Why did my car's electronics go crazy?

Yesterday, I tried to start my car, and the electronics pretty much went nuts. The radio came on and started changing stations, random warning lights and turn signals started flashing, the wipers started going by themselves, the A/C turned itself on.I took the key out, and everything kept turning on and off. It was like a comedy or bad horror movie. I finally popped the hood and disconnected the battery to get it to stop. I waited 20 minutes or so, reconnected the battery, and this time the car just wouldn’t start at all. I wound up jump starting it, went to an auto parts store, and bought a new battery. It’s running fine now (knock on wood).

But why would a dead battery make everything electrical in the car just turn itself on & off randomly? It’s a 2001 Dodge Grand Caravan. Never had electrical problems in the past. Was running fine the day before. We did have some electrical storms move through the area Saturday night & Sunday, but I’m pretty certain I’d have noticed if lightning struck the car sitting in the driveway 10 ft. from the house. It does have a remote starter installed.

Low voltage can do some wild and wacky stuff.

Yes, I’ve read quite a few accounts of a low-voltage battery doing things just like that.

The situation you described is normal for a low battery situation. When the voltage goes below 10.5 volts on modern cars, it is not enough to power the various devices properly. Their service becomes intermittent and sketchy. Assuming your battery is not low from leaving a light on or something, the battery is bad. If the battery is over three years old, I would make that assumption to start with as you have nothing to lose as the battery is on borrowed time. I know they CAN last much longer, but the reliability is simply not there.

Holy hell. When this happened, I literally said, out loud, “I feel like I’m in Al Bundy’s car!” and here he is giving me advice!