Perhaps because, for most of the people on earth, the cost of a pack of condoms is a major portion of their income. And they’d rather buy food to keep from starving.
Just to give anouther answer to te original rather loaded question.
Maybe some of these folks are making risk assessments that differ from your own. I don’t drive at 90 mph on the freeway; it represents too great a risk for me. Other folks drive at 90 mph on the freeway; my guess is they evaluate risk differently than me.
In some sense there is no such thing as “safe sex”, if that term is generalized to include STDs, pregnancy, or just guilt. I make a risk assessment before screwing and I get to live by it. My answer to the OP is that they are looking at the relative differently than you. FWIW.
I cant reach orgasm with a condom on or I can slip it on when Im about to reach orgasm if Im somewhat familiar with the partner. Its kind of an anticlimax late in the game but I do it most of the time. Girls have objected to me putting one on. I go and get tested once or twice a year.
Cite? or am I being whooshed?
I have seen this study referenced in certain articles. However, I was under the impression that this particular thesis is applicable only for extremely short reaction-analysis lags.
Surely one has more time for consideration of one’s actions in the prelude to sex than is implied by the study you cite, Dr.QtM?
Well I have had a lot of unsafe sex … I do drive at high speeds.
On the other hand I don’t smoke, do drugs or handglide (though I want to try handgliding). Somehow I don’t feel the risks are that great maybe ? Smoking and drugs are guaranteed brain cell killers and dangerous.
Condoms spoil sex and take away spontaniety. I don’t mind using them that much sometimes… in others I do. I try to have a regular GF in order to avoid condoms. Though when things get hot… we do the darnest things we humans…
That “regular GF” can have a whole host of infections from previous attachments and be quite asymptomatic.
For gay men, I don’t think its justifiable at all to not have safe sex. Yes it may be a pain in the neck, but so are all the fun drug regimens out there, and condoms don’t cause nearly as bad side-effects (a lingering taste of latex, perhaps?). Given the statistical risks the community is at, anything other than safe sex is insanity.
I really do not know.
In 1990, I’d just moved in with my boyfriend-to-be-husband.
We had sex about 3 times(withdrawal) .
he was hiv+.
Then I met this guy. Dan.
We had a brief affair.
He knew about my boyfriend, but I lied and said we hadn’t had sex.
That was just stupid(of him).
Really.
Ideally you should have 3 months of safe sex and once the relationship is "stable" both should do AIDS tests. Once determined they are disease free... then bye bye condoms. (Extra curricular sex should naturally be protected.)
Ideally... still condoms aren't 100%... if your sleeping with the same girl for years on end chances are you will get something anyway. Even with condoms.Are you HIV+? Is he? What was the point of your story (Not to be snarky, just curious)?
It feels better without a condom, for both partners. Does anyone disagree with that?
So from the very start you have a disincentive to use one, which you have to then overcome.
Of course the reasons for wearing one far outweigh the unpleasantness which it adds. But I’m quite sure that that’s where it begins.
I’d also like to point out power issues: some people may not be fully willing or able to oblige their partner to wear one if he doesn’t want to. This is certainly the cause of many infections in Africa; I imagine that many North Americans would be in the same situation.
Ilsa:
That Dan was really stupid to not use a condom, and to believe me.
We are fine, btw (Dan and I)
I keep my test 9get one every 5 years or so) in case anyone wants to se eit.
Though I’ve been celibate for 9 years so theres no way I am sick.
I still don’t get where some people get the notion that using a condom is considered ‘safe sex’. It might be considered ‘safer sex’ but there is still alot of STDs a person can get wearing a condom. Also condoms fall off, or split.
Aren’t condom success rates usually measured by pregnancy rates? In that case they have to figure in how often people have sex, when they have sex & assuming a woman can’t get pregnant during her period figure that number of days into the equation. Also one must consider whether a human egg is larger than a virus particle & how that might effect success rates.
Anyway Cecil wrote a old column, might need updating, which would be nice since its from '94…
“Can HIV pass through the pores in latex condoms?”
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a940506.html
Or if she doesn’t want him to. (Yes, it happens both ways.)
Wow… 9 years ? How do you manage without sex that long ?
Pardon my Ignorance, but what is “subway surfing”?
Just curious, but how common is it to use a condom when engaging in oral sex?
I know there’s still danger involved (such as open sores in the mouth), but personally I’ve never had anyone use a condom for a blow job.
HPL: I believe subway surfing is riding on the roof of a train.
What does egg size have to do with the pores of a condom?
shoot. Thats like asking how I manage without strawberry milkshakes.
I dunno.
I would hate having sex with someone who didn’t want to spend the rest of his life with me; I’ve done that before, to me its called geting used, thrown away when done with like garbage.
Sex without love is a horrible idea to me.
If I’m not in LOVE with someone, I wouldn’t want to have sex with them.
I’m not the only one. Other christians stay pure til marriage.
(tho I didn’t a few times and it wasn’t worth it, even physically)
well…you asked.
I answer.