why did the chicken cross the street ??


I always thought it crossed a road.

What are you blathering about, Heather?

Because he wanted to see the penis of the urinating chicken on the other side?

sly – that one made my day! ROFLMAO!!

“non sunt multiplicanda entia praeter necessitatem”
– William of Ockham

Because it was stapled to the kinky poster? :wink:

Livin’ on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine

Why did the chicken cross the road?


KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.

PLATO: For the greater good.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that’s the only trip the establishment would let it take.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.


CAPTAIN JAMES T KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken’s side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken’s people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was the solution: Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man the chicken ‘crossed’ the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said untothe chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road.” And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

RICHARD M NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road; I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn’t anyone ever think to ask, “What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?”

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.

OLIVER STONE: The question is not, “Why did the chicken cross the road?” Rather, it is “Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?”

DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road, it transcended it.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain.

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one.

CYNIC: To show the squirrel it could be done!

Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I’ll find out.

Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and, therefore, synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

John Locke: Because he was exercising his natural right to liberty.

Albert Camus: It doesn’t matter; the chicken’s actions have no meaning except to him.

Fox Mulder #2: It wasn’t a chicken, it was a UFO and part of a government coverup.

Darwin #2: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

Immanuel Kant: The chicken, being an autonomous being, chose to cross the road of his own free will.

Grandpa: In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

Dirk Gently (Holistic Detective): I’m not exactly sure why, but right now I’ve got a horse in my bathroom.

Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken 2000, which will both cross Roads AND balance your checkbook, though when it divides 3 by 2 it gets 1.4999999999.

M.C.Escher: That depends on which plane of reality the chicken was on at the time.

George Orwell: Because the government had fooled him into thinking that he was crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really only serving their interests.

Plato: For the greater good.

Aristotle: To actualize its potential.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.

B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences, which had pervaded its sensorium from birth, had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own freewill.

Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?

The Sphinx: You tell me.

Emily Dickenson: Because it could not stop for death.

Saddam Hussein #2: It is the Mother of all Chickens.

Joseph Stalin: I don’t care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelette.

Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed it, I’ve not been told!

Common ¢ for all ages…
“Well, there was that thing with the Cheese-Wiz…but I’m feeling much better now!” – John Astin, Night Court

Uh, sorry about that long post.

Common ¢ for all ages…
“Well, there was that thing with the Cheese-Wiz…but I’m feeling much better now!” – John Astin, Night Court

no sorry SLY dear lol thats not the answer try again better yet call your kindergarten teacher and ask her…tell her you cant quite figure it out for yourself…or hell just ask a little kid Im sure they would know

The answer is obviously newspaper.


And why did the pervert cross the road???

He was stuck to the chicken.

Why did the man cross the road?

He heard the chicken was a slut.

Unreal…Heatherlee and I posted the same topic almost simultaneously!

To get the Budwieser!

“Quoth the Raven, ‘Nevermore.’”
E A Poe

Because it was in a Kentucky Fried Chicken box and the car was parked across the street.

To get to this side, where all the other birdbrains are.

Ray (P’kaaaaaaawwwwk!)

Normalacy is a temporary condition,if it SHOULD last more than two or three days,see your physician. My wife graduated from a normal school, I almost did but I started goofing off which is normal for me.
Your friend,
Normal Norman

“Pardon me while I have a strange interlude.”-Marx

Why…why…why? Oh yeah, that’s where the ROOSTER was.

You know that commercial for Denny’s…“I’m just a love machine”

I am not weird, I’m just normle challenged.

More fun for this thread in MPSIMS!

GQ Mod

Amazed no one’s posted this yet!

Chakotay: Whatever its reason, whatever its goals, we should respect its right to cross the road and seek its own spiritual awareness.

Neelix: Actually, Captain, I’m not really familiar with the chickens in this system. But, if you can catch it, I can cook it.

Riker: I don’t know why, but I know how: with pleasure, sir.

Worf: I don’t know. KLINGON chickens do NOT cross roads.

HoloDoc: How should I know? No one tells me anything around here. I didn’t even know we added chickens to the crew. All I know is that it would have been nice, BEFORE the chicken went off to the cross the road, if it had remembered to turn me off!

Dr. Crusher: If there’s nothing wrong with the chicken, there must be something wrong with the universe.

Dr. Soran: His heart just wasn’t in it. (Scenes of chicken torture with nanoprobes have been edited out.)

Scotty: Because she couldna take much morrrrrre.

Odo: I don’t know, but I’m sure it must be Quark’s fault.

Quark: Who, me?

Charlie X: Because it didn’t want to STAY…STAY…STAY…

Kirk: You chicken bastard, you killed my son…YOU chicken BASTARD, you killed…my SON…you CHICKEN bastard…youkilledmy…son!

Troi: I feel the chicken’s pain!

Kira: It was probably being chased by those cursed Cardassians.

Bones: Dammit, I’m a doctor, not an ornithologist!

Data: The chicken, in observing that it was on the opposite side of the 20th century Terran paved roadway, was aware that its immediate goal should have been to traverse the distance without interception by any kind of combustion-propelled personal transport vehicle, but I am unclear as to why any kind of domesticated fowl should desire to perambulate upon a conveyance normally reserved for the usage of…yes, sir.

Dr. Bashir: It probably heard about my amazing medical skills not to mention my sexual prowess and came to get some pointers.

The Borg: Crossing the road is irrelevant. The chicken will be assimilated.

Hugh the Borg: Maybe it just needed a big hug!

B’Elanna: I’m sure it felt suffocated by all the bleeping regulations of bleeping Starfleet and just couldn’t stand it any longer!

Picard: There are four lights!

Q: Wouldn’t you like to know? Too bad your puny human brain wouldn’t be able to comprehend the answer.

Uhura: Shall I open hailing frequencies so you can ask it, sir?

Tasha: That depends…was it fully functional?

Chekov: It must have been on its way to assist in saving my life for the billionth time…did I scream this time?

Khan: With my last breath I spit at the chicken…

Harry Kim: I don’t know, it’s my first mission.

Paris: Well, I think that…say, that’s a lovely shirt you’re wearing.

Harvey Mudd: Chicken? I don’t remember any chicken. No no no, there’s been a terrible misunderstanding.

Janeway: Its primary goal was no doubt to get back to the Alpha Quadrant…and it probably misses its dog.

Nurse Chapel: Oh, Spock!

Lwaxana: Oh, Jean-Luc!

Spock: Fascinating, Capta in.

V’Ger: To join with the Creator.

The Grand Nagus: Stupid chicken! You don’t cross the road all at once! You sneak across it quietly, without anyone noticing!

Gul Dukat: Well, that’s a very interesting question…I’m sure we can work out some kind of arrangement to obtain that information that will be to everyone’s satisfaction.

Kes: It was remembering back to the times when its ancestors crossed roads all the time! They lost those abilities because they stopped using them!
O’Brien: No problem, Commander, I’ll get right on it.
Wesley: I’m not sure, but I can figure it out if I reroute these systems and reconfigure the warp field and run a complete internal whootchacallit on the computers and…

Sisko: It was seeking deeper meaning. Jake, do you see what we’ve learned from all this?

Jake: Check out the babe that just came off that transport!

Geordi: Well, wherever it’s going, I’m sure it’ll have more luck with women than I do.

Sulu: Don’t call me Tiny!

Sarek: Sometimes logic fails me where chickens are concerned.

Mr. Homn:

Dax: To get to the other side. Kurzon might have disagreed with me, Tobin I’m sure wouldn’t have had a clue,and then there’s…

Tuvok: That’s not a question we’d prefer to hear from a senior officer. It makes the junior officers nervous.

Gene Roddenberry: To boldy go where no one had gone before.

Wordsmith: One of the elite few who knows that George Herbert Walker Bush was a Huge Berserk Rebel Warthog.