People answer “I don’t know” because Amazon sends you s message with a question with a pre-generated response of “I don’t know.” It’s easy to choose and it’s a natural response to the situation.
I don’t know.
Well “Lance-Baker” is two for two, as their only other post revived an even older thread. Perhaps they’ll pipe up with an explanation?
What you mean is that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West.
I want to third this, with an addition. I see a fair number that are along the lines of a review for a knife that give it one star, and then say "This sucks as a screwdriver.
It’s a knife; of course it’ll suck as a screwdriver.
Or better yet, give it a one star review because it doesn’t do something it’s not designed to do. “This Galaxy S9 case doesn’t fit my Iphone” - one star.
The best one-star Amazon rating I’ve seen lately was for a book. The reviewer complained that the paper used to print it was dangerously sharp.
Thankfully the reviewer managed to warn us before passing out from lack of blood due to paper cuts.
I just looked at one of these emails I received from Amazon. There is a question and you can click on a respond button. This takes you to a text box on the Amazon website. I am not getting any pre-generated responses at all.
Because they found it by Googling and don’t realize how old the thread is. I’ve found that younger people don’t realize how old some message board posts can be.
Welcome, Lance-Baker. We can be nice when we try. 
Because there is no rule to read a thread. One of the most foolish and frustrating things about this board, to me.
There is a bog standard board feature that throws out an “are you sure” message when a response is being posted to a thread exceeding the time threshold set by the one who enabled it and this would help people avoid unwittingly responding to a geriatric thread but, as usual, nobody seems able or willing to mash a couple buttons to fix the problem. No, it’s much better to just ensure there will always be the same snarky ass responses to new posters. That’s how you grow a message board base, don’tcha know!
And we can point to this response when the next “Gee, how do we get and keep new members” thread appears…perhaps Lance just discovered the Dope a month ago, read a bunch of threads, became interested enough to join and post…my guess is Lance may remain “two for two”…
Welcome, Lance, as Helena330 said, we can be nice when we try…there’s no rule to bumping old threads, you don’t owe anyone an explanation, and it’s actually interesting sometimes as it gets the discussion going again…
Considering the people who post 1-star reviews for dumb reasons (like an Amazon shipping delay), I will agree that those people are idiots, but those reviews still actually form a useful signal through the magic of big data.
If idiot customers and shipping delays are evenly distributed among products, then those 1-star reviews will have no effect in aggregate.
But if they’re not, then that might be something you want to know about. Maybe an Amazon shipping delay is really caused by the manufacturer packaging things badly so that the shipping box gets damaged more easily. Maybe it’s a weird size or shape. Maybe they’re shipped from a shipping center that does bad work. Those are all reasons you might not want to buy the product, especially if you’re like me and regularly buy stuff at the 2-day-before last minute (the Primeth Hour?) and will be materially impacted if it shows up later than expected.
Or what if it’s the morons buying products who aren’t evenly distributed? It might take some humility to consider this, but if you’re inclined to buy a product that is more attractive to idiots than competing products are, maybe you shouldn’t buy it? Maybe those idiots are saving us from being idiotic ourselves.
The above is only slightly tongue-in-cheek.
Good job running off new posters guys. We sure don’t want this board to last much longer.
Well, I HOPE we haven’t run him/her off! I love it when people revive old threads that predate my time here. They’re interesting, and if they’ve been revived, it means they’re still relevant and worth reviving.
I just got an email from Amazon today: “Nelliebly, as a reviewer of {product number], can you help this fellow customer? [Customer’s username] asked, The wheels broke how can I get the same wheels to replace?” A very good question, as the cart was made in China, and no contact information was included. Gee, I’d like to help this customer, but I don’t know the answer, so I won’t reply. Someone else might think that was rude or mistakenly believe [customer username] was asking him personally and reply, “I don’t know.”
That’s my best guess.