Why do I even have a house key, if my foot works just as well???

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Ok, this is how my Saturday night went… try not to laugh.

Went out to Ybor, partied my ass off. Danced with some Buccaneer cheerleaders, got shit faced, danced some more, drunk some more, yada y pues yada y pues yada.
I won a cool long sleeve turtle neck shirt and a swiss army watch!! The Marlboro promotions people were at one of the clubs and I conquered some of there little games for prizes. It was great because I really love long sleeve turle necks!! (christmas list hint :wink: … oh, and knives and guns and bullets and an official red rider bb gun with a compas in the stock… )

Anyway, so I had an ok time. Yes just ok…
Then my brother dropped me off at my apartment at like 3:30am. Stupid me- I left my keys in his car. Well, I walk up to my door- tired and drunk as hell- and try to open the door. Of course it’s locked. It is always locked, my roomates are lock nazis. The damned thing is even locked when everyone is home at 3 in the afternoon.
So there I am staring drunkenly at the damn door knob. Let’s see here… something opens this thing I know that much. But what is it that goes in the little hole??? Hmmm, first I try my watch band… nope I just can’t get it in there. Maybe my other watch band… (I had two cause I won one) nope, that does not open it either…
Oh yeah, KEYS!!! Where the fuck are my keys. Then I realize I left them in my brother’s car. My brother is well on his way home by now. Truthfully I do not remember how long I stared at the door knob and I am not sure if I tried to unlock it with anything else besides my watch bands… but I remember I was very damn tired and I wanted to go inside. RIGHT NOW!
With a swift kick the door flew open- pieces of the now shattered door jam go flying everywhere. IT WORKED!!! WOOHOOOO!
So I walk in and crash on the couch. Ahhhhh sweet couch!..
My roommate comes home from work at like 7am. I was still a little tipsy when he woke me up.
“What the hell happened to the door?!?”
“I couldn’t get in”
“So you busted it open”
“Yeah, don’t worry, I will fix it”
“With what?!!!?”
“Ummmmmm, nails?” Then I went back to sleep and he went to his bedroom.
I honestly have the MOST understanding, coolest roommate in the entire world. I have never seen this guy mad. EVER! He has a total “It’ll be alright” attitude toward life. He is the best. Thank god!!

I had to be at work 10am Sunday morning. After work (8pm) I stopped by Home Depot for a standard 'Party Fowl" kit: Spackle, Wood puddy, nails, etc. Then I go to see about getting a Home Depot credit card. Turns out, I already have one. I have had one for about 9 months and they never sent it to me. Hows that for instant credit. The guy gave my my card number and I got the goods.
I just now finished fixing the door jam. Well, for the most part anyway. Boy the neighbors were pissed!!! One lady started yelling and then she sent her boyfriend down to yell at me. Oh well… she is a bitch anyway. The guy was like “Why don’t you call maintainance? That’s what they are for!!” So I said, “Are they going to fix this tonight WITHOUT banging? Do they have magic nails??” He looked at me and was speechless. He knew I was right. I told him to take his ass back upstairs and I would be finished shortly.

OK, that’s my story… how has everyone else been??

2

That should be Party Foul, not fowl…

LOL, I do not party with chickens…

3

How was my weekend? I crammed 40 hours of work into three nights. Shoved a lot of thermometers up a lot of animal’s asses. Got bitten and scratched a few times. Cleaned up a lot of animal crap and had to put up with a lot of crap from idiot animal owners. Helped put a few puppies and kittens to sleep. And the highlight of my weekend was having to clean the gutter behind the kennels.

I think you had a better weekend then I did, Bear.

4

Bwaaa hahahahahaha!

I have a new sig.

5

Glad I could make you laugh, Cheffie. Temperature time always makes the clients giggle too. They just think it is the funniest thing to watch me try to put a thermometer up their dog or cat’s behind.

It’s depressing to think how much of my job is centered around animal butts.
Michi

6

When I took my puppy to training classes, the trainer insisted we all learn to take our dogs’ temperatures. She even checked to be sure we’d written down three readings taken at different times.

Did I fake them? You bet! I never did take rectal temps on my babies either - if they’re hot enough to take in, you just know.

I supervised a slumber party for seven little girls this weekend. When I come to think of it, shoving thermometers up animals’ asses and breaking/fixing doors doesn’t sound so bad after all.

7

Michi, if it makes ya feel any better, I spend my days dealing with assholes too.

8

Bear Nenno, the funniest thing about your story, IMHO, is the fact that the neighbors were screaming at you and threatening to call the cops because you were hammering on the door at 9 p.m., yet you kicking down the damn door at 4 a.m. didn’t elicit a response from any of them.

Cyndar/Michi, I feel for you. I had to take both of my cats to the vet this weekend and I got to see firsthand just what kind of a job you get to do on a daily basis. I couldn’t imagine dealing with that on a daily basis.

9

Shadowfox,
Yeah, I was not worried though. All complaints are handled by the courtesy officer. Fortunately for me, I live with the courtesy officer and he was on duty (his real job) that night anyway. They were powerless to stop me. Bwa ha ha ha ha ha!