Secret to barking, breath IN when you bark, sounds more like a dog.
Are you familiar with the cartoon where the protagonist antagonizes the dog behind the fence as he’s walking along only to find that the fence eventually runs out leaving nothing between him and the angry dog?
Yeah, that happened to me in real life when I was a young teen.
That was the last time I ever did that shit.
Since this thread is revived I’ll tell my short story that I always love to tell. Driving out of Montreal a couple of years ago. It’s a beautiful, bright day, so we have all the windows open and we’re stopped at a light. Next to us is a lovely convertible with a dad driving.
In the back seat is a kid in a car seat and a BIG dog. As we sit there, the kid goes
BOW WOW WOW WOW!
the dog goes
BOW WOW WOW WOW!
The kid goes
BOW WOW WOW WOW!
The dog goes
BOW WOW WOW WOW!
All in exactly the same tone! I glance over at the guy and he looks at me sheepishly and says, “I’ve got my own security detail”.
It was adorable!
True this. Our neighbor has a yappy mutt. The only thing that shuts him up is if I bark back at him in what my wife says is a remarkable imitation. I think it startles him into silence; or maybe I’m just saying something profound in dog.
I have daily conversations with my cat, in kitty terms, but I’m not terribly sure we are having the same conversation at the same time. I speak cat, but I don’t really understand it. Can’t read or write it either. I’m equally inept at speaking dog. I dog to random dogs on our walks all the time, but again, I don’t think the dog and I are really communicating on the same level. Because I’m trying to say, “Hello, I like dogs. I speak dog.” And I think the dogs are trying to say, “INTRUDER! Get the hell out of my territory!”
I think it boils down to humans are primates. Monkey see, monkey do.
Seriously. I bark at dogs because it’s fun.
I speak to rabbits and squirrels every time I see one. I sometimes speak to birds. But I use English just to set them a good example.
I can do a really convincing bark. Sometimes if my dog is outside and I’m inside, I’ll bark, then my dog starts barking and then all the dogs in the neighborhood start barking. I do it because I’m the alpha and they need to remember that (I’ve got the car, the money for beef jerkey and the park pass).
Because I am the dog whisperer.
Aw I’m just messin’ with 'em.
I bark at them when they bark at me. Fuck them if they can’t take a joke.
So you’re trolling animals? 
I also MOO with cattle.
I’ve got a new addition, a Chihuahua, a rescue (he was my aunt’s, who is dead now). He has big dog syndrome and growled at me in bed when I tried to move him so I could make the bed (I nudged him in the butt). He actually snapped at me. I got in his face and growled back with a mean face as he growled. Then I picked him up and held him up in the air until he shut up. Then I put him on the floor while I made the bed. He jumped back in and I put him off again. Only when I was done and ready for bed did I allow him access.
He’s amazingly grown very receptive to my mean voice in a very short time since then. Faster than my other dog, which I’ve had since 2008 (got the Chihuahua last Christmas).