Yesterday I found myself home sick from work, so I curled up on the couch with some soup, a blanky, my puppy, and a Star Trek rerun.
OK, I realize it’s supposed to be more suspense, action and adventure than science, but still, I found some of the character’s actions to be poorly thought out and even, dare I say it, illogical. Granted, it was the episode where the transporter split Capt. Kirk and the horned cockerspaniel into good and evil selves, which right there is on scientifically shaky ground, I’m sure, and maybe the technological advances of Star Trek: TNG have spoiled TOS for me, but I couldn’t forgive these plot flaws:
We open on planet something or other where expositional dialogue reveals that, after nightfall, the temperature on the planet’s surface drops to 170 degrees (F, I assume?) below 0. Yet the away team is down there walking around in their regular sweaters and capris pants with only a flimsy awning for protection. I know they weren’t expecting to be there after dark, but isn’t the Star Fleet at least on par with the Boy Scouts when it comes to preparedness? Wouldn’t you think that at least one of them would have thought to bring wooly mittens or electric socks just in case? Even better, this is the future, you’d think their spiffy go-go outfits would be made of super insulated polymers or something to keep the cold out. Or is that too TNG?
Then, as the temperature falls, we see each member of the away team trying to keep warm by curling up in a ball by themselves. I asked aloud, “Why don’t they curl up together and use their body heat to try to stay warm?” Joel responded, “It’s better to die straight than to live gay.” Har-de-har-har.
And let’s not forget the heaters the crew aboard the Enterprise sent down via transporter: They replicated so they wouldn’t work. Wha–?? They made that up! The antennaed cockerspaniel replicated and it still worked! Why wouldn’t the heaters? It was coming back together that killed the pooch, not replicating.
Then there was Sulu’s witty remark about how he wanted Kirk to find a really long rope and lower down a pot of coffee. I have a better idea, send a pot of coffee down in the shuttle craft! The shuttle craft?? Yeah, the dad-blasted shuttle craft!! Oops, someone was alseep at the script.
And why was it so hard for the crew to find the imposter Kirk? Should Spock have just gone to the computer and said, “Computer, please locate Captain Kirk.” And the computer respond [mechanical-talking computer voice on]“I am finding two locations for Captain Kirk.”[/mtcv off] I mean, it’s the ding-dong, rackin’ frackin’ future! I know, I know, too TNG. This model of the Enterprise probably only has the computing power of a Tandy TRS-80. A function like that probably would have caused the whole system to crash.
Finally (even though I can probably think of more, I’m getting tired of kvetching), what was up with the “emotionless” Spock? I mean, he was practically drooling at the opportunity to witness the dichotomy between good and evil personified, then he sexually harasses Yeoman Rand and gives a little “I’m so amused by myself” smirk in the end. “Emotionless” my ass!
Anyway, that was much, much too long and I probably killed my thread before it could start, but what nonsensical plots have irritated the crap out of you?