Well, they’re in Wisconsin, aren’t they? Why wouldn’t you drive fast?
Unless, for some sick reason, you actually like Wisconsin…
Well, they’re in Wisconsin, aren’t they? Why wouldn’t you drive fast?
Unless, for some sick reason, you actually like Wisconsin…
You got that right. The Cheesers have this Screw-the-Flatlanders rule, and they don’t bother hiding it. My family has a lake cottage in southeastern Wisconsin, and we’ve been the victims of this semi-official policy. My two favorite examples:
- The Boat Speeding ordinance. The town near the (fairly large) lake annexed the whole lake area some time ago, in order to more efficiently screw Illinoisians, who own about 75% of the places on this lake. The town passed a law which states that, after 6 pm, boats can go no faster than Slow-No Wake, which for you non-boaters, is as slow as you can go and still maintain steering. It’s a real crawl.
Okay, at first glance, this doesn’t sound too bad. Not until you know three things: A) The ordinance is only in effect on weekends. Hmmm. I wonder who’s on the lake on weekends? B) In the summer, 6 pm is bright daylight. In northern states, it generally stays light until 9 or so in June and July. C) This is ** not ** a crowded lake. At 6 pm, there might be 5 boats on a lake that could easily hold 30.
It’s real hard (until you’ve been nailed with the approx. $100 fine) to remember to look at your watch when you’re out on the lake having fun in bright daylight. Until I got nailed with this, I didn’t even bring a watch. (Water and most watches don’t mix that well.) Any doubt on the real target of this law was removed when I got pulled over. I was going maybe 20-25 MPH, and the second question out of the cop’s mouth was “Where ya from?” The result was sealed when I told him I was from Illinois. My girlfriend at the time was from Milwaukee, and even she noticed the obvious bias. It was VERY clear to all aboard that if my answer had been Sheboygan, I would have been given a pass. Later that night at a bar/restaurant, we heard second-hand that the cop was bragging about how many FIBs he’d nailed that day.
- The main goal of the town’s annexation was to collect huge property taxes from people who are from out of state. That means they don’t need much in the way of municipal services and (more importantly) can’t vote in Wisconsin. It’s a real revenue advantage.
They’re piggish about it, too. Shortly after my parents bought the place, everyone on the lake had their assessed valuation doubled or tripled, way more than the property was worth. Hey, why not? No one can do anything about it, because they can’t vote the town councilpeople out of office, right? And how many people are going to challenge the assessment, given that they’ll have to drive up to Wisconsin more than once on a weeknight, and maybe even hire an appraiser and a lawyer and file a court challenge. There are a lot of retirees on the lake, and many hardworking people who aren’t legally sophisticated, and would have to burn precious vacation days to challenge this.
Unfortunately for the local extortionists, it didn’t work in my parent’s case. Why not? Remember, I said that this happened soon after they bought the place. We therefore had the best proof in the world that the assessment was way over the true value – the actual sale price. My parents also have the advantage of having a son who is a land use attorney, so they had to take us seriously at the initial tax appeal hearing. A lot of other people weren’t so fortunate, though.
We put up with it, because it’s a great lake. I make a point of avoiding the town when the I shop, though. The locals already have enough of our cash.
OK, I give…FIB???
Fucking Illinois Bastards.
Take it from me, chief. I had the misfortune of living in that bass-ackwards “state” for a time.
Presumably, it’s in order to get as far away from the town of Ripon, WI as fast as possible.
I passed through that miserable little speed trap once. It was about 3 or 4 AM. I had two zonked-out little children in the car, and our hotel was in Appleton. We get pulled over for speeding, the cop shines his flashlight into our car to wake up the maximum number of sleeping people, he makes me drive to the station house to pay the $186 ticket in order to post bond (for a SPEEDING TICKET??? Give me a break…), and the ticket, if I wished to fight it, had to be fought in person, not through a hired lawyer or anything. Not having $186 on me, he helpfully offered to drive me to an ATM. Fortunately, I remembered that AAA does that sort of thing for its members, and I was able to go.
If I hear that the town has burned to the ground, or at least its police station, I plan to throw a party.
I refuse to condemn the rest of Wisconsin because of that little rat-pit, though. It’s a state filled with tons of fun things to do and see.
BTW, I’m from New York, not Illinois.
Flyp, that was my first guess, but I imagined that the Cheeseheads would come up with something more creative than that…obviously I was wrong.
cmk, your Wisconsin encounter was not unique to Ripon. Lots of Wisconsin towns have these kind of unexpected speed traps on main state roads, including the high bond requirement. Avoid Waterford, for example.
Omni, Flyp had it right, although there is a slightly cleaner version: Flatlander Illinois Bastards. Wisconsinites are not known for their creativity, Frank Lloyd Wright excepted. Even most of the cheese is bland. Beautiful state, though.
What about Iowans?
You guys should try to get from this side of the river to the other. Once you get on the bridge in Iowa good luck getting off in Illinois! And there are like six different on ramps and off ramps right after or before the bridge depending on which side you are comming from.
I think Veb can back me up on this one.
I don’t go across the river unless I have to, and I only live a few blocks away from it.
Believe me, pk, they drive like maniacs here in Illinois, too. Jophiel never notices it, because he’s used to it. But I come from the Land of Corn, Indiana, and I see more self-centered arrogance, including driving like a maniac, on the streets here than I saw in 20 years in Indiana.
The same reason why Marylanders drive poorly in Virginia: when they do something bad in traffic, the fact that they’re from Maryland sticks in my mind. Just as many Virginians could do the same mistakes, but I’d still have my Maryland prejudice.
I’m sure Wisconsinonians (?) drive just as fast. Look for them.