cool enough that it won’t totally melt the butter before spreading thin bits of butter all over it. And maybe a sprinkle of salt. (We usually have unsalted butter.) Yum!
Speaking of croissants, it should be mentioned that some recipes (usually flaky pastry-like things) require cold butter as an ingredient.
We sure do.
If it gets crunchy it’s bad. The slightest hint of black means the toast goes in the outdoors trash and the house is opened up for a couple hours to disperse the hideous stench of dead toast.
Good gawd woman, at least have the decency to use spoilers on your trigger phrases.
Yes I’m kidding, but we do indeed have nearly polar opposite tastes in toast.
Bon apetít mon cheri
Whipped butter can be salted or unsalted so I’m not sure what you mean here.
I had the exact same reaction. (I grew up in New Hampshire in the 1970s.)
We use a lot of butter at my house and while we store most of it in the refigerator but always have a stick in the butter dish at room temperature. Last time my mother-in-law visited, she kept putting the butter dish in the refrigerator every time we weren’t looking. I imagine it’s just easier for restraurants to keep the butter chilled at all times, but it’s inconvenient to use to spread on my biscuit, toast, or roll.
I mean, it’s supposed to be toast, not just warm bread! Has to be at least medium brown for me, otherwise, what is the point?
Perfect toasted bread (or ideally, bagels) comes from being briefly pan fried in a hot skillet in butter until GBD (Golden Brown Delicious).
Mostly though, I’m in the toast until light brown, juuuust shy of turning dark. Of course, a lot depends on the thickness and quality of the bread. Super cheap bread (which I generally no longer buy thank god), when toasted, tends to turn into something resembling cardboard when well toasted, rather than preserving an inner, more moist layer.
Oh, additionally, watching a pat of coldish butter melt on a baked good (pancakes and waffles) is also more aesthetically pleasing to me than the too-light whipped butter that I’m offered at most breakfast joints. Although it’s certainly easier to spread in an even layer over breakfast goods!
I think this belongs here: Cold Butter
This. I mean, sometimes i want bread, not toast. But if i want toast, i want it crunchy and deliciously browned.
Note that salt has a preservative effect on butter. So you can leave salted butter out at room temps but not unsalted butter.
(Medium brown toast, butter just short of liquid)
Forget butter, let’s talk toast! (But in other threads, the poll thread and the poll discussion thread.)